Saturday, 27 December 2014

No To Grief....Hell Yeah To Recovery

I have never lost a child, I pray never to experience such TRAGEDY and I could never possibly wish anyone such ill....Though it crosses my mind time and again, what I would do with my life, if the one person for which I have made such tremendous self GROWTH happens to disappear from my life (God forbid)....What would I do if I never get to see my beautiful Ray smile at me again (and yes, I use beautiful for my little boy....because that's how I truly see his gorgeous personality). What would I do if the one person for which I burn the midnight oil everyday, struggling and CHALLENGING myself to work on days I feel so lazy and UNMOTIVATED....and then I never ever get to see him again?.....(Ssssshhh Alex, don't even whisper such nonsense....). Yes, I know its incredulous to think such NEGATIVE thoughts, but that is the reality some people have had to live.

Well, I may not ever want to experience such, but I certainly know what it feels like to GRIEF from loss irrespective of how intangible and relative pain might be . I mean, I have loved and I have lost and I know how had it was for me to get over my grief, even block out some of the things that happened between Tiger and I just to get pass the pain, I even remember when my family house got burnt and we lost everything, and just the TORTURE it felt to lose our entire property (not because they were expensive material things) but because of the value of many years of hard work and the painful thought of STARTING all OVER again, was enough to break a soul, or is it the FAILURE of a marriage I so dearly wanted for it to succeed, even if all I wanted was just to please my extended family and the many well wishers, who were rooting for us to work, despite the harsh REALITY on ground.....Now all of these seem like nothing, compared to those who've had to suffer the tragic death of a loved one and not know how to cope or even move on.

At no point does LOSS ever feel good and most times we often WALLOW in grief and self damnation because we BLAME ourselves for not doing enough and we wonder what we could possibly have done RIGHT to impossibly turn things around or change the outcome.

Well, if you have experienced any form of TRAGIC loss and still grieving in silence? Then please tune in to LISTEN to American Author, Life Coach and Clinical Hypnotherapist, NINA BINGHAM chat LIVE with me on #TheNakedTalk, as she bares herself NAKED and shares her unfiltered true life story about the SUICIDE of her TEENAGE daughter and how she overcame grief and reclaimed her life, as depicted in her Confessional Autobiography "ONCE THE STORM IS OVER" set for release in February. 

This Episode "No To Grief....Hell Yeah To Recovery" will be broadcast LIVE on THE NAKED TALK w/ Alex Okoroji on Wednesday 31st, DEC, 2014 @ 10pm (WAT) | 11pm (CAT) | 1pm (PST) | 4pm (EST) at BlogTalkRadio and if you miss the Live broadcast, you can catch the archived show on my radio channel or the PODCAST here or download on ITUNES. 

Here are a Few Things You Should Know About NINA BINGHAM :

* Nina Bingham is a Life Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Suicide Prevention Advocate and Author in Oregon, USA. 

* She has written 3 books of Poetry, 1 Recovery Workbook, and her 5th book, "Once The Storm Is Over : From Grieving to Healing After the Suicide of My Daughter" will be published in February 2015. 

* Nina has two degrees in Psychology, and a Masters of Science of Mental Health Counseling Education. 

* In Her New Book, She is Inspiring, whole-hearted and sincere, Nina speaks from not only her academic perspective, but hard-won life experience as well. 

* Her mission has become to educate teens and
young adults about suicide prevention, and to also guide people through the process of grief recovery.

CHECK OUT HER NEW BOOK here;
www.oncethestormisover.com

W: www.living-enlightened.com
B: Www.ninabingham.blogspot.com

Its time to say No to Grief, And "Hell Yeah" to Recovery. So don't forget to lock down the date, time and follow my radio channel www.blogtalkradio.com/thenakedtalk to set your reminders. Its going to be an illuminating conversation you certainly don't want to miss.

NOTE: If You Like Today's Post, Don't Forget To Drop A Message And Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot).

Have A Sweet Saturday Lovelies! Kisses.
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Thursday, 25 December 2014

Merry Merry Christmas Lovelies

Hey Sweetkins! Cheers to my first December with you all. I do have amazing thoughts to share with you and I'm pretty excited about ending the year with a loud bang!!! (Oh c'mon get your minds out of the gutter) 22nd was my father's birthday and yesterday the 24th was my mother's birthday as well. So late December is always pretty hectic for me....but I promise not to abandon you all. Next week Wednesday i'm having an INTIMATE conversation with an American Author and Life Coach, Nina Bingham who lost her teenage daughter to the cold hands of suicide. She is going to be a Guest on #TheNakedTalk with Alex Okoroji Radio Show and reveal the truth about her journey through grief and recovery, Have it locked down on your calendar.

May this joyous season bring forth a Christmas MIRACLE that will be truly amazing to you and your family. I love you all very much for being super special and supportive. My life has a meaning because of you. Don't forget to have some fun, stay safe and Enjoy the Holidays.


Have A Merry Christmas Filled with Unwavering Love! Kisses!!!
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Wednesday, 24 December 2014

FEATURE : My Wednesday Woman Crush - Stella Damasus

So many people have said at one point or another, that I sort of remind them of Stella Damasus, Err....I wonder why? Perhaps it is the way I talk, act, smirk or carry myself....someone even said  we have similar TASTE in men....Hahahah....(I don't even know where that came from....silly yeah?) but I can't lie, whenever they compare me to her, I'm ecstatic because I consider it COMPLIMENTARY  to be compared to an 'Amazon' as great as she.

My earliest memories of my favourite on-screeen DIVA was usually watching an emotional DRAMA piece, in which the versatile Actress would interpret some of the most challenging characters any Female Actor in Nollywood has ever had to play....and convey the kind of DEEP emotions, certainly not meant for Moi-moi Actors. That's if anyone remembers her shaving her hair for her character in Kingsley Ogoro's "Widows", or Is it her role in Charles Novia's "Missing Angels", Tade Ogidans "Dangerous Twins", Emem Isongs "Games Women Play" or "Behind Closed Doors" and so many more.... And If I was ever asked who my favourite Nigerian Actress was, Stella would WIN that title hands down (yes, I'm crushing like that) and genuinely deserving, for always playing QUALITY characters in movies that had strong messaging and let's not forget lending her voice to national issues that really matter, and if I be honest, no one has really given me the sort of 'goose bumps' she gives me when she breaks down in TEARS....not caring how ugly her once GORGEOUS face suddenly becomes. She let's it all out and doesn't hold anything back. 

It is from watching her quietly work time after time without focusing on the HYPE or fakery that comes with the creative industry or even the sometimes insensitive judgements and provocation that comes from stardom. Just watching Stella's work ethics INSPIRE me truly, so much so that I also dreamed that one day I too would be recognised for my talents....and be as relevant and as successful, not just as an actress but as a full entertainer and BRAND....

My Dad has an amazing soft spot for Stella, and it's no SECRET why....Yes, she's young and beautiful....I know! But If I didn't know better (I would have thought she was an illegitimate daughter from a secret affair) Hahahah.... Just Kidding....but Dang! My Old Man loves her so, And his AFFINITY towards her is very connected to her as a dogged fighter as well as her other talents as an INTELLECTUALLY engaging host and a songbird. And If most people didn't know that Stella was actually a talented SINGER and song writer, then they are in for a pleasant CHRISTMAS surprise. 

I just listened to her new single "THE MAN" and let me not lie, I actually thought it was going to be a ROMANTIC song about the man in her life and how she's found love again....Ha! (Forgive me, even I am prone to  the gist in Gossip Town...) Hahahah...And to my PLEASANT surprise, it really was about the one man, we all need and depend on for everything. Perhaps it is the Jazzy breezy instrumentation or the bluesy feel of the nicely orchestrated production by Daniel Ademonikan, and that strong brazzy tone in her SONOROUS voice....that had me tingly with genuine excitement. if you are looking for some chilled out positive vibe then the new musical SINGLE from my Wednesday Woman Crush is a must LISTEN.


Feel free to catch the vibes HERE and let me know what you think about it Lovelies.

NOTE: If You Like Today's Feature Don't Forget To Share This Post With Those You Like (Or Even Like A Lot).

You can also pre-order or reserve your own 'Specially Autographed' copy of my upcoming book here "THE NAKED EXPERIENCE" and win two VIP tickets to my Book Tour.

Have A Wonderful Wednesday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Tuesday, 23 December 2014

#AskAlex : I'm Unhappy...When Is It Best To Leave My Relationship?

Dear Alex,

How are you? I love your blog, your style of writing and the honesty in which you communicate. You may not know this but your articles have inspired and helped me become a more self assured lady and I'm glad you have taken the naked conversation to radio. Congrats on that. Well done. But I need your advice. I've been in a non-commital relationship with a man for 4 years. Though I love him very much, our relationship doesn't seem to be going anywhere because he still considers himself single and available even though he spends a lot of time with me. My friends think I'm crazy to be in a toxic one sided affair with a man mocks and teases me before his friends and that I should cut him of and leave. I'm not happy, so When do you think is the best time to leave a relationship? I'm still hoping things will change with time though. Charity.



Hello Charity, 

Thank you for the kind words. I try my best to be as honest as possible because they say if you tell the truth it becomes a part of your past, but if you tell a lie it becomes a part of future. And I chose to live a truth. Note that I'm not a professional love coach but I've earned a lot of the WISDOM I share based on my own personal experiences. I mean who best to teach you than experience, right?

I'm really sorry about your relationship, believe me....I know too well what 'unrequited' love feels like, dammit. I mean I've been the woman who has loved one man for 7 years....Truly truly, even with growing apart, all the drama and my own effort at forging ahead and building a future that didn't include him....second chances, third, forth and fifth....believe me, I know where it hurts you bad. That being said, When it comes to relationships, some of us have had the unfortunate but eye-opening EXPERIENCE of being in an extremely toxic one. Most likely, our first experience was enough to be our last, if we were lucky enough to learn from our mistakes and never get involved in one of those types again. But sometimes, we are so DEEPLY involved, that we can’t even see the mess we are in....until it is too late.

We humans have the tendency to IDEALISE the things that we want. And studies have shown that the feeling of being in “love” actually makes your lover seem more attractive, intelligent and desirable than they really are. But isn't that what love is really about? To make an effort to UNDERSTAND someone so much so that you accept them the way they are....Until ofcourse, you realise they aren't willing to do the same with you. They aren't willing to understand you and your needs and accept you the way you are. And until something SNAPS in you, to make you leave and perhaps wonder when you look back at your ex and exclaim “Wow, what the fuck was I thinking?” — That's exactly my point.

Let me put this in perspective, 3 years ago, after dealing with my separation from my husband and some personal issues related to my newly found reconnection with 'Tiger' (not his real name)....We worked together on a few projects (the work took my mind off my pending issues and spending time with him made me realise I still had unresolved feelings for him and that I wanted to still be with him. At some point, I thought he wanted the same thing, maybe even more and we were back and forth on a sexual relationship that was simply a convenience for him (and I say for him, because from day one I had been clear and honest about what I felt and what I wanted). Just like you, I had invested my emotions and my time, yet he still considered himself single and available to mingle. Now the truth is, this time 2 years ago, I wanted to start 2013 fully sorted out in my personal life, nothing like that happened.....A year ago I made the same resolution to move ahead in 2014, once again nothing happened. I stayed stuck in my TOXIC pit....Why? Because I was hoping something miraculous would happen and the planets will finally CONSPIRE to lock our destiny together once again. (I know, Yea! I'm that closet romantic) Hahahah.

That is how powerful being infatuated or falling in love can be. It is so POWERFUL that we literally fall head over heels into an obsession with the other person, and in most cases, the IDEA of what the other person should or could be. When it comes to 'dysfunctional' relationships, people usually hold on because they are deeply invested; whether it be finances, dependance, emotions, or even because so much time has passed that we feel there is no way out.

People will try to make the best of the situation they are in, ENDURE hardships if they aren’t too extreme, or even try to convince themselves of reasons not to leave their current shifty relationships. We become obsessed with hope and see things how they could be rather than how they really are. This is an extremely flawed way of thinking and will bring nothing but long-term pain and suffering for both people involved, but especially for the person who has seemingly invested more heart, more time and certainly more love.

So what are some signs that it is time to leave your relationship?

#1.) Physical Abuse

Whether it is a one-night thing where you got slapped by your drunk partner, or it’s a continual barrage of chronic physical abuse that comes from EMOTIONAL arguments; when it gets to these points, trust is broken and it’s probably going to be over. The person you used to look to protect you has now become someone you assume could HARM you, when things go wrong.

You can try to forgive and forget the first incident, but don’t blame them if they do it again. Maybe they will never hit you again, but you will never forget that they have and this will leave a deep unforgiving scar. Unless you can truly forgive what happened, chances are your relationship is over. And it definitely should be over if this is a habitual thing.

Note: Yes, I remember having an argument about where the baby will sleep because I got tired of constantly standing up between feeds to pick him up from the cot....He was only 2 months old and I wanted my new born to sleep in the middle between us, but he wanted me to sleep in the middle and Ray on the outside of the bed. Let's just say a little argument about it and I received a huge painful kick in my belly....Oh! Did I add that I was still trying to recover from a Caesarean Operation and it wasn't the first of such.  it was only 8 weeks and my stitches hadn't even healed. Let's not add the other time I almost strangled him for hitting the baby in a fit of anger and almost getting us car killed. My point is....if your partner, whether male or female is trying to hurt you, or if you find yourself becoming violent as a response to your partner's ill physical treatment. That's not love— it is time to go.

#2.) Addiction

Whether it’s gambling, drugs, alcohol, PORN, sex or something else, when your partner has become addicted to the point that it becomes a problem and is affecting your well being, or they have betrayed your trust, the relationship is doomed. If they do not wish to stop and continue their addictive behavior, then it would be in your best interest to leave.

If they are not willing to change or they cannot change, you don’t have to feel sorry for them. You are in a relationship to be someone’s partner, not to be their babysitter or their SHRINK. If things don’t change, you know where the door is. Maybe you leaving will force them to realize it’s time to make some serious ADJUSTMENTS in their life.

3.) Deception

Although the media tries to make us believe LYING is normal for men and women, I know for a fact, it is not normal for a healthy relationship. The most important thing that needs to be in place in order to have a REAL, deep and meaningful relationship with someone else is TRUST. If you can’t tell someone the truth and are constantly finding ways to avoid being in trouble, or avoid confrontation, then you should reconsider what you are doing wrong.

If you can’t be yourself or you can’t do things you want to do because it will hurt the other person, maybe you should find someone else who will appreciate you for you or not be in a relationship at all. 

Note: I can't count the number of times I discovered lies upon lies upon lies that simply made me DIZZY from shock....and for someone like me who tries my best to be honest and appreciates honesty in return, no matter how painful it is. Out rightly, constantly lying to me is a MAJOR deal breaker, because I do not cut corners with TRUST. If I can't trust you then why torture myself to invest my heart and time with you. (Besides, I always eventually find out the truth, so what's the point).  If you are being lied to or you are constantly lying to someone else to maintain peace, it’s time to stop deceiving yourself and end your relationship. If you can’t be honest with yourself; there is no way you can be honest with anyone else. 

#4.) Cheating

Unless you have an AGREEMENT to both be in an open relationship, cheating is downright unacceptable (and for so many reasons including your sexual health, as well as multi physio-spiritual connections with multiple partners). It is possible to forgive someone for cheating and move on, usually if the situation was extremely complex and both parties contributed to it. Forgiveness may work ONLY if both parties are willing to make the necessary CHANGES and put the past behind them. It won’t be easy but it is possible. However, if the person is a habitual cheater who just wants to eat their cake and have it too, regardless of your feelings, then it’s time to walk out the door and have some RESPECT for yourself.

#5.) You’ve Grown Apart

This happens often. Over time, people just naturally begin to drift apart; interests change, goals change, and people begin to want to take a different path in life. If you are starting to feel this way towards your relationship, you MUST tell your partner the truth. It is unfair to keep dragging yourself and your partner along just because you are afraid to HURT someone’s feelings.

Note: Besides me being angry at first that my son and I were abandoned for a while.... and having enough time to think it through. I realised it was for the best, because my goals and the path I wanted for my life and child was totally different from the way my ex wanted to live his own life.  I had a career, dreams and goals ahead of me and most importantly I wanted to live in peace and tranquillity. And I needed to do the necessary to achieve that. 

People’s feelings will always get hurt, and it’s their problem, not yours, if they can’t ACCEPT the truth. You must be real with yourself and end the relationship, otherwise, you will build resentment towards your partner simply because you didn’t have it in yourself to do the right thing. If you are feeling GUILTY because you don’t feel the same anymore, then that is another sign that it’s probably time to walk away.

6.) Disrespect

This can come in many forms, but in this case I am referring to someone mistreating you through constant VERBAL attacks/abuse, mind games and degradation. If you’re in a relationship where your partner is the type to put you down, talk down to you, and make a fool of you, then it’s time to reconsider your relationship.

Note: Again, I grew up in a background where dialogue was pretty much used to solve many issues. If I did something wrong, my father would have a sit down with me and tell me in direct clear words that he was DISAPPOINTED in me. My parents never did the name calling, not to any of us and certainly not to themselves either. So to be married to a man who's favourite past time was to call you all forms of 'unprintable' names that crosses his mind, was not only a shocker but an uncomfortable experience. No one has the right to call you a BITCH, a WITCH, a LIAR, the DEVIL etc, unless ofcourse it's true that you are one....lol. But then again, where is the love? Your only move at this point is to put out an ULTIMATUM and demand they instantly stop this disrespectful behavior towards you or you will leave. If they don’t stop, then stop disrespecting yourself by dating someone like them, who's a sour mouth and thinks like a piece of TRASH. You deserve someone who will respect you and treat you well, and the only way to find someone who will, is to walk out that door.

#7.) Bad Communication

If you are in a relationship that has crappy communication, it will naturally fail on its own over time. Constant mis-communications will turn small issues into giant ARGUMENTS that could have been avoided, and eventually, will one day lead to a break up. If you can’t talk to your partner like they are your best friend, then you are really just in a SEXUAL relationship based on convenience rather than deep rapport.

Try to EXPRESS yourself to your partner and open up the connection. Unless you like someone who doesn’t talk much, then this isn’t a problem for you. But if you are looking for a DEEP, meaningful connection where you can SHARE everything that’s on your mind and have great conversations, I suggest you walk out that door, otherwise you will be forced out the door after lots of painful FRUSTRATION that stem from the inability to communicate your needs.

 #8.) It’s Unbalanced

If you find yourself in a relationship that is totally unbalanced in the favor of your partner, then you are not in a relationship, you are in a dictatorship. A healthy relationship is BALANCED and both partners play off each other; each contributing to the other at different times. There may be a time where you need to help your partner, and another time where they need to help you.

If you are treating them like ROYALTY while they leave you feeling like a tiny worthless piece in the equation, then it’s time for you to get moving baby. It may be hard for you to leave when you feel less appreciated, but that in itself should be enough to go out and get someone who will appreciate you more.

#9.) Ego Based

If you are in a relationship where you have realised that you somehow have let your ego fool you into dating someone you would never date, whether it’s because you’re lonely or to feed your EGO, then it’s definitely time to re-evaluate what the hell you are doing. Many times, someone will become the object of our 'desire' simply because they present a CHALLENGE of some sort to us.

We can easily fall victim to this ego trick, especially when we want to CONQUER what we think we can’t have and usually do or allow things we would never tolerate, in order to obtain them. This usually becomes infatuation and, in time, a complete disaster. If you’ve finally realised that you have gotten yourself STUCK with someone who you may have sacrificed your own STANDARDS to be with. You need to stop and realize that this person knows that you value them more than yourself, and will use that fact to MANIPULATE you. You may have already realised this to be true. The only way to regain yourself is to get the hell out.

10.) It’s Only Physical

Oh! this is the present situation with me and Tiger. We get it on, only when I mysteriously show up in the neck of his woods and can't make my way back home. His love has been nothing but the case of the booty call, as much as it hurts to say so. After so many years, I realise NOW, that the ingredient to defeat my FEAR of losing him is not by being strong, but by actually being REAL and telling myself the NAKED truth about the way things really are. 

If the only thing you have going in your relationship, is physical attraction and SEX, eventually it will come to an end. But if there are no problems and the sex is good, then you have to stop and consider where your partner STANDS regarding you. If your partner has more feelings than you and wants more, and you don't want the same, then the right thing to do is LEAVE them be.

If you are not a budding Actor featuring in your own relationship soap opera, then it it’s time to get the hell out of it. (I would know, right?) End of story. 

If you hate the drama, the inconsistency or the non-challance of your partner and you aren’t walking out of the door, the very sign that you are in for a long uncomfortable ride, then you have no right to blame anyone but yourself. 

Yes, love may not have grown enough in their heart but be thankful that at least it GREW well in yours and just teach yourself to love them from afar. Don’t make excuses for this person, just make moves straight for the door, if you can find the strength.

Now, I recognise that we are not all the same, nor are we all in the same exact situations, but we must be wise and careful about what we TOLERATE. I learned the hard way, that you teach people how BEST to love you by what you accept. If you accept bullshit, best be sure their love will be filled with nothing but BULLSHIT. We must learn the difference between FORGIVENESS and weakness. Me erroneously stating to Tiger in a moment of weakness that "Scheduled Sex was better than No Sex..." didn't surprise me that he laid the penis on me and fled into his usual seasonal silence.

But, I lied....Had he known it was a little test to see what he would do if he got what he wanted, would he not have checked up on me? The truth is I want "Soul Sex or No sex at all" and at this very instant, I'm waving goodbye to him with the failures of 2014.

So sometimes, the situation does present itself and people can choose how they want to handle their relationships. I have seen people get cheated on and actually become a stronger couple afterwards, but common sense should tell you, if your partner doesn’t stop doing you WRONG, and it causes your heart to bleed in pain, even if you love them, then it’s probably wise for you to turn your back and walk away. In the end, that choice is really up to you.

Do let me know what you decide dear. Xoxo. Alex.

NOTE: If You Like Today's Feedback Post, Don't Forget To Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot)

Got a Question? Feel Free To #AskAlexHere

Feel Free to also reserve your own 'Specially Autographed' copy of my upcoming book here "THE NAKED EXPERIENCE" and win two VIP tickets for you and a loved one to my Book Tour.

Have A Terrific Tuesday Lovelies! Kisses!!!!
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Monday, 22 December 2014

FEATURE: My Monday Man Crush - Jimi Agbaje

Yesterday, I was very excited to learn the great leader I have so much genuine ADMIRATION for was going to be on a talk show, that would be a breather away from the subjects of POLITICS (Ha! Yes, we know 2015 is around the corner. But there are also other important things happening in today's world aside which political party will win the ELECTIONS...I mean, like my dear friend who just got her heart broken, my so called 'Tokunbo marriage' saga, the price of fish and okazi in the market, and the fact that I'm now ready to leave Tiger behind with 2014....We all know 'unrequited' love is bullshit right?) Or don't you know? Hahahah. 

Anyway, I spread the gospel like wild fire amongst the #4NL nation and my contacts all over social media, counting down the hours and minutes....and sitting by my screen....How is it that I have become a JK Groupie? Lol. Well, if you care about the future and the welfare of your community, it's not difficult to see what others see and admire in him....Then again, the last time I felt this moved by any leader within the political sphere was during Barrack Obama's election in 2008. And I'm not sure I have cared that much up until now. In fact, I rarely watch Television these days....I'm usually somewhere else on the DIGITAL air space trying to create my online contents. Now, I even miss the soap operas and movies I feature in...its that bad. I just watch off the mouth of others and buy whatever appraisals or criticsms my friends, family and fans have for me. But yesterday, I made sure not to miss the #WalkTheTalk show because I wanted to watch the man who hopefully will become our next Governor of Lagos State in 2015, relax and shine through.....And he did, maybe not in the obvious of ways. But what I have learned recently about POWER is not always to enforce 'control' but to practice RESTRAINT....and seeing how well he let the hosts, Tabia Princewill, Helene Ibru, the super HILARIOUS Chioma (I'm sorry I didn't catch her last name, I was too busy laughing at her funny memes) and the very Eloquent Bobo Omotayo (hmm....let me save my lecherous comments about him for another day, you all know how I feel about intelligent men anyway). The fact that he allowed them own the room tells me a lot more about the kind of LEADER, Jimi Agbaje will be. 

The type who will not try to drag ATTENTION with the younger generation, the type who only SPEAKS when he has something to say, and let's others do the talking, when he has NOTHING to say. The type who feels extremely comfortable in the presence of young people and is not afraid to LEARN something new from them. The type who understands that yesterday's man and today's man should still have something in common, the ability to handle their RESPONSIBILITIES as men, irrespective of gender equality or the change in times. The type who deserves to lead the people because he has the temperament, charisma, intellect and the VISION it takes to EMPOWER, manage and enable young people to develop their wings and prosper. Watching him freely MINGLE without the self imposed aura most politicians carry around, tells pretty much, that Jimi Agbaje is certainly a credible man with no airs and a capable leader after my very HEART.....or what do you think Lovelies? Did you watch the show? Then, feel free to let me know what you think about my Monday Man Crush....

NOTE: If You Like Today's Feature, Don't Forget To Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot). 

You can also reserve your own 'Specially Autographed' copy of my upcoming book here "THE NAKED EXPERIENCE" and win two VIP tickets to the Book Tour.

Don't Forget to Register to become an Active Member of ALEX'S BLOG COMMUNITY (ABC) Forum and get instant access to the #ABC Book Club Webinars and win Special Giveaways.

Have A Magnificent Monday Lovelies! Kisses!!!
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Sunday, 21 December 2014

So I'm Not Perfect, Deal With It....

Last week, some JOURNALIST skewed a totally professional interview that was done 5 months ago, by mischievously SNEAKING in a few personal questions he never even asked me and making up his own answer to them on my behalf, there by 'misleading' the general public and ofcourse making me look DUMB like I don't even know how to answer simple questions....Why? I don't know....But, his answers didn't match the questions printed and oh, forget how SHALLOW it made me look, even I was repulsed and turned off, as I read the mysterious answers that were attached to my name....Chineke!!! Bia!!! That's not even the way I talk. At least, if there is anything people know about me, its that I have no issues communicating or at best ARTICULATING my thoughts. So reading about this confused dull-brained woman running all over the place with her scattered answers, PARADING to be me didn't sit right with me at all....Especially since it was an interview printed in a supposed reputable newspaper. Jeeeezzzzz!!!

Fast forward and a few days ago.... I get a ping from a friend who alerted me that I was TRENDING on the front page of a massive online forum and I kept wondering what I could have done this time, to warrant such unnecessary ATTENTION. (Now you know why I don't even go out to events) I stay quietly where I am and I end up courting the damned press....Chei!!! Well, I Google up myself and there it is "WHY MY MARRIAGE CRASHED - Alex Okoroji (Daughter of Chief Tony Okoroji, Ex Musician and Former PMAN President)". Ehen? Hian!!!!! Wait o! You would think after 8 years of trying to build my own name from SCRATCH in the Industry, without ever asking 'Daddy Dearest' to connect me to his associates or contacts, I would have earned my own IDENTITY without constantly living in my father's SHADOWS....Not that I hate being attached to a successful brand like him....But what's the point of struggling to find my own identity and do it all on my own, if every time I SNEEZE, I'm reported to be sneezing through his nostrils....Hahahah. (Anyway, this is subject for another day). Lol. 

So after receiving several calls and MESSAGES and me finally checking out some of these online forums, some of which house the biggest online BULLIES you can find and I couldn't help CRACKING up at some of the hilarious comments and criticism. Sometimes, it makes me wonder what people really want from me....actually from us, like celebrities aren't real human beings with real problems. I mean I am not PERFECT and I have quietly accepted that I failed somewhat in the marriage department (even though, if I hadn't failed, I wouldn't even be the woman I am today). So I decided to keep it real and share a post on facebook yesterday. I just realised now that it will be a big DISSERVICE to myself and to my NAKED journey, if I don't share it HERE, in the one place I feel comfortable baring my thoughts and airing my sometimes DIRTY Laundry (if you know what I mean).... So to kill 2 two birds with a stone. Please read my Rant and Rave post/ facebook post below....
"Okay, I'm not usually the one to make comments about stories or media reports about me....But just for the sake of those who've been calling and sending me private messages here, on BBM and Whatsapp telling me I'm trending. I'm grateful to the journalist who tried to trend me on blog forums all over the internet

1) First things first....I never granted such silly interview, neither did I imply that crap anywhere. 

2) I would never compare a failed/broken marriage to the engine of a tokunbo car....Hahahah. My sense of humour isn't that slapstick and I'm certainly not that shallow minded. (Besides I own a tokunbo, so save the insults).

3) I didn't just get separated, so I do not understand what the hula-bula is all about....Infact 3 days ago was my ex husband's one year wedding anniversary and he's expecting a baby with his new wife (Here's me sending my best wishes to them). What does it tell you all? We've both moved on....And I'm gleefully grateful. (So don't feel sorry for me).

4) I never once complained about a temper (that's not even a good reason to leave a marriage....i have one too) So please spare me all the lectures . I know patience is a virtue. I even have my own personalised #AlexDailyBoost quote on that.

5) If I am a divorcee. Its certainly not because 'Celebrities' can't keep their marriages or because I don't have personal values or I'm lazy (My parents have been together for 39 years, married for 31 years, I'm a big product of that balance and I need not prove how well cultured I am....trying to insinuate I'm not is an insult to them and I won't tolerate that. Besides i am big on commitment) so save passing silly judgements about people you know nothing about their private lives. The institution of marriage is way more complex than any of our brilliant minds can fathom. Do I poke my nose in your own business? No! 

6) So do I wanna throw punches? No! Am I bitter about this? No...I actually found it comical for a while until the out pour of #concernednigerians... and I really don't want to dwell on the lazy journalist who's aim to draw blog traffic is to tag real people with 'distorted illusions'.

7) Maybe I don't pray enough, maybe I'm not spiritual enough....Well, how do you know that? Are you my God? Exactly?!!! If I'm still alive and healthy, then obviously, God's grace is sufficient for me. (So save the preaching about divorce and hell) My romance with God is between him and I and beyond your understanding. If you knew anything, you'll be thanking him for lifting me from where I 'was' to where I 'am'.

8) I have spent the last year and half on a self discovery. And I have grown from my experiences, both good and bad. I have no regrets, only lessons. So Whatever you thought you knew about me is irrelevant right now.....I was who I was....And now, I am who I am....And Believe me, between this two people, I am so comfortable with them both. I'm presently concentrating on building myself, my brand and adding real tangible value to the lives of others with my talent. 

If what you have to share with me today, won't add value to my life tomorrow. I make no apologies for cutting you off right now because my attention span for bullshit is fast waning.

If you feel the need to celebrate me, then by all means....feel free to celebrate all of the amazing creative contributions I've been making. 

Have A Sweet Saturday Lovelies! Xoxo. Muaaah!!!"

And there you have it! Sometimes we need to take the GOSSIP we read with a pinch of salt....and if we choose to buy it, then at least cut the people some slack. We ALL have our baggages.  And there's no fun in mischievously MAGNIFYING someone's personal issues just to ENTERTAIN the insatiable appetite of rumour lovers. So I beg those of you celebrating trash news I did not endorse, Yes, I am not perfect, I know that.... I have accepted that FACT and I'm cool with that failure, but it's time for you, Now to deal with it...Hehehe....Or what do you all think Lovelies? Feel free to share your thoughts with me.

NOTE : If You Like Today's Post, Feel Free To Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot).

And Don't Forget To Register And Become A Member of ALEX'S BLOG COMMUNITY (ABC) to Share Your Own Related Posts To Interact With Other Interesting People and Win Special Giveaways.

Have A Soulful Sunday Lovelies! Kisses!!!
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Tuesday, 16 December 2014

I Am A Mean Girl

I have been one of the MEAN girls and I realise it now, as I stroll into a grocery store....Yes, to get Ray some Chocolate and Drinks....(mummy, I want chocolate....mummy, I want pizza, mummy, buy me cake, ice cream pweeeaseeee) Its always a sing SONG like that....And Believe me, the daily repeat was enough to top Rihanna at the Billboard Charts. Ray knows what he wants and Ray usually sets out to get it by hook or crook. I know....(I'm just a sucker for his cute little smile and his sneaky way). Hahahah.

So I'm standing there paying the shop attendant, when some CHUBBY guy with some streak of grey in his hair walks in. I mean, I recognised his face instantly, despite the smithereens of GRAY and obvious weight gain that greeted his middle region (either he's a fan of beer, his wife has been stuffing him with pounded yam or his METABOLISM isn't just friendly) I'm struggling to get my eyes away from the 'fanny pack' wrapped around his waist (it was weird watching it jiggle up and down a man's gut....and I don't mean a hot dude with wash board for abs, abeg.... very weird). Anyway,  I'm here SECRETLY thanking God, I had some some common sense and the nerve to turn down this 'Nna Bros' from 9/10 years ago. I remember him stalking me every chance he got. I received text messages, emails, calls, gifts, spooky visits and I remember avoiding church so I don't have to see his face waiting for me at the parking lot. Yep! It was that bad. He used to chase me all around church (not that I was a regular visitor, but Sundays weren't fun anymore), let's not add showing up at the family house unannounced....Yes, the brother was looking for a wifey and somehow thought me, the 'sisteren' was a perfect candidate for him. Ha!!!! No o!!! How na?Mba nu!! Me Ke? Lai Lai o. 

I remember him making a CD collection of LOVE songs he probably thought will IMPRESS me, maybe even influence me (I gotta admit, I first heard that beautiful collaboration between Babyface and Kevin Edmonds "A girl like you" knocked me off my socks)...Err, not enough to fall for the guy but at least enough to realise Baby face was a musical genius of sort.... And he made 2 more SPECIAL compilations for me, a noble and uniquely sweet gesture I would normally gravitate towards, except he was acting like there was some SPELL about to be cast upon me and I will suddenly travel to the EAST and tell the people of 'Umahia' that he was the one....Hahahah. I'm not even laughing at the thought, I'm just amazed at how people generally aim beyond their STANDARDS even though they are unwilling to meet the requirements. 

He did have a little MONEY at the time and I have to confess that I didn't say no to his unending gifts....but the more gifts I collected, the bigger my no and I guess he just didn't realise that I just wasn't the type who could be BOUGHT (Okay, even I didn't realise it myself). Lol.

So he's standing here with his wedding band in FINGER (praise God) and asking me about work and my family (note that by family he's referring to my fictitious husband and kids....i'm not even about to dissuade him). "Wow is this really you? (No it's not really me....its my twin ghost, hehehe....stupid question people ask these days though)....The only time I see you, Alexandra is on TV, when I watch your soaps and movies. (Err...yeah, how do I respond to this one....I'm almost about to yell, no its not really me. it's the other twin, remember I'm a ghost. And that A-L-E-X-A-N-D-R-A, it's my name yeah, I know.... but I don't know why I feel when people who know me well pronounce my full name, it's just too much of an effort at sounding DISTINGUISHED. Isn't 'Alex' just way easier to pronounce? Shior!!!) 

"How's work going? How's your family and children? How many kids do you have now?" (A football field, I BIRTH them every spring....*tongue out). Then I decide to act my age a little and replied. "Actually, I have just one dear" thinking he will KNOCK it off and we will exchange goodbyes. "Wow! Just one? Why na? You need more o" (Hian! Biko nu....when did having just one child become a 'wow' instance and how is he able to determine that I need more kids ehn?)....When I'm up to my neck JUGGLING Ray and work. 

So he says, "What's your husband doing about it na? If I was your man, I will be pumping you with belle everyday" and laughed sheepishly at his tasteless JOKE. Ehn, what did he just say? Did this 'rotund-motor-mouth' just create a sexual scenario between both of us? Ha! My sense of humour is out of the window....(in ya wildest dream mate...twaaaa) so I looked at him, TEMPTED to tell him there was no husband, that I was now a single mother....instead my evil CLAWS came out for his blood and so I replied "Thank God, you are not my husband cos if I was your wife, I'll be stocking your mouth with a pair of smelly socks everyday...." and I walked away, the 'mean girl strut'....of course, right after flashing him my brightest sweetest smile and a tiny pat on his shoulder. #wink.

Do you think I was mean Lovelies? Let me know how you will you act, if you meet an obsessed stalker from the past? Feel free to share your thoughts. 

NOTE: If You Like Today's 'Random Musing', Don't Forget To Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot).

Feel free to Join ALEX'S BLOG COMMUNITY (forum) for more discussions there...And also tune in to LISTEN live to my online radio show tomorrow, Wednesday 2pm (WAT)| 3pm (CAT)| 8am (EST) on my BlogTalkRadio Channel. I'll be talking about SEX with the sexy controversial entertainer, nudist and goddess of sex, MAHEEDA, you don't wanna miss it. You can always catch the PODCAST, if you miss the live show. 

You can also pre-order your own 'Specially Autographed' copy of my upcoming book here "THE NAKED EXPERIENCE" and win two VIP tickets for you and a loved one to my Book Tour.

Have A Terrific Tuesday Lovelies! Kisses!!!
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Wednesday, 10 December 2014

Yaaay! Its Going Live Today....

Hey Fam.....Yaaay!!!! Its Today...Finally... Where are your glasses people? Let's cling to some new achievements. Yes, we are going to be on air today....Yipeee!!!!

You are Specially Invited to the LIVE World Premiere of my online radio show, "THE NAKED TALK with Alex Okoroji". 

Please join me TODAY @ 2pm (WAT)| 3pm (CAT)| 8am (EST) on my radio channel www.blogtalkradio.com/thenakedtalk 

1) You can listen to my show wherever you are in the world, over the Internet on your mobile phones, computers et all, or through skype or by dialling my LISTENER'S number +1(215) 383-3766 directly from your phone to listen or to contribute to the show or speak with my Guests.

2) You can also tweet @AlexOkoroji with #TheNakedTalk to interact with me and send your contributions to the live show.

3) Follow my channel on BlogTalkRadio to use the live chat room to send me live messages on the show and interact with other listeners.

4) I have 2 'Amazing Special' Guests (A famous Nigerian Actor and A Creative Entrepenuer/Philantropist on the show today, please tune in to LISTEN to them strip themselves naked.....

5) I'm doing Special Christmas Giveaways for the first 15 callers on the show.

PODCAST of the live show will be available on my Blog, Stitcher and ITunes for downloads.

It's UNCUT | UNFILTERED | UNSCRIPTED and you certainly don't wanna miss it. 

I love you for listening....


Don't forget to let me know what you think about the show on A(lex's) B(log) C(ommunity) (ABC) Forum....

Enjoy A Wonderful Wednesday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Monday, 8 December 2014

#AskAlex : I'm A Sex Starved Wife, Should I Cheat On My Husband?

Dear Alex, I love the advice you gave Sola on her man. It was so on point. I would actually love you to talk more on sex between married couples. Some men leave their wives sexually starved for long periods, say like 6-8 months. Even up to a year at times, and they expect such a woman to be a super woman, make an oath of celibacy while they keep having some fun outside. In a situation like these, what should these women do when they're even more under pressure. 95% of marriages now are going through this difficult phase and women can't take it no more, because to me, what is good for the goose is also good for the gander....thanks love. Mrs T.

Hello Mrs T, thank you for appreciating my contributions and seeking my unfiltered opinions. I'm really sad that any woman or wife should have to go through such neglect from a man that is supposed to love her, body and soul. And though I will never encourage anyone in a relationship whether male or female to cheat on their spouse/partner (because once again I know how it feels to be neglected or be the one constantly trying) Still, I will tell it as I see it.

I keep talking about love, not because we don't hear enough people swear by LOVE daily, but because it has been so used and abused....so much so that most marriages are actually 'subconsciously' founded on either LUST or mere CONVENIENCE and one day either of these two sources will fade or just get tedious. The relationship you have will become lack lustre and it will no longer be a convenient ride (and even that happens within some healthy loving relationship).

I remember when I was pregnant with Ray and my ex-husband was away for months, and I was stuck with a growing belly, mood swings, crazy hormones, no manly support and my freaky horny self. What was I suppose to do? My mother and the Ante-natal Matron had warned me that I needed to be engaged in sex to have a normal birth and help ease my baby out during delivery. And what was supposed to be a month trip turned into 6 months. Imagine a preggy first time mother by herself for 6 months and horny as FUCK....and I couldn't stray, actually chose not to (because I could have....and to be honest I did think about it several times, because I was still a very attractive woman in the first 7 months of my pregnancy) and let's just say some men are crazy like that. A horny pregnant woman ranks high in the FANTASY department. Hahahah. But what did I do, I settled for Masturbating myself (whenever my tiny fingers could miraculously find its way under my fat protruding belly) and I honestly didn't have the brevity to wiggle my fat belly into a shop and get myself a vibrator (but the electric tooth brush I invested in, did some good) but probably changed my already shaky relationship forever. 

Does your man love you? Well, the answer isn't rocket science, it's rather SIMPLE, (remember what I wrote about love not hiding) No one is ever too busy for the person they care about. No one neglects or ignores the person they love, no matter how busy or angry or tired they are. If you love someone, that person automatically becomes a PRIORITY. Now when a woman loses the priority position in her man's life, it might be safe to say you are no longer of VALUE to him....and that means, you are no longer important because your partner is either losing feelings or is mentally invested in other things he considers to be more important than you presently. And that must make you feel like crap.

But honestly, can you imagine your partner staying away from his favourite car for 6 or 8 months and decide to trek miles to work? Can you imagine him staying away from his mobile phone for 6 or 8 months or even a year when he values the importance of having one? Do you really see him going 6 or 8 months without drinking water? My point? Well, sex in a loving relationship is pretty much like WATER to plants. It helps to foster bonding, understanding, communication and growth between a couple.

So no matter the excuses made, no one stays disconnected from those they care about.... because SEX is the most important way for married couples to physically communicate their love and stay bonded. (Even the Bible talks about the man and woman leaving their families to become one body and one soul) And honestly speaking the only place I see that a man and woman can realistically become one body and even one soul is only during the act of SEX because their needs, purpose and actions during sex are in interloped and intertwined in unison.

So what do you do if you aren't getting some?

#1) Get A Sex Toy

A Woman has needs and let's be honest, she also has the same blood that runs through a man's veins, high libido, wanton or not. But more important is the feeling of rejection and sexual abandonment or starvation that irks. So rather than wear the SEX STARVED WIFE logo in colourful pink fonts on your forehead or ngage in a sexual liaison outside your relationship, perhaps it might be wise to invest in a dildo, a bullet or a vibrator in the right specification and colour you want. The right toy will give you some sense of control over your sex life and while that may not compare to the actual warmth of your partner. You really aren't going months without hitting the big Orgasm....and your husband might find the "New Mr Fix It" a complete turn on or a serious competition he needs to take out. Lol. 

#2) Have The Naked Talk

You probably haven't tried talking to him or maybe you have and you've grown tired of always being the one to initiate, always being the one who cares more about bonding. The fights have become overwhelming. The loneliness is killing you. And he simply doesn't get it. Or worse yet, you wonder, Does he get it? Is he doing this to punish me? You ask yourself, What's wrong with me? Am I not attractive or sexy enough? Or is he cheating with another woman? Aha! I know right....Kai!!! How did you find the one man in the world who would prefer doing just about anything other than making love to you? Believe me, you are not alone and the double standards don't help. Still you have to have that "straight-up-no-bullshitting" conversation. I mean, how is he coping without sex or is he really living without sex? You have to know and to know that, you need to ask him nicely but firmly.

#3) Pray For Patience And Grab It

Now the experts, will tell you that many men lose interest in sex for the same reason many women do: unresolved feelings of anger, resentment, and hurt that make the idea of making love not very appealing. (Now while that could be true in some cases, we women have instincts and we know the difference between a man who's simply not interested in sex and a man who's just not interested in 'sex with us'....And a man who's not interested in sex with his partner is hands down getting sex from somewhere else. Now knowing that your man has no qualms risking or jeopardising your relationship that way, can hurt really bad and trigger you to act irrationally, but pray for PATIENCE before you break that bottle on his head. Lol. Remember he expects you to act the monster wife, so don't. (it's hard but don't....). Don't because, we always think fighting in a relationship means we are fighting for the relationship. (but I learned the hard way, it's a set up. Stay calm, don't fall for it). Just give him the opposite of love....and no its not hate. Its INDIFFERENCE or something similar to the SEESAW EFFECT. 

I read about the 'seesaw effect' and I think it makes sense trying it. Here's  a fact: The more you do a certain task or act a certain way, the less your husband will do it, and vice versa. This seesaw effect applies to all areas of relationships. For example, if your husband handles every aspect of finances in your family, chances are that you rarely think about money. If you are the EMOTIONAL one in your relationship, it's likely that your husband keeps his feelings to himself. We tend to 'counterbalance' one another. It's just human nature.

Now, In many relationships, couples start out on equal footing when it comes to sexual DESIRE (as in eh....you both are SPRUNG and can't take your damn hands of each other). Then one person becomes tired, overwhelmed, preoccupied, or busy. This new behaviour prompts his or her partner to double up efforts to keep their sex life on track. When those efforts are met with REJECTION, all of a sudden sex becomes the centre of the universe for the sex-starved partner. And the more the sex-starved partner shines a LIGHT on sex, the less sex the lower-desire spouse wants.(And that's what happened in my case when my husband eventually showed up after 6 months of neglect. I didn't need him anymore....what for? I had my able electric toothbrush and I certainly wasn't interested in sex with him or any man for that matter....and the fact that he kept wanting to try every second coupled with prey mood swings, INFURIATED me and pissed me the hell off. I mean, how did he think I survived for 6 months. it's not like my coochie is on a working rooster, blurp!!!). Hahahah.

If you're the only one putting energy into rekindling your sex life, your husband has come to expect that. He knows you'll take the lead. If you want him to be more involved sexually, you need to EXPERIMENT with stepping back and letting him notice you're not pursuing him. This technique helps you break out of your rut by giving him a chance to pursue you instead without feeling pressured.

#4) Leave, if it's broken....

I know some people would go for my jugular but wait a minute, rather than cheat on your husband, leave the relationship if you have tried every thing from switching things up, being spontaneous, SEXY and spicy or even just subtle flirtatious hints. Here's what I know....Every marriage can work for the same reasons it won't work. Its all up to you to decide how you see your relationship and if your partner is  WORTH the pain and sacrifices you have to make or if he's even willing to really work at it. Its that simple. Some say if it's broken, fix it....but I have just learned not to bother trying to put the pieces back, because there is always going to be a CRACK from a missing piece. And your heart will get broken some more. And you don't want to live an unfulfilled, unhappy life because you are with someone who honestly doesn't respect your needs or value you enough to make reasonable CHOICES that encourage your happiness. 

What really is the sense in being with someone simply because SOCIETY will judge you, when society isn't the one who lives your pain or goes to bed every night lonely from the tears of heartache? The only extra benefit you don't get from having a great male friend who listens to you, supports you, prays with you, adores you and maybe even helps you financially or creatively, is the EXCLUSIVE sex you reserve only for your man. So sex is as important to woman as it is to a man in any relationship. Now what's left of the relationship if he takes away the one thing that places him a little ahead of your platonic friends? Exactly! And riding a bicycle on a flat tyre and hoping it will still take you to your destination is pure foolery to me. Besides, It might take him having to lose you to REALISE that he needs to step up to his responsibility. But then again, that's just my opinion. You can check out www.sexstarvedwife.com for more professional help. And let me know how things go with the hubby. Xoxo.

What do you think Lovelies? How about I throw this out in the open and get your contributions. I bet Mrs T is itching to read your thoughts and so am I.

NOTE: Don't forget to follow and Tune in on Wednesday 10th, Dec 2014 @ 2pm (WAT)| 3pm (CAT)| 8am (EST) And join me and my special guests at The LIVE Official World Premiere of My Online Talk Radio Show "THE NAKED TALK with Alex Okoroji" and discuss some real candid issues.

You can also pre-order your own 'Specially Autographed' Copy of my upcoming book here "THE NAKED EXPERIENCE" and win two VIP tickets for you and a loved one to my Book Tour.

If You Liked Today's Feedback Post, Don't Forget To Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot). Got A Question? Feel Free To #AskAlexHere

Have A Magnificent Monday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Saturday, 6 December 2014

Don't Believe The Lies They Tell

"Don't ever believe the LIES people tell you about yourself. For so long, I did things for other people's approval and VALIDATION....I would break my back, twist my ankle and even try to back flip my way into acceptance....and guess what I would trip and fall flat on my face....because the mean girls club don't fratenise with the good girls and the hot men's club don't want no TIMID girl.

So the silly wonkers for who I was bursting my butt to fit in, would sit in the corner laughing behind me. Why? They were so sure I will never push beyond my LIMITATIONS, because my limitations were reality founded on the boundaries, that they themselves had set for me, and I had mentally held the lock, padlocked my DESTINY and threw away the freaking keys. Yet they will go home in celebration because they were in control. In control of letting me believe that i was not good enough, good maybe....but certainly NOT 'enough'. And If I ever tried to push past the timid girl ILLUSION of psychological bondage and scored a little point in my heels, the congratulations were as cold as a dry patched PUSSY, because the truth is, they may want to see you do good, but they certainly don't want to see you do BETTER than them.

Yes! I must have tried to be dark skinned one time, (I mean Tiger had a huge thing for dark skinned women) and since I could not ask God for extra inches in the height department, I knew there was no chance in heaven I could even dwarf Naomi Campbell.... So I picked the one thing I had  control over....while my contemporaries were trying to get fairer complexion, and increase their chances of getting cast for movies because the light skinned women were the 'flavours of the month', .....I was just working on getting darker (not because I was compelled to, but the only thing my immature mind understood was that to be loved and appreciated, I needed to transform myself into what others wanted of me or expected of me even at the expense of losing myself. I even remember one time, Annie Macaulay asked me on set of the movie, "Heroes Bride"...."Hey Gurl! Why are you getting darker Alex?" Ah! it certainly wasn't because I couldn't afford a jar of lotion. I simply was trying to fit into a man's ideal even if I ended up like a box of charcoal....I wanted to be PERFECT even though there's no such thing as perfect, because even those for whom I tried to change myself, they are not perfect themselves or who am I bullshitting? Despite taking two classes everyday, Aerobics in the morning and Pilates in the evening, just to keep fit, I still wasn't as skinny as he preferred and I honestly knew nothing about kicking a man to the CURB where he can kiss my fat-awesome-ass goodbye. Instead I felt pressured, overwhelmed and insecure and in turn acted irrationally most times. Sweet corn and tuna fish for lunch, tummy rumbling for some cool carbohydrate brunch....but I needed to stay sweet for the cool bros. I must have mingled a little in the same DIRTY pond, truth or dare. Truth or dare, would you kiss the girl? Damn! Don't ever give me a challenge, that has me tongue tied and tasting of cherry chapsticks, you dig? I never stand down even if It doesn't feel right. Ask Katy Perry what she did.

Rolling in the skin wrapped around confusion, It was nothing short of me pretending to be someone I really wasn't. Scared of standing out STRAIGHT like an arrow or even letting my weaknesses peak out for fear that no one would really love the REAL me. But while I struggled to cover my multitude of shame down experience lane,  I found a crack that tore down the wall which wrapped me up in unfounded WISDOM, I stripped the lies and found my beautiful NAKED self unleashed from self suffocation and liberated in to gorgeous glory. And there came a whiff of fresh air. Alas! FREEDOM! Away from the lies and into a presence of mind. I have long since past caring to IMPRESS anyone. Because the people I need, the ones I want and those I eventually get, were always completely different people. And I myself, now am different too....why? because I am now a woman who has MASTERED her own mind. And while it seems pretty normal to use my past experience to hold me back. I decided to use my experiences to push myself forward....and that's how I broke the handcuffs and WON. I conquered immaturity, I stepped beyond my limitations and Metamorphosised from Girl to Woman....So if they tell you that you can't do it....That's a lie they want your timid mind to BELIEVE. Don't do it....Don't believe them...."
culled from 'Chapter 5: Metamorphosis From Girl To Woman' in my upcoming book "THE NAKED EXPERIENCE".

NOTE: If You Enjoyed Today's Post, Then Don't Forget To Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot).

You can also reserve your own 'Specially Autographed' copy of my book HERE at my blog store NOW and win two VIP tickets for you and a loved one to my Book Tour.
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Tuesday, 2 December 2014

Let's Make Moves Now

I know I'm playing a little MIA, what with editing the final portion of "THE NAKED EXPERIENCE" and prepping for the LIVE Premiere of "THE NAKED TALK with Alex Okoroji". It has somewhat consumed my time and I haven't been able to share much of my thoughts here with you all. Here's my sincere apology to all those who've sent me their questions for #AskAlex, I promise I would get to them, one after another and try my best to share my honest thoughts with you. 

I'm thankful you all understand that I'm out and about, acting upon my dreams. Remember that it's not okay to just dream, you must also ACT upon it....because only A(ction) C(hanges) T(hings). So let's move, get it and end the year with a loud bang. Hahahah.

Don't forget to visit www.blogtalkradio.com/thenakedtalk to set a reminder for my LIVE show and reserve your 'Specially Autographed copy of my upcoming book by clicking any of the book banners.

Happy New Month Lovelies! Enjoy The Rest Of Your Tuesday. Kisses!
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Saturday, 29 November 2014

UPDATE : We Are On Radio Baby

Hey Lovelies! How are you doing? It's been a crazy week for me trying to tie up lose ends....and oh! keep my brain buzzing. I wanted to do a THANKSGIVING POST and collectively thank all you loyal ABC Sweetkins, the awesome friends and acquaintances who have made my year somewhat eventful despite the many challenges. All In all I still feel like a WINNER because I challenged myself beyond my imagination.  I started this year without a blog and now look where I am....with a blog, an upcoming book and a radio show....Yes, I said it....a RADIO SHOW dammit!!! Hahahah.

"I realise that 'ACTION' is what separates the Heroes from the Cowards, the Achievers from the Complainers, and the Successful from the mere Dreamers. Well, because of this, I choose to ACT" - #AlexDailyBoost

Finally it's 10 days to go to the LIVE premiere of my online Interactive Talk Radio Show "THE NAKED TALK with Alex Okoroji" on Wednesday, Dec 10, 2014 at 2pm (WAT), 3pm (CAT), 8am (EST) . The number for LISTENERS to 'call in' on my show directly or through skype is +1 (215) 383-3766. So please save it and and lock down the date/time on your calendar. You can follow the show on BlogTalkRadio. Its UNCUT| UNFILTERED| UNSCRIPTED| and downright unapologetic (you know me na) hahahah. 

Believe me, You don't want to miss it.  Podcasts of the live show will be available here on my blog ALEXANDRA N' HER NAKED THOUGHTS and also available for download on ITunes. Let's do this Lovelies! Don't forget to tell a friend to tell a friend to tell their frienemies.....Or what do you think? Hahahah. I need you all to come through for me....And oh! I love you all for listening. Muaaah!!! 

NOTE: If You Like Today's Update, Don't Forget To Share It With Those You Love Or Even Like A Lot.

You can also pre-order your own 'Specially Autographed' copy of my upcoming book here "THE NAKED EXPERIENCE" and win two VIP tickets to my Book Tour.

Have A Sensational Saturday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Wednesday, 26 November 2014

Things To Expect When You Date A Woman Like Me

I've tried DATING a few times. Let's be honest, as much as I'm sweet to be around....I'm not exactly the easiest kind of woman to UNDERSTAND at first....Why? My head is pretty much on my shoulder, I know what I want and where I'm going in life, and I clearly don't suffer fools. I've loved and I've lost, but that clearly isn't what is holding me back. The truth is, I've been way independent and SINGLE for far too long, that I have survived without someone else breathing down my neck and imposing themselves in my space or making my decisions for me. In fact I might even have a little OCD and I try not to FREAK out from seeing disorder and mess in my own space. Lol. I've become a paradox that even I try to fathom. Yes, I'm Sensitive and Emotional yet I don't 'love' loudly. I'm extremely Confident, yet quite SHY. Very Open and revealing, yet PRIVATE, secretive and sometimes lucid. Very attentive yet often times just ALOOF, I love being around people but I also like my own space, I write like a potty mouth but will never be caught dead speaking inappropriately in person....Confusing right?

Yes. I'm sort of an 'Enigma' and that will scare the SHIT out of any simpleton. My needs have changed. So much so I'm not even sure if I remember how to date and if I also have to worry about babysitting a grown ass man (Hahahah). So many men have asked what they need to do to get through to me, I tell them to be PERSISTENT and CONSISTENT (I mean if you are persistent, you'll the get the woman.... if you are consistent, you'll keep her) Exactly!!! But even keeping a woman like me, takes a lot of work right? Well, I'm sure I'm not the only COMPLEX woman on the planet....I found some interesting points at thoughtscatalog.com, so permit me to share a few 'things to expect when you date a strong independent woman like me....'


#1). Expect her to do her own thing often and without letting you know, at least at first. It’s not that you don’t matter; it’s just that she’s learned to love doing what she wants, when she wants, and without asking permission or informing anyone.

#2). She’ll probably want to take things slowly because she’ll not be used to all the attention. Don’t think she doesn’t like you enough, she probably likes you a lot; it’s just all new to her.  

#3). Expect her friends to be overprotective of her and to be suspicious of you at first. They’re not used to her being with someone and they’ll want to make sure you’re the kind of guy who will treat her well.

#4). She’ll have a hard time letting you do things for her. Try not to take this personally. She’s just used to taking care of herself and it’ll be hard for her to live in a world where she’s got someone else looking out for her in that way.

#5). Expect her to be stubborn, to always want things her way, and to fight you when she doesn’t get it. Don’t always give in to her, but do let her win sometimes.

#6). She needs to be left alone often especially when you first start seeing each other and it should feel like she’s head over heels. Believe that she has more butterflies in her stomach than she knows what to do with, which is why she’ll need to compose herself.

#7). Expect her to pull away from you, especially when she realizes how much she likes you. She’ll come back to you but she’ll need time to think her feelings through.

#8). She’ll question you, sometimes directly, sometimes implicitly, about your feelings for her. She’ll always want to know if they are real or if she’s making things up in her head.

#9). Expect her to be headstrong. She’ll tell you, “I’ve got this,” more than you’ll want to hear. But she’ll get used to your offers to help. And in time she’ll know how to let go of the tight grip she seems to have on everything. 

#10). She’ll be guarded, and she won’t be keen on letting you in. She’s waiting to see if you’re patient, she’s waiting to see if you’re worth it. She’s hoping that you’re worth it.

#11). Expect her to be stingy with trust, to only give a little bit at a time. But every time she gives you a little, it’ll feel like a big step for her. Cherish these big steps.

#12). She’ll come across as strong, maybe too strong for you at first. But don’t be intimidated, this is her outer shell. And when you get to know her, you’ll know she’s strong but soft; tough but kind.

#13). Expect her to be reserved, at least about the things that matter. Until you really get to know her. And then you’ll see the untamed, raw, and always beautiful open version of her that she’ll let you fully discover.

#14). She’ll be slow with her vulnerabilities, and hide many of her weaknesses. And when she shows you them, she’ll feel naked. Clothe her with your words.

#15). Expect her not to need you, and not to believe in needing much of anything at all. But she’ll want you. And when she does, it’ll be the most exhilarating feeling you’ve ever experienced.

#16). She’ll be scared – scared to be hurt, scared to love, and be loved. Scared that you’ll eventually hurt her or leave her and if and when that happens, she won’t know who she was before.

#17). Being alone is her default, it’s her comfort zone. But expect her to fall in love with you faster than she’ll admit and in a way that isn’t loud but still powerful; it’ll be like a little bit of heaven. And it won’t matter if you love her for a while or for a lifetime; her love will change both you and her forever.



So what you do think Lovelies? Do you feel like any of these point directly at you or your love interest/partner? Let me know your naked thoughts....

NOTE: If You Like Today's Love And Naked Reality Post, Don't Forget To Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot.

You can also pre-order your own 'Specially Autographed' copy of my upcoming book here "THE NAKED EXPERIENCE" and win two VIP tickets for you and a loved one to my Book Tour.

Have A Wonderful Wednesday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Buried Between My Thighs....

So my phone RANG and i peered at the strange number on my screen. And deciding to click the answer button, I heard a familiar soft baritone....."Hey baby, it's been a while, it's Matthew" Holy fuck, I stare again at the number....Hell no, it can't be him....he is far away in London, smacking up the coolest joints and WOMEN he can find....yes, he was cool like that and all the women wanted a piece of him (not that I blame them), after all he's the absolute McDreamy....and that used to scare me shitless....The REALITY that I wasn't that much different from all the other women....the thought that my supposed 'superior mind' wanted the exact same thing the average VAIN and obtuse bimbo wanted....A man candy with PERSONALITY and a 9 inches jack hammer. (Yes, I like my men steamy hot, well endowed and available....but I also want them to be EXCLUSIVE....or do I?)

I think he sensed my doubts and replied "This is not a prank Alex. it's really me. I'm back in Nigeria baby....How are you?". Now my heart starts racing....okay, apart from the little SPRINT my heart did when I finally figured out a name for my upcoming book, the last time my heart did the MARATHON, my legs were actually quivering around his own waist as I straddled him with pure unbridled ECSTASY. Ah! right! When I think of Matthew, the carnal imagery is pretty much his NAKED body next to mine, communicating things I never knew, I never knew.....Oh dang! If only you all really knew. Hahahah.

Anyway, I replied coolly "Oh wow, welcome back Matthew...." (Even though I was giddy with excitement, i'm really not the type to love loudly). I don't always wear my HEART on my sleeve and it's pretty easy for most people to assume I do not care...."Hey Baby, what's wrong? Aren't you excited to hear from me?" he said....I'm TEMPTED to hunt him down and use my stilettos on his head of curly hair or I might as well slap him around with my breasts (if I'm able to somewhat convince myself I could easily push around a manly man of 6 feet plus), then again his reflexes are pretty good.... I might erroneously find my NIPPLE trapped in his mouth....and we wouldn't want that sort of DISTRACTION now, would we? I try not to chuckle at my ever cryptic imagination and FOCUS on my momentary anger....Ehen! There it is ...."Matthew, I haven't heard from you in more than a year....Am I supposed to throw down a party?" (Actually I did want to throw a party, and shimi all the way from Iyana Ipaja to Queens drive....The Alleluyah shimi....Don't you know it? (Hands TWISTED in the air and waving it like I just don't care) Lol. 

Matthew was a member of the Elite society....he wasn't just an ordinary good looking chap) He was a society man, an accomplished, highly RESPECTED and sort after power broker, let's not add a powerful dresser to the mix....an exquisite celebrity with an intense mind.... but it wasn't always the beauty of seeing him decked out in the finest clothes, I admired. I liked him better dressed NAKED, completely nude, no barrier between us....just his velvety soft VANILLA skin tempting my patience as I run my hands all over his body and watch him wrestle the CHILLS I send his way with my fingers. I loved that about him....He was EXPRESSIVE and pretty much the only man who was willing to let me have some form of control in the bedroom, and was willing to try just about anything with me. There were no routines, no boundaries, no hang ups and certainly no JUDGEMENT....Every time was different. Standing feet on the floor, his back to the wall, my tummy on the bed, ass in the air.... legs behind his head, naked, 69,  eagle SPREAD....and no point was he ever disconnected. What the hell! I turn purple....

"C'mon Alex, you didn't want to see me remember, you told me to stay away from you, to give you and Mr lover-man a chance....What's his name again, the Actor?" OMG, his words breaking my reverie.... I knew he was talking about Tiger (not his real name) but I wasn't about to offer Matthew his name and give him a chance to prod further....and I certainly wasn't about to think of the fact that I actually SACRIFICED my chance to really be with him, for a man, who up till this moment hasn't understood the depth of the things I had to sacrifice for him....But this isn't about Tiger, don't even want to think about him....This is about the only man I have actually experienced complete SOUL SEX with and he just performed his re-appearing act....almost as if he could read my thoughts....he asked "So how's your book coming along? I've been following...." Huh? Surprised, I replied "How do you know about my book?" "Honey, I read your blog every other day and I'm very proud of you...." Oh goodness gracious, this is the 3rd ex who has talked about my book and my blog this week. Yemmie actually thinks my style of writing is "Very Interesting" Like seriously....(Okay, that's post for another day). Though, I find it a little freaky that my exes don't mind reading my varied thoughts about other exes, my weird sexcapades, mancading et all. Ha!!! "Anyway, I'm very proud of you Naked Alexandra...." he said. Hahahah....I burst into a fit and crack up. I guess I totally have forgotten how WITTY and affectionate, he can be.

I'm not sure if it's my HORMONES or that time of the month, but it's working....Whatever spell Matthew is spewing across the phone line, its working on me like MAGIC. I'm giggling and chuckling and my baby voice is out in full gear....Yes! I've become a cuddly tweeny tamed KITTEN in a matter of minutes, and after 45 minutes of catching up, and flirting....he dungs it in the net....POW...."Alex, I have missed you like crazy, you know you need to feed me, honey...." I don't know if it's the way he says my name, or its the loving endearment he attaches to such a MISCHEIVOUS statement ('Feed me' is our little secret code for ORAL sex). All I could think of was his head buried between my thighs, licking my honeycomb and telling me how SWEET I tasted. And yes, he gives the best head ever. No teeth and certainly none of those epileptic SLOPPY swirling, some men do to irritate the FUCK out of you. Lol. You know what I mean na....

No, he's the type that shows you he's hungry for all of you as he eats your little MARINATED pinky....Yes, Matthew is a gifted PUSSY man. Believe me, his head never comes up for air until I CUM all over his mouth and he laps up every single drop of my juice, like it's monkey business. Phewww!!! I whimper and he asks "What are you thinking baby?" I'm not sure if I should tell him the truth, but typical of me....I give myself away. "I just thought about me feeding you for a second...." "Honey, I'm starving...." he throws back and I CACKLE. I know that line too well and I can even picture his finger teasing his 9 inches of hard steel....You read that right....Picture a 9 inch veined muscular COCK....and what wouldn't I give right now to have his meat in my mouth....Aaarrrggggh! I guess I must be hungry too.... So he asks "Aleeeex, you are pretty quiet....what am I doing in that imagination of yours?" I broke into a mischievous smile and thought to cut the chase, it's Matthew, I know he can handle the real me. So I whisper gently "Matt, you are actually buried 6 feet in my snatch".....this time, he chuckled loudly, "You are craaaazy woman, Alex.... and you know I like super sexy crazy...." (TO BE CONTINUED....)  

Do you think Matthew is right about me, Lovelies? Do you really think I'm crazy? Do share your thoughts.....I'm dying to see myself through your eyes.....

NOTE : If You Like Today's Raw And Unfiltered Post, Don't Forget To Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot).

You can also pre-order your own 'Specially Autographed' copy of my upcoming book here "THE NAKED EXPERIENCE" and win two VIP tickets for you and a loved one to my Book Tour.

Have A Terrific Tuesday Lovelies! Kisses! 
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Monday, 24 November 2014

Its Time For Change....

Hey Lovelies, the #Expression word for this week is 'CHANGE', because it takes having to make a switch in thinking and in character to make the resulting difference we need in our lives. Remember that you can't Change if you're going to stay the Same.

So here's a little moniker to boost you....

When you Change your THINKING,
You Change your BELIEFS.

When you Change your beliefs,
You Change your EXPECTATIONS.

When you Change your expectations,
You Change your ATTITUDE.

When you Change your attitude,
You Change your BEHAVIOR.

When you Change your behavior,
You Change your PERFORMANCE.

When you Change your performance,
You pretty much will Change your LIFE.

~Frank Outlaw

Happy New Week Lovelies! Its another chance to finish what we started and change the outcome of our goals for good. Let's move sweetkins, it's time for change!!!

If You Like Today's Boost, Don't Forget To Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot).

You can also pre-order your own 'Specially Autographed' copy of my upcoming book here "THE NAKED EXPERIENCE" and win two VIP tickets for you and a loved one to my Book Tour.

Have A Magnificent Monday, Kisses! 
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Sunday, 23 November 2014

#AskAlex: I Love Her But I'm Not Ready To Be A Step Father To Her Kids

Dear Alex,

I like your blog and I also like how you give in depth opinions about other people's worries. For so long I avoided dating women with kids but presently I'm in love with a single mother of 2 and I've known her for 3 years but we only recently started spending quality time and we even KISSED. She's an amazing woman and I really wish she will take me seriously, But she wants something more committed and I don't know if I can give her that because I'm not sure I can be a step father to her kids. Do you think it makes me selfish? Andrew.

Hello Andrew. Thanks for following my blog. It really means a lot to me. I've been trying to figure, how best to help you with your present concern. Since I am no STRANGER to the wonderful world of parenting, with four years of being the sole care-giver of my adorable son, Ray.... gave me that sneak preview into one of the most difficult jobs on the market (and I can understand your fear a little). And while some might be thoroughly enjoying their independence at the moment, and hoping to start their own future families from scratch, I pretty much have accepted the reality, that my future family would in fact be an EXTENDED one, as anyone who wants me in their life, will also be gaining a free son, Ray. Now, A lot of the times, when people say they are in love with someone, I almost honestly don't know what they mean.....because to me, the word "LOVE" is an active reflection of several virtues. Let me explain....

Love is Compassion, Love is Kind, It is Generous, it doesn't keep records of wrong doings (meaning it is Forgiving), as it is also Giving, it doesn't INSIST on its own way (in other words....love is COMPROMISE), it is Sacrifice, it is not Selfish (ln other words, love isn't about your own needs, but the needs of the other person). So just imagine that she says she loves you but can't be with you because your dick is too small or your nose is too crooked. Wouldn't you expect her to love you completely, even with the crooked nose and a limb dick? Just saying.... So how can you claim to "be in love" with a woman, who wants a committed relationship that doesn't EXCLUDE her kids, but you are afraid to give her that....And yet you want her to take you seriously? How more 'serious' can she be? And you not realising that, may just show her how selfish you can be....

Is she supposed to throw away her kids for you....or better still, engage in a meaningless SEXUAL relationship that isn't going anywhere or giving her or the children any form of hope?

When you truly love someone, you love all aspects of them and everything that connects to them, even if those things aren't perfect. Okay, scratch that....lets be a little more REALISTIC.  Its impossible to love everything about a person, but if you really like more things about them, then the few things you don't like about them become IRRELEVANT. In this case, you love an amazing woman but hate the fact that she already has kids with another man, right? But I'm thinking how can you love a woman apart from her children who are products of her love, her upbringing, her challenge, her patience, her struggles, her prayers, her goals and her LIFE. You don't have to be their STEP Father. You can be their father or guide or mentor, whatever it is, as long as she can see that you are making an effort to include them in to your life as well.

Let me knock this in, I'm a single mother and despite the STIGMA, single parents face everyday, both from society and from those who should love and UNDERSTAND them, I wear "motherhood" like a badge of honour because it is my proof that I survived life in itself, whether I have a supportive spouse or not. Now, If there is anything a woman is blessed with, it's INSTINCTS and she gets a double portion of that when she becomes a parent. Any woman who knows a bit of the struggle it takes to raise children, definitely wants a SOLID man in her life, someone who will be an awesome 'companion' to her as well as a great 'father' to her children. And she also knows when a man isn't there for the right reasons or even for the long haul.

#1) Why Is She Single? 

I see in so many ways how SOCIETY brainwashed our minds to think that 'single parents' especially mothers are victims of their own bad choices.. Well, in some cases....that could be true. But we also forget that most single mothers end up so because of LAZY men who refused to grow up and take actual responsibility for their own actions. Also a woman could be left single to raise a child under so many different circumstances, not because she was a 'reckless woman unworthy' of love or marriage by the MORON who supposedly deserted her and the kids. 

She may have been a victim of separation or divorce (and it isn't always because she was the evil wife who couldn't lock down her husband or keep a good man), Relationships are way more COMPLICATED than we could ever fathom....She could even be widowed (not because God hated her or she didn't pray well enough for the protection of her husband's soul) only God knows who belongs in our life and for how long, because only he calls the shots when it comes to our purpose and those we need to drive it. She could even be 'single by choice' (Yes, a woman reserves the right to be lonely, than to be in bad company and no one should ever blame her for being wise about that). Whatever the reasons are, everyone still deserves a fair chance to be happy again, because SINGLE is not a disease and children are a beautiful gift from God, whether they are yours or not. Besides you should be proud that she is the kind of woman who does what is right, not was is easy. The kind who is strong enough to face her fears and ride the tide like a soldier. Not one who could have easily aborted her pregnancy, abandoned her kids or dumped them with a father who wouldn't care.

#2) Who Is A Father?

Let's be honest, any woman who already has children is checking out a potential mate, not just for herself but for her kids as well, let me use myself for example. I'm clearly not dating, not because of a scant availability of successful hot looking men with great sexual package down below, with good intentions and a fantastic relationship resume....but....I ask myself.... are they FIT for the "Daddy" role? Hang on, I'm not exactly scanning every man I see, hoping to kidnap one and invite the justice of the peace over to marry us off. I mean, if I ever had to seriously consider a great mate for myself, I would be wondering if he will also be a good MENTOR and guide for my son Ray. Why? A father is not really the man who donates the SPERM. A father is actually the one who raises a child. And I keep wondering if any of the men who flock around me, wanting something, are ready to become a great father figure to my son. Would I want Ray to take after any of these men in character and values? Are they the sort of men, I would want my son to emulate or even build an attachment to or learn from? Do they love him as much as they love me, if not more. Do they see him as a part of me and not an extra liability?

One of the major problems I realise, is that we tend to see children of single parents as the father's property not a mothers product and most men don't want another man's 'baggage' or better still a child with another man's DNA.....but have we thought about it this way, that all the man did was biologically donate a little bit of sperm not more than 50ml, yet they forget the woman they claim to love also forms an important part, if not a more important role in the child's existence, because it was her ovaries and her womb that incubated the little foetus for months, the stress the pains and even the miracle she has worked to turn a simple restless spermatozoa into a human being. Rather than be appreciated and valued, she gets the short-circuit for birthing a miracle simply because it belonged to another man in her past. Love doesn't discriminate.

#3) What She Wants

Any sensible single mother will not accept any man, who accepts only a portion of her. She wants a man who is not afraid of a challenge, one who will complement her weaknesses and fill in the boots. Someone who is willing and ready to become everything she not only wants, but NEEDS and while most men tend to think a lot of it is purely financial, it's not exactly true. She wants a man who will relieve her from the mental, psychological and emotional responsibility of being alone. Someone who will give her ideas and tips on how best to get positive result from her kids and turn them into great independent minds. Someone who will be a great confidant as well as her partner in crime in the area of child rearing, as well be a great SUPPORT system to her. Someone who understands that love is universal and doesn't choose which DNA only deserves it. Someone who understands that motherhood is a full time job she doesn't get paid for, but finds creative ways to REWARD her with his love.  Always remember that women are big time suckers for men who genuinely love kids and their children will always be the way to her heart. If you care, then do something sweet and affectionate towards them and you'll win her over completely.

#4) What You Can Learn From Her....

Being around single mothers isn't always about listening to them whine about their baby daddies, lack of child support or even their piles of BILLS and the responsibilities on her shoulders. Well, I rarely talk about my ex husband to other men, I almost never do and I certainly don't find the fun in reminding them of a not too pleasant PAST. But if a man were lucky to spend a lot time around me and see how I manage my home, work and Ray. He would definitely think I'm 'Super Woman's' first cousin. Hahahah. 

Here are things a man can learn from a single mother.

a) You can't parent out of pain, fear, and insecurity. You have to love and nurture children and be living examples of what is right, no matter what you've been through.

b) You can't mistreat or cheat on your woman and expect to produce a happy and healthy home. You have to cherish your woman because a happy woman equals, happy kids and happy kids make things way easier.... and that makes a very happy home.

c) A man can't effectively lead his home until he can lead himself. He has to become a master of self before anything else, by how he manages a woman who already has that 'bragging' right in mastering herself and her home, because she can help him to become the solid man he needs to be.

d) Let your woman be great and she will make you greater. Respect her, honour her input and love her children, oh, you can be sure she'll forever love you for that and you'll be better for it! 

They say the best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother....

I say the best thing a man can do for a SINGLE MOTHER is to love her children, because that's a one way ticket straight to her heart. No return! You dig?! 

So do I think it's SELFISH of you to want her and not want her kids? Errr....Let me ask you this, then....

Do you think it's selfish for her to only kiss you and not let you go all the way with her body? It's doesn't seem fair to have one without the other right? EXACTLY!!!! There you have my answer. Lol.

Do let me know if this helps to clear your doubts and solve your concern dear. Xoxo.

NOTE: If You Like Today's Feedback Post, Don't Forget To Share This With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot).

You can reserve your own 'Specially Autographed' copy of my upcoming book here "THE NAKED EXPERIENCE" and win two tickets for you and a loved one to my Book Tour.

Got A Question? Feel Free To #AskAlexHere

Enjoy Your Sunday Lovelies! Kisses!
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