Tuesday, 12 August 2014

The Woman He Wants Vs The Woman He Needs....

I remember listening to a good friend confide in me, about his 8 year old RELATIONSHIP with a lady, who to the ordinary eyes, seemed the pretty innocent type.... but in my own opinion was a first grade LEECH with nothing but sufficient talent in the bedroom. So, I'm not surprised where it all ended.

I remember telling him 4 years ago to DATE on his level and let her go,  because I could see past the nice-needy-sex-kitten she was playing up and begged him to choose the other lady who may have been a little strong headed but ready to do RIGHT by him to make him progress. I've always been of the opinion that a lady with no 'disability' who has no actual RESPONSIBILITY (children, aged/sick parents or younger siblings) but has too many 'financial' problems and desires, is a LIABILITY not an ASSET and an obstacle to progress (abi I lie?).

Of course, he kept the other hard-working lady as his 'back pocket girl' for a little while.....yet complaining she was bossy and MANIPULATIVE whilst still using her and treating her like crap, but had somehow managed to let great SEX with 'Miss Leech' trick his heart to thinking he was more in love with her, after all she made him feel like a man. And what He wanted was the leech who made him "feel" like a man but not 'Madam Bossy' who was actually trying to "make" him into a REAL man. 

Even though I thought My friend benefited more in 2 years from bossy than he did in 8 years with leech. I could sense her deep genuine LOVE for him, But he was too blind and too weak to see the difference, and too stubborn to listen to those who did on his behalf. Completely broke and now infected with HIV, Leech has disappeared for greener pastures with another man....While Head-strong Bossy is the one back now taking care, nursing and loving him like he never hurt her severally. The great 'sex' with Leech was what he WANTED and the 'love' from bossy was what he NEEDED.... but he never understood that "Need" will alway surpass "want".  

I let my friend know that the easy way isn't always the safe way irrespective of how STRESS-FREE a person might want their relationships to be. A girl gives a man what he wants but makes him EARN what he needs, while A Woman gives a Man what he needs, but makes him EARN what he wants...But the problem is that, most men can't even tell the big difference. The true value in a woman isn't in how she treats you in the bedroom, but how she treats you every where else, even when she has good reason to act otherwise. And to find a woman with real SUBSTANCE, not the illusion a man has created in his head.... 

One must avoid women who want you to spend on them. Embrace the woman who wants you to INVEST in her. Discern the one who's more interested in an Upgrade versus the one who's only concerned about true Substance. A Woman has to first be INDEPENDENT, to be able to enjoy and manage Interdependence with you, because not every Woman who is by your side, will truly be on your side. Different people come into our lives for the wrong reasons. That's why, Its not enough that someone is in your life. Figure out why they are there because its rarely for only your interest. Avoid any woman who accepts you the way you are, because most women who truly care, want their men to GROW into a better, greater person. Its not enough for her to just say so...She has to be a guide, an asset in every way possible and contribute to nurturing his EVOLUTION.

Embrace the woman who looks for many ways to bring you JOY, not the ones who only bring themselves. Don't be LAZY in choosing RIGHT...Remember nothing good comes easy. Yes, she may be tough, stubborn, a little too hard on you. But take a deep look at yourself and you may see the reason why she NEEDS to be that way. A relationship can never survive if the two people in it are both weak... A Good woman of substance is hard to come by and maybe a little complex to manage at the beginning, but in the end...She will always be well WORTH it and you will be glad you have her in your life! 

Have A Terrific Tuesday Lovelies! Kisses!

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