Monday, 31 March 2014

All Solid Men Please Stand Up!

I was talking to my Aunt about my good friend who's getting married next month and how she finally found herself a SOLID man who is ready to be a husband to her and a father to her 9 year old daughter.

Naturally, my aunt wanted to know if I ever intend to follow the path my friend is taking...as in me, finding a great man as well for me and my son. (Oh Mehn, trust family to be all over your business...Hehehe.) Anyway, I said "YES". Ofcourse I would love to get married again, this time, for real and build an amazing family with whoever he'll be. But not until I find myself a SOLID MAN deserving of me.

And my Aunty Sandra asked..."My dear, what's your Idea of a Solid Man?..." Ha! Na wa...This woman sef. Lol.

Well, 2 weeks ago I wrote about "The Woman a real man wants and The Queen-Bitch he needs... But I'm yet to share What a good women wants in a man. So guys, its time to drop your egos and take few notes...Lol.

In the world today, society has managed to reduce MANHOOD to Wealth, Sex drive and Tons of Muscles...and whilst we love a nicely toned man, with super charged penis ready to plug and a loaded pocket, I know this is ridiculously far from my definition of TRUE masculinity. 

The truth is that good women are looking for so much more in a man than strong muscles and an over-active libido. Women are looking for more than fancy cars, athletic bodies, cute faces, dimples, height, skin colour and all the other meaningless things, society uses to define manhood and we pretend to fawn over.

So men, go ahead and temporarily ditch the free weights, the hot rods, and the testosterone pills, because if you’re really trying to catch a good fine woman today or re-ignite your woman's love - Here’s what she's really looking for:

#1) A Good Woman Wants A Solid Man Who Is Honest: 

More than any other trait, women are looking for a man who is open, honest and direct... Because HONESTY is a sign of SECURITY. It gives her the feeling that, what she sees... is what she gets and that he has absolutely nothing to hide. A secure man, need not tell fairy tales, play mind games or manipulate her. She wants a man who is straight forward and honest about his strengths, weaknesses, struggles, hopes, dreams, and fears. For a man who has nothing to hide becomes the SAFEST place, in which a woman can keep her heart. Now that’s a straight-up solid quality to me.

#2) A Good Woman Wants A Man Who Values More Than Just Her Looks:

Don't get me wrong, I personally love a little compliment now and again...But Hey! We women know there's always going to be someone sexier, prettier, and more successful out there. So when a man is solely fixated on our looks or our firm double Ds or Fat ass...And Every compliment from him is about, how we have sexier lips than Angelina Jolie or how we have the most beautiful pairs of mammary's he's ever seen, or how soft our rounded buttocks is? And never sees how we are able to magically solve ALGEBRA with our eyes closed. Abeg...that's when we wave...the red flag...Hahaha. A real man should also value a woman's personality, kindness, intelligence, generousity and who she is, as a character, in general. These are the things, that make us feel uniquely special but also reveals a man's intentions in the truest of ways.

#3) A Good Woman Wants A Solid Man Who Isn't Intimidated By Her Motivation:

Now let me share a little secret...I had thought marrying a man in the same creative industry as me was my 'guarantee' that I would never have to worry about a man being insecure over my career goals. Hian! Big Fat Lie!!! Hehehe... As soon as we got married, He wanted me to stop acting, hated the fact that I had goals, and ambition...and did everything possible to kill my career and slow down my drive (including making sure that I put on a lot of weight and re-located me away from my work base). Even though he met me as a Beautiful Working Actor.

Here's the thing, A Solid man who has goals for himself, will want to be with a woman who has goals for her own life, too. He will never feel intimidated or threatened by a woman who goes after what she wants. Infact, He will want to be half part of that POWER couple and will never try to keep his woman from pursuing her dreams. Think of successful women, who have long standing fulfilling marriages eg. Jada Pinkett Smith, Beyonce Knowles, Omotola Jalade Ekeinde, Omoni Oboli, Michelle Obama etc. They all have one thing in common...Solid men who are dedicated and committed to seeing them succeed.

#4) A Good Woman Wants A Solid Man Who Has More Interests Than Just Her:

I don't mean this in a negative way. A woman, of course, should be a priority in her man's life -- but he needs to have a life as well. Interests, friends, hobbies, aspirations et all. If a man works his entire life around a woman, now that's another red flag -- I mean, I've been there before with the same man who couldn't keep friends (which by the way shows a bit of a character disorder) or his own personal goals apart from his day job. I was his only OBSESSION (now imagine him calling me 25 times a day, monitoring my every move and suffocating me with his crazy idea of what love is) Now how can any woman live "Happily-Ever-Like-That?" The truth is that relationships should be a great part of your life, but (don't call to ask if she's still in the toilet 5 minutes after she told you she's doing the poop or cross examine who's voice you heard in the background or if she still loves you for the umpteenth time in one single day) Again, relationships should be a great part of your life, but it should not encompass your whole life.

#5) A Good Woman Wants A Solid Man Who Gives Her Answers;

Now women share their problems because they are usually seeking solution, opinion or advice. So no matter how awkward or uncomfortable a situation is, a solid man will approach that situation, and the woman, with respect. I have always felt that the SYMBOL of a solid man is how he handles CONFLICT, CRISIS, CRITICISM, and any less-than-ideal situation. Every good woman wants a man who will not run away from problems, skirt around challenges, dance with his answers or make silly excuses to avoid dealing or contributing to certain issues. If there is something they both NEED to talk about, he is man enough and willing to address it...to her satisfaction.

#6) A Good Woman Wants A Solid Man Who is Confident and Trusting.

As long as she hasn't betrayed his trust, no woman wants a man who is paranoid about her every move or intentions. She doesn't want a man who snoops around invading her privacy, just to make sure she is not doing something naughty. (Again, I remember how many times, my ex would make up a story just to frame me or see if he could trap me in a figment of his own imagination...Very stupid right?... but you can just imagine a confident woman like me living with an insecure man, who's daily goal was simply to frustrate me. Hahahah.) So, a woman wants a man who has confidence in her and their relationship. A man who understands that part of what comes with the territory of having a girlfriend/wife, is dealing with the fact that she will get admirers from time to time (even if she resemble baboon....Lol) If you're at a bar together, or if she's out with her friends, it goes without saying that your woman will get hit on every once in awhile...and oh, before you met her...Yes, she belonged to someone else just as you also did. That you know who she dated in the past is not an excuse to treat her like she's a suspect to a crime. Everyone has a past, including you sir.

So Instead of letting your primate instincts prevail like an angry gorilla, a confident man will calmly make his new position known, and understand that he's her PRESENT and she's still going home with him at the end of the night.

#7) A Good Woman Wants A Solid Man Who Is Strong:  There is nothing sexier than a man who exudes strength (Not the muscle-rippling-can-lift-ten-bags-of-cement-kind of strength...hehehe) but a strength of MIND, HEART, and SPIRIT. A strength that comes from a man who knows what he believes and stands firm for what is right. A strength in recognising RIGHT from WRONG, and admitting when he has given in to 'wrong'.  A strength that is confident enough to DO right, CHOOSE right, and BE right. 

In this day of compromise, good women are looking for a man who is strong enough to stand his ground by holding on to his values, his beliefs, and most importantly, His fear of God.

#8) A Good Woman Wants a Solid Man Who Is Humble And Shows Her Respect:

What raises a man up more than any other thing is his ability to humble himself. A solid man doesn’t need to talk up who he is, because his way of life speaks for him. (Forget the who you think you are, who you think you know and what you think you have achieved) I've always said that a man's CHARACTER should be his currency. He should put away the big talk, because a man of humility is focused so much more on his actions. He is quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry- because he’s put away his “rights” for the right to be selfless, loving, and full of grace whilst maintaining respect for himself and his woman...because nothing signifies an empty shell of a man more than an ARROGANT man who disrespects women, animals, or mistreats children. A solid man will treat a woman with the same level of respect that he deserves because he sees her EQUAL to himself and will never mistreat her or force her to do anything she's uncomfortable with,

#9) A Good Woman Wants A Solid Man Who is Compassionate: 

We can always recognize a solid man by taking a look at his HEART.  Does his heart move for the things that move others? Is he broken by the pain in his life? Is he moved by the weaknesses he’s working to overcome?  Is he affected when things are not as they should be in his life and relationships?  A solid man is one who allows his HEART to be moved, and then allows his ACTIONS to follow his heart. A man who strives for healing, restoration, and resolution. A man who strives to right the wrongs around him- and the wrongs WITHIN him. (I remember, a few days ago...I had been so ill while filming a movie and knew after I wrapped shoot for that night...I would not be able to drive all the way back as I was running serious fever and couldn't move my limbs. So I called a friend whom I felt loved me and lived in the area where we were filming and ofcourse asked for a favour which wasn't supposed to be such a big deal considering I had slept countless times at his...and ofcourse he gave me the big turn down, stating he was going out for an event...hmmm! Forgetting the number of times I had slept there alone or he had left his keys for me...Still he gave me the "I'm sorry, I'm going out later" and never bothered to even check up on me to make sure I was okay or at least sorted... until the next morning...An effort, I frankly considered pointless cos anything could have happened to me the previous night). I recognise that he's far too self absorbed and hardened to FEEL any compassion for my pain as a friend or for any woman at all, if it doesn't soothe his own personal interest.

Women are truly looking for men of compassion, tenderness, and love... because its only therein, that we will always find the 'heart' of a good SELFLESS man.

#10) A Good Woman Wants A Solid Man Who Is Stable:

Let's be honest. No woman wants to be tossed up and down or treated like she's a game of ping pong. No woman wants to deal with a man who is constantly changing businesses or career path, a man who is one leg in and out of their relationship. A man who can't define what he wants...or follow through on anything. A man who constantly changes his mind faster than lightning. Lol. No good woman wants a man who is easily distracted, manipulated or in a constant phase of confusion and imbalance whether its with his emotions, sex or his finances. A man who doesn't know what he wants, or when he does know, is rather gifted at sabotaging everything...Every good woman wants a solid man who is Mentally, Spiritually, Financially, Sexually and Emotionally Stable. A man who has FOCUS and a life plan that she can rely and depend on...or at best, work alongside with.

#11) A Good Woman Wants A Solid Man Who Will Put Effort Into Their Relationship:

A man doesn't have to be romantic, he doesn't have to be perfect...he only needs to be willing to put in a little extra effort. (I remember once again I put together a BIRTHDAY WISH-LIST inspired by my friend Nthenya's UNFINISHED BUSINESS project) which was really a list of 12 special romantic things I really wanted to do. I sent him the list...expecting a giggle, laughter and just some excitement at how spontaneous or crazy I was. Instead, all I got, was a cold terse reply "Really...All 12 of These?" Na wa o. You can just picture my sheer disappointment...Some of which cost little or nothing (How much is a pack of candles? Or an Old Classical CD...What would it cost to just go Window shopping and take silly camera photos...Drive down to a beach or the water side in Queen's drive, Share a bubble bath, do a little strip tease...Go sugar-high and share some ice cream or just do a little 2-step to our favourite Lurv Jams in his living room...I'm just saying...What would it really cost? Nothing more than Effort) So I jokingly asked "which one are you comfortable with?" Honestly, wondering if he was actually negotiating...then lost my excitement later and told him not to bother as there was no pressure. It could be done whenever. It was me just trying to spice up the atmosphere and build some special moments for us both...And to my Surprise, He actually dropped it and never once mentioned it again. (When a woman who doesn't give a hoot about sex from behind, bends over every friggin hour for her man...takes his fat cock in her mouth or cooks his steak medium rare even if she prefers it fully cooked, has to give up salt, lose some weight or tolerate his excesses...that's her truly making an effort to make him happy). Few men are willing to do the same unless its for their selfish benefit. But a solid man, will do whatever it takes to make his woman happy, both inside and outside of the bedroom because her happiness, is his REWARD.

This is exactly the kind of man I will allow to win my heart. While I can safely say that nobody is perfect including myself. No one needs to be perfect to be solid. A solid man is one who strives to uphold honesty, is compassionate, humble, strong and willing to put an effort in his relationship/marriage. It’s time for women to expect more from our men, and say no to the lies that are being poured into their minds. You are worth far more than that you know and Your masculinity is defined by so much more than you think- and that is what is truly ATTRACTIVE in the eyes of a good woman. So Ladies if I missed out anything, feel free to chip it in the comment box...If not... Its time for All Solid Men to please STAND UP!!

Have A Magnificent Monday Lovelies!
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Sunday, 30 March 2014

Alex's Audio Diary 8

I've been busy filming a movie, but it will be a travesty if I don't share my mothers day audio with all the amazing women who are raising their own children or nurturing someone else's like their own. Please LISTEN to my audio...




Feel free to share your thoughts and this post with others. Happy Mother's day! Kisses!
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Thursday, 27 March 2014

Funny Pix: Man...And The Perfect Bed-Mate!

Well, there's nothing new about men referring to their toys (machinery) as their 'babes'...giving them all sorts of feminine names and treating them better than they will treat an actual woman...Lol. Okay, let's call this bike 'Betty'.

#1) What's the big deal if an excited owner takes his new covetted babe, Betty to 'bed'... (I mean, I slept with my first pair of shoes...no biggie there. Lol)

#2) Betty not only has to share the tiny bed with him. He also has to keep her warm...duvet et all. Oh! What a loving man. Hahahah.

#3) And wait, let's add some goey-poppy stare and a little cuddle to the mix. I mean, which man wouldn't be excited to have a pretty Betty in bed with him. Ha!

#4) You can bet there's no sleep for him tonight. Or if he does sleep a wink, imagine him dreaming about all the crazy-fun things he could do with Betty indeed.

#5) Let's admit it. He has found his soul-mate. No other object of desire can give him the adrenaline rush Betty can give him.

#6) Besides, there's no better bed-mate for a man than an inanimate 'babe' who won't nag about his snoring, smelly feet or kick him out of his own bed.

Enough said! This is a MATCH made in heaven...Hahahah.

Have An Awesome Thursday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Who Are You, Biko?

Over the weekend, someone called my mobile phone and my sister answered the call...A man at the other end said he wanted to speak with me... "Is this Alex? I want to talk to Alex" (Hian, no hello...nothing). Just an obnoxious man with a superiority complex. So my sister replies him "No, this is not Alex. "Who are you? She's not here, Would you like to leave a message" then he replied "Tell her Samson (not real name) called" and again seeing that his number wasn't saved on my phone, she asked "Samson from where?" Of course he got offended and dropped the call. Later I received an angry message from him, he's supposedly a top shot politician in one of the biggest political parties here...but neither I nor my sister knew who the heck he was. What did he want? Now that's another matter altogether.

Its very strange how people find it difficult to introduce themselves simply because they believe they are either famous, successful or both... and then tend to assume that everyone should know who they are. I mean, I know my former acting coach RMD will always introduce himself "Hi, my name is Richard Eyimofe Damijo. How are you?" And you can best believe that a lot of the children born in the very late 90's will not know who he is. Oh wait, my own Father does the same thing "Hello, My name is Tony Okoroji" simple and straight (Abeg forget the Chief or Barrister-Architect-Mrs...Lol). And that's a man who has dedicated more than 30 years of his life to the Nigerian Creative Industry in different capacities...No Attitude, Nothing....just plain humility. Now, can I pretend that there aren't people who never knew he was a famous musician, songwriter and producer (move aside Don Jazzy..hehehe..) in the late 70s to early 80s or those who never heard his songs (and oh...I said musician...as in, sing and plays instruments...not what our modern day overtly hyped artistes who don't even know a single musical note or what key they sing on). Still at his age and level of his career achievements...knows how important it is to introduce himself always, no matter where.

I mean...you can't just assume everybody knows who you are simply because GOOGLE has articles on you, you grace the cover of FASHION magazines, you are junk tabloid's favourite subject, you shake your BUTT on TV, Was in a REALITY show, you are a celebrity BLOGGER, you have over 200,000 plus followers on twitter, you are VERIFIED, perhaps you ONCE modeled, you are a SINGER, philanthropist or your family is on FORBES rich list...(Ehen, how does that change the prize of fish in the market?). Do you know how many people honestly couldn't be bothered? You'll be shocked... Hold on...MICHAEL JACKSON will probably be one of the most famous people to ever exist...and I'm sure some people (and not in any remote village) who probably have never heard of him. I know my 3 year old son Ray hasn't....hahaha (its not a crime....oh well, it is. Hahahah...I will still need to get him to listen to BAD, HUMAN NATURE and his entire greatest hits...but err...you get the point, right?)

So, carrying yourself like 'planet' EARTH was named after you or you are the one funding the AIR in which the world breathes... is rather comical. I mean, I don't get angry that out of the 9 quality soap operas I've featured in, on television or the movies I've done... Or TV programmes or events I've hosted...some people still don't recognise me or even yet, some journalists will pretend my claim to fame is just being the daughter of a famous celebrity. Hahahah...but how can I be mad if they don't watch TV? Or care that its my voice they hear on radio...or that I wrote that film they absolutely love. Lol. Really, WHO AM I? With thousands of achievers springing up everyday in a population of over 150 million citizens. Its impossible to expect the entire country to know who you are...talk less of the world. Even some people don't know who the governor of their own state is...So why do we get so invested in our public presence or personas that we lose our HUMILITY and ETIQUETTE. I've seen quite a lot of my colleagues a.k.a celebrities walk in somewhere and go 'bonkers' that someone didn't throw themselves on the floor and lick the ground on which they walk, or that the person either didn't recognise them, wanted some information on them or didn't give them the 'star' treatment they expected.

Let me break it down...People by HABIT tend to know a lot about things and people they have interest in. If someone generally loves politics, sports, movies or music, they will know all about the latest sports news, music and movies stars or subjects related to them. If they are picky in terms of genres, then their knowledge and interest will be limited to just that. And if you are like me, who's not into a few things like SOCCER...you may never have a clue whatsoever about it. I remember a few years back like 5 or 6 years ago, I was at an "event after-party" and some guy walked up to me and said his boss sent him to call me up. Huh? "Who is your boss?" I asked..."Victor Ikpeba..." he replied...then I asked "Who is that?" The guy stared at me, mega STUNNED... Okay, the name played around in my mind. I knew it may be someone sorta familiar. But the truth is, I don't watch football, I don't know him and I couldn't care less if he was David Beckham's twin brother. The fact that he felt too 'arrogant' to walk up to me himself and thought he needed to send his PA to flash his name in my face...was good enough reason for me to ignore the bombaclad...And I did. Hahahah...(But seriously you sef check am).

Abeg! What stops you from walking in somewhere or calling someone up and politely introducing yourself "Hello, My name is Omotola Jalade Ekeinde, I'm an Actress. Nice to meet you" or "Hi, My name is Whizkid. I'm a Singer and I would love to chat with you" (I'm just saying). Do you wanna bet me that we will find millions in this country who've never heard of them or don't know who they are. I mean take Genevieve Nnaji to mushin and watch area boys and market women treat her with ignominy while they are famzing Ireti Osayemi or Funke Akindele...hehehe... or try take Obesere to my village in Ogada, Atta in Imo state and figure out if they've ever heard of him talk less of his songs. We seem to get carried away by the hype surrounding us that we forget that there's someone just as important, maybe more important or not so important, who still doesn't know we exist. We fawn over the Will Smith's, Brad Pitt's, Nicole Kidman's, Kanye West's, Becham's, Ronaldo's, Beyonce's, Barrack Obama's of this world...BUT check am na, in a WORLD filled with hundreds of billions of people, some people still don't know who they are...so Pleaseee....WHO ARE YOU? Keep it modest, keep it straight and oh, in the words of rapper, Olamide..."First of all....INTRODUCTION...please". Hehehe...

Have A Wonderful Wednesday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Monday, 24 March 2014

Alex's Video Diary 2: Passion And Commitment...



Hello Lovelies, I'm sorry this is coming later than I usually post. Still, better late than never right? Today I share a little on "Passion + Commitment ". Please Watch...And feel free to add your thoughts.

Enjoy The Rest of Your Monday Lovelies. Kisses!
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Saturday, 22 March 2014

Feature: My Jim Iyke And Nadia Buari's Engagement Theory!

Okay its been pretty interesting reading all the funny commentary on Nadia Buari and Jim Iykes engagement tale. As always, the juice broke out on his reality show "JIM UNSCRIPTED" and blogosphere went crazy on them...Stories, Pictures, Tweet and Retweets...Hian o! See gbege! (Yes na...even my brother sef dey cry..."No not my babe, Nadia...Why?") Hahaha...Say wetin na? That two beautiful powerful consenting adults decided to padlock themselves and throw away the keys (all in the name of an engagement). Sorry TJ nothing for you here. Hahaha.

So while the congratulations are flying about, by the happy-sum, others are either cynical, sarcastic or just plain pessimistic about this entire engagement fiasco. Haba na! Can't a man decide he wants to quit bachelor-hood and join the rest of his INMATES in marital jail? (Okay, you know I'm kidding right?)

Here's the thing...While I really hate to openly poke my nose in other people's business especially if it's a friend or colleague, I can't pretend I've not been thinking about it since the news broke...and you know me...if a thought crosses my mind so vividly, then I'm itching till I share it with you. So even though I really do like the both of them together... I mean who wouldn't? They are so cute especially that sweet pet name she calls him...something that sounds like 'snickers'...No...Aha, I remember now...SKITTLES...Yes...hehehe. Still the press and the Amebo Association of Fans want to know what the real deal is, even though I think its nobody's business really...except that, if you put out your life on display in a reality show for people to watch...then expect them to act like your life is their friggin business and you owe them some explanation right?

So with captions like "Another Celebrity Couple?" Or "Is This The Next Kim-ye?" "Is This Another Publicity Stunt?" You can't help but wonder what the hula-bula is all about. I mean, Is it such a big deal that Jim will consider to marry the woman he has obviously been flaunting publicly for the last 10 months or so? Or is it the fact that they are both celebrities and people already have reservations about celebrity marriages succeeding? (Very silly theory if I may add) or Is it because they both come from different countries and have different cultures? (Hey, don't look at me that way... I know what you are thinking...Now, that one I will have to poke a hole. hahahah)

Well being that I've kinda been in a similar position (oh no, I don't mean the somewhat staged Public engagement on National Tv o...Lol) I mean marrying a famous Actor from Ghana and hoping just because him and I both share the same career and are both west africans with on-the-surface similar cultures, we could both make it work. BIG LIE. It didn't...and I really think, it takes a lot more than that.

In a conversation I was having with a friend and her very interesting/articulate elder cousin who happens to be a visiting pastor from Ireland...He was pretty emphatic that the big mistake a lot of people make in choosing a life partner is mistaking a boyfriend for a husband or a girlfriend for a wife. Let me explain... Someone could be an absolute perfect BOYFRIEND material, does everything he should...spoil you, treats you well and all...but that doesn't make him a forever candidate...the HUSBAND material. Same for a lady, she may be the perfect girlfriend, screws you any time you want, does your laundry, cooks your meal, respects you...even let's you take advantage of her...The absolute perfect girlfriend material, still it doesn't necessarily mean she has the MATURITY and WISDOM it takes to be promoted to a WIFE.

So a lot of times, we are so carried away by the butterfly fluttering our over-fed bellies, that we find ourselves PROMOTING people who we really shouldn't...simply because we make our decisions based on EMOTIONS instead of PRINCIPLES. And as the pastor said Relationships should be about 'principles' not emotions (this pretty much reminds me of a post I wrote last month tagged "MIRROR, MIRROR...WHO IS FAIRER? TO LOVE Versus IN LOVE"...hmmm).

So back to Jim and Nadia. I honestly do believe any two, who consciously understand the 'principles' of relationships, whether they are Artistes, Celebrities, Regular Folks, Foreigners, Single Parents or Divorcees can actually make a marriage work if they...and only if they CHOOSE to. But I do have a few questions fingering my mind about this particular engagement though;

#1) How the hell in the world were they both able to hide an engagement until that episode aired? (Totally beats me...not even the late Michael Jackson could pull that off)

#2) If they both are really engaged...and that aired episode was taped last year, then why did he need marriage deliverance from TB Joshua, biko kwa? Lol.

#3) If this isn't a publicity stunt...and they really do plan to make a commitment to each other...(okay, they've had enough time to privately enjoy their engagement-moon). Why is she still playing fence about it and publicly misleading everyone with her tweets? Hmm...

I mean, if she's gonna marry the man...she's gonna marry him right? What's there to hide?...The world knows they are both screwing each other anyway and globe-trotting together like they own world bank and 'cupid' is their guardian angel...hehehe... so why not put it out in them bitches faces..."Hey, I finally won the man of my dreams...Kiss my yellow behind, bitches"...(Now, that would be a very ballsy way to own it like a Queen-Bitch would)...hahaha...

I mean isn't it interesting how Nadia gets in one year the ring another woman waited 6 bloody years for and couldn't get. Hmm... I guess this is testimony that men do know who they want... no matter the amount of forcing, sexing, manipulating or faking to be who you're not just to make him happy... will make him choose you if he doesn't want you. And whilst an engagement in itself isn't marriage, it is still something I think she needs to be PROUD of, unless ofcourse things really aren't as they seem...(or) they really did get engaged, but then with the space of time (between recording it and airing), the dynamics of the relationship may have changed...(As it is the reality of life) but it was probably too late to yank of that episode without affecting other follow-up episodes...when all in all, he stands to benefit from the buzz it would garner anyway (just my silly analysis...ha!).

Whatever the real story is, I wish them both well and pray they both know what they are doing, whichever way the cards fall. Still I'm curious to know though, what do you my lovely blogger-fam think? Do you really think this is for real or my prank-loving Jim Iyke is just punking the world? Hahahaha. Feel free to share your thoughts. I'm itching to know...

Have A Stress-Free Saturday Lovelies! Kisses.
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Friday, 21 March 2014

BIODUN STEPHENS: And The Dead-End Romance!

Yaaay, its another Celebrity Guest Post Friday...And honestly if you aren't reeling with laughter from this amazing piece by my 'Celebrity Guest Post' Author, the very multi-talented On Air Personality (OAP), Actress, Writer, Voice Over Artiste and Producer of the Radio Show 'WHISPERS'... the Bubbly, Beautiful and Eloquent, Biodun Stephens...we'll have to get you checked o. Hahahah. So Lovelies, have you ever been tempted so bad that you became a victim of your own imagination? Oh well, read on and let me know what you think about her post. I love it, I hope you do too...Here it is;

DEAD-END ROMANCE by BIODUN STEPHENS...

"When Alex asked that i write a piece for her blog, i was honoured as i was anxious. Wetin i go write, i wonder. Finally after plenty pacing, it hit me, so here we go.

Anyone who knows me, knows i am a sucker for TALL, LEAN and GOOD LOOKING men. If he is a great converser, intelligent, with some wad in his pocket and a tendency for generosity, i like even more. Yes! These and more , did my hunk of a neighbour possess. Kai! the guy HOT die.

Now, we never get to say anything other than " hello...hi", UNTIL a father pleasant evening. Hmmm...There must have been a power SURGE that sent the building's fuse box into explosion, i was having my bath when the explosion happened and then thick smoke followed. I jumped out of the bath, grabbing my towel and racing outside, and 'collided' straight into the very gorgeously toned body of my neighbour also clad in his towel... he was just about going for a bath( oh lord, what are the odds?) Lol. Anyway We put out the fire and called for help. I noticed, he observed my voluptuously CURVED self walk away in my towel, my ass jiggling shamelessly.

The next evening , he knocked on my door, just to check my electricals were fine. The next day i also returned the favour and was invited in. Hian! To cut the tori short, after a few glasses of wine, chit- chatting about irrelevant issues, we ATTACKED each other voraciously and yes Alex, i was NOT-disappointed, that is to say, the SEX was 'unforgettable'. In the days that followed, i went back for seconds and more until my HUSBAND'S very timely arrival.

During dinner, my husband filled me in on his trip and I in turn, supplied him, a generous dose of my 'fabricated' story which centred mainly on how LONELY and BORING the house had been without him. He smiled...quite coldly, and decided to play me a recording from his phone. I sat STUNNED, unable to move as i heard myself, groaning and moaning with ludicrous pleasure and my neighbour grunting as he HUMPED away, spitting vulgarity. Mo Gbe! I was speechless. My Husband looks at me and says, "You must have dialled me in the heat of your passion"...Holy moses, I must have died a thousand times over in my chair.

I kept hearing him shout my name until he tapped me, and I jumped out of my chair..Oh my, i have been daydreaming about the very gorgeous man who sat across my table at the CANTEEN. Boy was i happy... Na just imagination, ha! grateful am i Lord. I said in silent prayer. "Everything okay? You were gonna give me your number before you spaced out" He said. My number? Ehnn!! this guy wan put me for wahala. Abeg, I am married ooo. I looked at him, picked up my bag and waka comot quick. Pheww! In the words of Terry G... "Devil, i don jump and pass this temptation". Hehehe."

By Biodun Stephens

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So lovelies what did you think about her post? Feel free to comment and share as always.

Have a Fantastic Friday Lovelies. Kisses!
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Thursday, 20 March 2014

Alex's Knowledge: MANGOES...The King of Fruits!

OMG, Mango season is here again and I don't know anyone who is happier than I am, to be honest... Did you know that the Mango fruit is considered "THE KING OF FRUITS" and its the most consumed fruit in the world? For #AlexKnowledge let me share with you its many health benefits:

#1) It prevents Cancer.

#2) It can be used as an internal and external skin CLEANSER against acne n blemishes.

#3) Its an APHRODISIAC and helps improve sex drive.

#4) It improves EYE health n prevent night blindness.

#5) It helps lower CHOLESTROL.

#6) It also helps control DIABETES.

#7) It helps with INDIGESTION just like papaya...

Now I know why many Indians love the fruit and use it as deserts...And why I've been a little different these past 2 weeks. May I add that my facial skin is almost perfect and my sex drive...err... (See your face...hehehe). Let's just say I've been mentally comparing the feeling of tasty mangoes in my mouth... with that of great sex. Hehehe...And oh...the mango juice taste absolutely best with VODKA... by my own standards ofcourse. Its one of my favourite Acoholic Cock'tails...so grab a basket full and toss away the 'spanish fly' hahahah.

Have a Great Throw-Back Thursday Lovelies. Kisses.
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Funny Pix: One Size Too Many....

Hahahah...I'm not one to mock a 'plus' size person (stop rolling your eyes...or should I have said MAXIMUM size like she's some drop dead weight or computer programme? Hian!) Okay I'm assuming its a 'she'...because those mammarys don't look like 'man-breasts' to me...but even if I'm wrong as I have no way of checking its genitals, HAIR+BREASTS= SHE.

Anyway, when I saw this, my first thought was "Hell no, you've got to be kidding me...This can't be real, she has to be wearing a body suit." Until I zoomed in and saw all the 'fine lines'...oh sorry, you know it as STRETCH MARKS and its siblings. Now whilst my mother will love to slap that 'can drink' off her hands...I'm gonna praise her for a number of things I noticed.

#1) She is very Ballsy. (I mean the last time I took a naked picture that remotely looked like this, was NEVER. I'm yet to find my own balls there...hehehe.)

#2) She can sit yoga style...Aha! (Ask all the size 2-8 slimmys to try it. You wanna break somebody. (Even, I used to be able to cross my legs...Until...Ehen...Ray, where's my doctor's report?) Lol.

#3) This has to sort of be an 'IMAGE CAMPAIGN'... "Hey, Look at me...I'm FAT, I love Fanta and I'm Fantastic"...Hahaha...I mean she seems rather comfortable in her own skin, right? (But then again, na who's skin she wan dey comfortable inside? Hmm...You feel me ba.)

#4) She always has to carry her 'mobile' land-phone, with her... for EMERGENCY calls...just incase na...(Chai! Must I use my mouth to tell you everything?)

#5) She's very humble. (Can't you see...No need for a 'queen-size' poster bed abeg, as long as she has her drink, the mattress is just perfect on the floor. Lol)

So... Ehen! About that 'can drink', PLEASE DON'T BOTHER, this is a lost case. (Let's be honest) I mean what better way to commit SUICIDE than for an 'obese' woman to build intimacy with her can of soft drinks. I see only SWEEEEET death looming....Shio Kelebe!!! Hehehe.

Have A Terrific Thursday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Wednesday, 19 March 2014

What Every Real Man Wants In A Woman....

My father used to say that to remember something...one has to either write it down or teach someone else...and that has been my working tool ever since. I wrote a post 2 days ago about THE QUEEN-BITCH EVERY REAL MAN NEEDS...and it somehow miraculously climbed up to become one of my popular posts. Whilst the women who read it might be swinging their 'bras' in the air in complete solidarity for one another, I can imagine the men rolling their eyes clutching their precious penis in fear of what's to happen (Alex-The-Sell-Out-Queen-Bitch). Hehehe.

I made it clear that a Queen-Bitch is not a bitch because she had a bad day... She's a BITCH because she is a PRINCIPLED woman, who lives by the values she holds true. In other words I'm just a strong confident woman who acknowledges her values even as I'm shamelessly cheer-leading for the MEN TEAM. And I believe that particular post was just as VALUABLE to MEN, if not more so than to women....Relationships are not the best they can be unless both parties are constantly striving towards growth and healing in their lives. I think sometimes it’s easy for women to see the DEFICITS and needs in the men around us, while never fully acknowledging the 'need' for growth in our own lives.

What it means is that, just like women are not satisfied in defining a real man by his muscles and sex drive, REAL MEN are also shifting their perception of what they want in a woman. I see a class of new men rising up, who in their MATURITY and discernment understand that BOOBS and SEX 'appeal' have no value in the equation of a healthy and meaningful marriage/relationship. Now, I'm going to share with my ladies WHAT A REAL MAN WANTS IN A WOMAN and believe me, I only figured it out myself not so long ago...so not to worry, I'm just as rusty. Hehehe.

Now every man is different but there are certain things about a woman that will make most men take notice, STAND UP and decide to connect with you on a deeper level. If you want to win a real man’s heart, you need to know what makes a man go from just casually dating you to wanting and needing you to be an INTEGRAL part of his life. 

And I'm not talking about a Mummy's-Boy-The-Tyrese-Baby-Boy-Down-On-His-Luck-Still-Trying-To-Have-Fun-Insecure-Irresponsible-Unstable-Committment-Phobic-Kind-Of-Man (seems harsh, but you can't deny the existence of these types). I’m talking about a real man – who is mature and grounded on a mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual level. A QUALITY man who is open to growing on a deep personal level and is looking for a real relationship.

So what does a mature, REAL man want in a woman?

#1) A Real Man Wants A Woman Who Is Real:- It’s sometimes hard to believe that being 'real' is attractive to men. I think it’s easy for us women to look at the billboards and magazines that fill our minds with air-brushed pictures of beauties and enhanced bodies and that makes us think that being 'real' looks less attractive . But I’ve found that real men are attracted to a woman who is just as comfortable in her natural self. (I've been told many times that I’m most beautiful in my natural state: even before the makeup, the hair, and the fashion has taken away or added its enhancement, which is why I rarely make up or wear very little, when I'm not going to a huge event/function). There is something RAW about the natural beauty of a woman that far exceeds the plastic version of ourselves that we women strive for and believe in.

STILL men are not simply looking for a woman who is only real with her 'appearance', but one who is REAL with who she is, what she wants, what she likes and what she is about. They want a woman to be fully herself…personality, quirks, deficits and all.  These are the things that make you unique and set you apart from every other woman.

#2) A Real Man Wants A Woman Who Is Playful:- (Take it from an ex ice-queen with a poker face...ME...hehehe) No man really wants you to be that serious. I mean I recently realised that most men really like it when I'm harmlessly flirtatious or I playfully tease them about their goofs or when I'm sarcastic about a silly male interest or just generally playful or child-like. Even my son, Ray loves it when I'm goofy...and its not because he's a child...(Try the same thing with a female toddler and see how she rolls her eyes at you with a straight face...Yes ke). So apparently there's something SEXY about a 'Happy Woman' that drives men wild and invites them into a deeper level of CONNECTION.

Men love to play and be active. They were raised to express themselves and connect with others through ACTION. Unfortunately, most of us, women seem to forget this and want to talk our way into his heart. But the truth is SIMPLE. It’s not your words that makes a man attracted to you, it’s the EXPERIENCES you create with him. And I don't mean something 'playful' by giving his dick a pet name like "little tweeny" or having a meaningful conversation with IT like its oompha lumpha, mickey mouse or you're in the muppet show. Hahaha.

I mean something adult and within his taste like watching or playing sports together (or if you hate watching like me...try exercising together. Nothing like taking power-walks together or letting him count for you as you show him you are better than him at stomach crunch or squats...wink), be competitive in casual games like ping pong (well, I tried beating an ex once to a game of checkers...without success ofcourse, but I bet he found it interesting that we were playing a board game in the trunk of my car while sipping vodka with mango at the mechanic workshop)– just throw a little teasing or if you are a sour-puss, a little sarcasm here and there – and you’ll really ramp up his interest.

#3) A Real Man Wants A Woman Who Is Independent:- Too many women mistakenly believe that men are looking for a 'weaker' woman who will make them feel like they are smarter and more powerful. I only recently found out as well, that nothing could be FARTHER from the truth. I mean, I come across different men everyday who are simply INTRIGUED that I write all these silly thoughts they secretly consider valuable, and are just 'amazed' at how driven and passionate I am about excelling in my career.

A real man wants a woman who INSPIRES him because she has great things going on, in her own life. They want a woman who has her own PURPOSE other than just being in a relationship with him. A real man isn’t intimidated by a woman's independence and success. What matters to him is that a woman still has space in her life for the relationship and is grounded enough to be PRESENT and INVOLVED whenever she’s with him.

I believe the best way to show this to a man is to stay BUSY in your own life and not suddenly make him your universe. Don’t drop your own interests, responsibilities, and friends just to hang around him 24/7.  But, when you are with him, really BE with him – have fun and give your attention to him and whatever it is both of you are doing together.

#4) A Real Man Wants A Woman Who Is Confident:- There is something about CONFIDENCE that exudes beauty and attraction to a man, in fact to anyone including us, women. A woman who is confident knows who she is and what she BELIEVES...and holds on to that in her interactions with others (Aha! Doesn't this remind you of the Queen-Bitch). She believes in herself, and knows that she is VALUABLE standing alone.  She’s not defined by her 'relationship' status, her physical appearance, or her sex appeal.  She doesn’t buy into the lies that her VALUE is dependent on what she does- but rather, WHO she is.  Because a woman of confidence is AWARE that her value is rooted in nothing else but her growth and her principles.

#5) A Real Man Wants A Woman Who Is Emotionally Mature: (Ha! I just flashed back 7 years ago...When, I didn't know much about reigning in my emotions. Those were the days I wanted to address every single hurt I felt...and even though I was just a young lady who didn't know much about how to react or effectively communicate my thoughts, I haven't stopped being the 'she-devil'-a.k.a DRAMA QUEEN he painted to everyone back then... Now...don't get me wrong, I still love to express myself and address issues...but in a calmer more composed manner) If a man cares for a woman, eventually there’s going to be a situation where both parties will have their differences and misunderstand each other.

A woman who responds with maturity and doesn't always blame or criticize a man for what she’s feeling, but shares her feelings in an HONEST and AUTHENTIC way... that helps him better UNDERSTAND her will be very attractive to him. How a woman handles her emotions is one of the most important things men secretly look out for in a woman (I learned the hard way...Lol.)  If she lets her emotions get out of control like a loose canon on steroids, this is a big RED FLAG. On the other hand, if she can express her feelings to him in a calm, not overtly dramatic manner, she will win his RESPECT and make him feel, she’s the kind of woman that will make a great PARTNER.  He’ll see that she can handle things with a cool head and she indeed has a 'Presence of Mind'.

#6) A Real Man Wants A Woman He Can Connect With On A Spiritual Level: Hey! Don't roll your eyes...I didn't say RELIGIOUS, I said spiritual level and even that can be interlaced. I believe most men want a woman who shares similar ideology when it comes to spirituality whether it is their religious influence or cultural beliefs. A man wants a woman who is spiritually aware and present, no matter what their religion is whether Christian, Islam, Jew, Hindu, Buddhist, Sango, Ifa or Rastafarian etc. (I personally know as a young christian woman, a real christian man will look out for signs that you share similar faith in his God or you are atleast open minded to seeking/learning and appreciating his ideology and beliefs... and that his woman in fact have a keen 'Presence Of Mind'.

#7) A Real Man Wants A Woman He’s Intensely Attracted To: I hear Men aren’t as scared of commitment and relationships as they are scared of being in a relationship with a woman where there is no PASSION and ATTRACTION. To have passion means to allow ones heart and life to be guided by things that are MEANINGFUL, invested in things that are good, and living a life that is purposeful. A real man wants a woman who attracts him PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, INTELLECTUALLY and SEXUALLY enough to keep him completely invested in her. This means having his goals, dreams, and values propelled and tied to her. 

Most men will tell you that it’s important for them to be attracted to their significant other. The problem with this is that sometimes we as women MISINTERPRETE this to think that the way to a man’s heart is by achieving 'super-model' status.  We beat ourselves up emotionally, physically, and mentally trying to fit into a mold that we are not.  I believe 'attraction'- to a real man, is more than physical appearance.  I’ve met tons of men who are completely turned off by gorgeous women who are just hollow or brain-dull on the inside.

Real men are looking for a woman who displays true beauty, a beauty that resonates with kindness, compassion, humor, strength, love, joy, and generosity.  Believe it or not, real men are more interested in the size of a woman’s heart and mind than the size of her WAIST (even if all he wants to do all day is wrap his hands around your waist) . It’s ironic then, that our society pressures women into keeping their focus on the external things that matter very little. Hence we accidentally kill the attraction men might be feeling by either trying too hard to get him to stay, or by acting like the relationship is too serious, way too soon (okay, we've all been guilty one way or another).

#8) A Real Man Wants A Woman He Can Trust :- If you didn't know that men are big on LOYALTY... abeg let me ask, which rock have you been living under? Lol. A real man wants a good woman he can trust and count on. He needs to know that your YES means 'Yes'...and NO isn't something that sounds like "Hello". Hahaha...I mean if you tell him, you only 'kissed' your driver once or that you and that attractive colleague of yours only got to second base, nothing more...hehehe...he should know HIS 'woman' will never keep the TRUTH from him. Don't let him think when you say you are PREGNANT, you have mysteriously switched your birth control pills for multi-vitamins just to TRAP him or when you ask for a little financial aid, he's double-checking cause you've been known to SCAM your way up the success ladder...and every word that comes out of your mouth are lines from a movie script you've been ACTING your entire life. Hian! Every real man wants a woman who's trustworthy... and that doesn't mean just being 'honest' but also being RELIABLE as well. He needs to trust that he can 'count' on you whenever he NEEDS your support and direction. He needs to know that if he unfortunately goes down on his luck, you won't mysteriously abscond with your childhood friend who suddenly became a commissioner or if he was confined to a wheel chair you will still love him just as much as you loved the first moment you saw his K-Legs. Lol. There's nothing more meaningful to a man than knowing he's in love with a woman he TRUSTS maybe even more than himself or atleast has his best interest at heart.

So to my Real Fellas out there, if I left out anything...Please feel free to CHIP it in the comment box...And Oh! Ladies...If You are the kind of Woman I described, then #whadeheck ...Go grab your Man BITCHES! Hahahah.

Have A Wonderful Wednesday Lovelies...And don't forget to share this post. Kisses!
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Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Alex's Truth 4: Speak The Truth....

Hello My Lovely Blogger-Fam, I'm sorry, I'm a little mentally exhausted from countless business/creative meetings (Yes na, I'm thinking of ways to move our brand forward). I promise to keep it light and airy today. Hehehe...if you are as mentally exhausted as I am then maybe you need some of 'Alex's Truth' to boost you or help you better reflect today. Here's my truth for today, hope it inspires you or someone close to you;

1) The price for GREATNESS is 'responsibility'. There is no single great person alive without responsibility.

2) We must be careful not to turn a 'moment' or 'memories' into a MONUMENT. Celebrate your victories, success, romance, opportunities, achievements... And err...yes, move on!

3) Rejection is painful...even more painful, when you know the problem isn't you but THEM. But then again, that's LIFE and nothing about life is fair.

4) When you find people who constantly CHALLENGE you to be better for yourself. Keep them!

5) Dis-illusion is when the right one loves you for all the right reasons...but you are too damn INVESTED in chasing the wrong ones, to even see it!

6) Sometimes, we 'expect' more from others only because we're WILLING to do just as much for them. But they may not even realise it. Hmmm...

7) Don't leave the one you NEED, for the one you WANT...but then again, the one you need could be the one you never thought you even wanted!

8) Be smart if you can: but its even better to be WISER than to be smart. 'Wisdom' is no easy acquisition!

9) The fastest way to 'eliminate' a problem is to ADDRESS it. Running away from your problems, is a race you should know by now, you can NEVER win.

10) Every 'good' person DESERVES someone that can make their heart 'forget' that it was ever broken...only if you're BRAVE enough to let go!

11) Walking away is the 'best' SOLUTION...if its the only option, after all has been said and done...I said AFTER not 'before'. Hehehe.

12) Most times we come into a person's life not solely to make them love us, but to make them REALISE that they are 'valuable' beyond worthy! Love proves that right? Err...

13) Sometimes for a woman to help a man 'find his way and focus', she has to LOVE him from a distance...if he created the distance, He has 'lost' big time. If she consciously did, then he has a big chance of winning. DISCERN!

14) One of the biggest challenges in life is making DECISIONS when one is faced with 'numerous' choices. It may not be rocket science, but it can be simple maths. Hahaha. THINK the ratio of 'Plus' versus 'minus' and there's your ANSWER.

15) I have learned that most people tell LIES to avoid losing someone or something... While others tell the TRUTH to avoid losing themselves...

Sometimes you have to decide whether losing yourself is even worth the cost for keeping something or someone against their own true judgement. I believe you should speak the truth even if your voice shakes or what do you think lovelies?

Do Have A Terrific Tuesday! Hugs...Yes...And Err...Kisses!
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Alex's Truth 4: Speak The Truth....

Hello My Lovely Blogger-Fam, I'm sorry, I'm a little mentally exhausted from countless business/creative meetings (Yes na, I'm thinking of ways to move our brand forward). I promise to keep it light and airy today. Hehehe...if you are as mentally exhausted as I am then maybe you need some of 'Alex's Truth' to boost you or help you better reflect today. Here's my truth for today, hope it inspires you or someone close to you;

1) The price for GREATNESS is 'responsibility'. There is no single great person alive without responsibility.

2) We must be careful not to turn a 'moment' or 'memories' into a MONUMENT. Celebrate your victories, success, romance, opportunities, achievements... And err...yes, move on!

3) Rejection is painful...even more painful, when you know the problem isn't you but THEM. But then again, that's LIFE and nothing about life is fair.

4) When you find people who constantly CHALLENGE you to be better for yourself. Keep them!

5) Dis-illusion is when the right one loves you for all the right reasons...but you are too damn INVESTED in chasing the wrong ones, to even see it!

6) Sometimes, we 'expect' more from others only because we're WILLING to do just as much for them. But they may not even realise it. Hmmm...

7) Don't leave the one you NEED, for the one you WANT...but then again, the one you need could be the one you never thought you even wanted!

8) Be smart if you can: but its even better to be WISER than to be smart. 'Wisdom' is no easy acquisition!

9) The fastest way to 'eliminate' a problem is to ADDRESS it. Running away from your problems, is a race you should know by now, you can NEVER win.

10) Every 'good' person DESERVES someone that can make their heart 'forget' that it was ever broken...only if you're BRAVE enough to let go!

11) Walking away is the 'best' SOLUTION...if its the only option, after all has been said and done...I said AFTER not 'before'. Hehehe.

12) Most times we come into a person's life not solely to make them love us, but to make them REALISE that they are 'valuable' beyond worthy! Love proves that right? Err...

13) Sometimes for a woman to help a man 'find his way and focus', she has to LOVE him from a distance...if he created the distance, He has 'lost' big time. If she consciously did, then he has a big chance of winning. DISCERN!

14) One of the biggest challenges in life is making DECISIONS when one is faced with 'numerous' choices. It may not be rocket science, but it can be simple maths. Hahaha. THINK the ratio of 'Plus' versus 'minus' and there's your ANSWER.

15) I have learned that most people tell LIES to avoid losing someone or something... While others tell the TRUTH to avoid losing themselves...

Sometimes you have to decide whether losing yourself is even worth the cost for keeping something or someone against their own true judgement. I believe you should speak the truth even if your voice shakes or what do you think lovelies?

Do Have A Terrific Tuesday! Hugs...Yes...And Err...Kisses!
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Monday, 17 March 2014

The Queen-Bitch Every Real Man Needs...

Hello Lovelies, hope you had a great weekend? Well, mine was a pool of revelation. While I was reading my friend Ashionye's Celebrity Guest Post again, I finally figured out the kind of woman a real man deserves...and I mean in the most realistic way (let's leave out all the cheesy books and magazines that tell you to screw him 20 times a day in a yoga position or cook his favourite meal with love, dot all over him, leave your cum in his mouth, or your panties as his pocket square and all the other silly tricks women have been brainwashed to believe) okay, I totally made these up, but you know what I mean right? hahahah. Men will just be men, right? Hmmm...

A male friend recently accused me of being a FEMINIST, even though I don't consider myself to be one, I don't see what's wrong in being that (my sister Chimamanda Adichie will agree...Yes o!). I do think though, that the word is a man's 'derogatory' way of referring to a woman with a keen 'Presence of Mind'.

In a brief conversation with an older male friend I ran into last week, he tried asking casually, what had happened to my 'short-lived' marriage...That's one question that always tends to leave me speechless. I mean how do you brush off a genuine thoughtful question...and how do you answer honestly without making yourself look like the VICTIM and the other person like the devil's incarnate. You dig? So I smile and say 'nothing happened' (my usual cool answer)...then he smiled and chipped in on my behalf "you were both incompatible" and I nodded my head like a pretty agama lizard in mute agreement. Hahahah! What a wise man. Lol.

Then he went in for the kill... "Anyway, I didn't even know you both got married until I saw a tabloid story on you. I didn't think you should have.... At least, not him. I know you Alex, you are too strong a woman, with two of your feet planted firmly on the ground. You know who you are and what you want and that will scare most men because most men are afraid of strong confident women."
Hmmm...the...brief pause...then he added... "Strong women like you will make the average man insecure, women like you need strong men who are confident, wise and exposed." Gbagaun! Bell rings...Aha! There it is...THE TRUTH...and it smells like my favourite Banga soup. Hmmm, i agree...(Now, I understand why I have a lot of respect for this man...Rare male genes) hehehe!

Okay, I do not apologise for knowing who I am, what I want or what I'm worth and I certainly won't apologise for any man's insecurity or weakness around me. And I don't think any woman like me should either. I do not consider myself a feminist because I believe I also cheer-lead for the 'Men Team' and I do want them to WIN regardless, but not at the expense of our 'womanly' dignity because I recognise how women are being treated and how much men undermine women. So if a good strong confident woman is labeled a FEMINIST simply because she has values that she expects every man to live up to and refuses to lower her standards just to fit in, then so be it.
I mean, any man who knows me well can not say, 'Alex' isn't respectful, kind, tolerant, loving, generous, amiable, hard-working, attentive, intelligent, beautiful and yes, HONEST...(I would leave bragging about my kitchen and bedroom skills to your imagination...but just so you know, I always aim for A+) he he he. So if I presume that I'm all of these things (okay let's include 'stubborn' and sometimes 'impatient') and I know it. Is it much of a wonder that I should carry myself with confidence and pride? Note I said 'pride' not 'arrogance'. Shouldn't I behave like the queen that I am?... Because I know that I would be valuable to any King I'm fortunate to be blessed with.

Hence we can now marry the terms: Confident Woman a.k.a The Queen a.k.a The Feminist a.k.a The Bitch...Yes The Bitch (and you know that's what they secretly call you once your men can't get their way with you....Hahaha). Thanks to my closest girlfriend Nthenya, she first blessed me early last year with an E-Copy of Sherry Argov's book "Why Men Love Bitches" which I in good turn shared with a few other female friends and then I stumbled in traffic miraculously on "Why Men Marry Bitches" and reading it only further proved what I already suspected and had learned the hard way...lol. But if there was one thing it ever did for me...Well, it helped me embrace "The Bitch" inside of me, and I'm loving it. Why? Because I've been the 'pretty miss nice' who over-compensated but still never got anything worthy for that (and let's be honest, playing 'miss nice' is boring. Men don't marry 'perfect'...perfect is boring. Men marry 'interesting' and only 'interesting' holds their attention FOREVER). I believe a bitch is an interesting piece of work and I would like to think of a BITCH as a (B)abe (I)n (T)otal (C)ontrol of (H)erself...Though Sherry's definition is thus;

Bitch (noun): "A woman who won't BANG her head against the wall obsessing over someone else's opinion - be it a man or anyone else in her life. She understands that if someone does not approve of her, it's just one person's opinion; therefore, it's of no real importance. She doesn't try to live up to anyone else's standards - only her own. Because of this, she relates to a man very differently... even if he's a king". Now I think every man wants to be treated as a KING. And the truth is that every King needs a Queen...actually I think every King needs a 'Queen-Bitch'. RIGHT! No longer are queens, women in beautiful ball gowns sitting pretty for their maid servant to tend to their every need whilst they wait behind the cubicle on all fours (doggy style) on the kings every whim. Lol.

The Modern Day Queen Bitch for me is a ballsy replica of India's Queen Jodha Bai (thanks to my love for indian soap operas. Hahaha)...armed with bows and arrows and can use a sword, shot-gun, maybe has a black belt in Tae-kwan-do or can throw a few punches if need be...(Not literally) lol. What I mean is that a woman needs to be a soldier. She needs to be STRONG, CONFIDENT, BRAVE, WISE and capable of 'supporting' her man...and having his back during battle, especially when he needs back-up in time of war. And by war, I mean the numerous day to day challenges we all encounter in the journey of life.

Many men lack the basic equipment to be in a relationship, I mean their attention span is worse than my 3 year old toddler and there's nothing the average woman can do to change it. But a Queen-Bitch will make him sit up tight like he's been chewing on viagra. Lol. Truly powerful people don't explain why they want RESPECT. They simply don't engage someone who doesn't give it to them. When we meet someone who is truly great, the person makes us believe we can be great, too. This is the kind of relationship everyone DESIRES, and it's the only kind of relationship worth having. In fact its the 'actual' kind that the Queen Bitch gives a man. She makes him 'realise' he can be great and that having her on his arm is added VALUE to his winning streak and she proves it.

A Queen Bitch is an independent thinker at all times, she ignores anyone who attempts to define her in a 'limiting' way. She's decides how she wants to be treated, chooses what she will or will not tolerate and she leaves...YES! if she doesn’t get the 'value' of what she puts in. She's not AFRAID to let a man see that she's happy with him but she can be just as happy having 'nothing at all' to do with him. She instinctively knows that if a man doesn't RESPECT her opinion, he won't respect her. She also knows that there's nothing more prized to a man than something he had to wait for, work for, or struggle a little bit to get. She knows with a woman he's crazy about, he will put in all the overtime in the world. No excuses, no complaints. He'll do anything for her, he'll be considerate, he'll want to please her, he'll try to cheer her up if she was down, and he will enjoy every moment spent in her company because she is the person he values most....

Her happiness. her health, her emotional stability are what comprises the measuring stick for her relationships and she doesn't care what a man thinks of her -- until he 'demonstrates' to her that he CARES about making her happy or else winning him over and trying to make him happy will have no real benefits to her in the long run. A Queen-Bitch is a complete solid woman whether 'single or married', who's not afraid to love a good man and go over the moon and back for his crazy butt... but will not think twice about KISSING his flat behind 'goodbye' if he messes up... Because she knows success in love isn't about looks or words, it's about his 'attitude' and the most attractive quality of all, will forever be her DIGNITY.

Have A Magnificent Monday Lovelies! Kisses
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Sunday, 16 March 2014

Alex's Audio Diary 7





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Saturday, 15 March 2014

Forbidden Love: Chronicles of My Obsession...

I hear a loud thud and I walk along to check who's knocking...so I open up and FUCK...its YOU right there in all your glory...staring at me, needing me, tempting me, wanting me to take you in my willing arms and make crazy passionate love to you as always. Hold on a second, didn't I say I was done with you? Didn't I tell you never to bring your lousy uncommitted self here to me again? Don't give me the 'goey poppy' eyed look. STOP IT!! I don't want you here...I don't want you breaking my resolve... I don't!

Still, you are peering at me with a knowing smile, one that's confident enough to shake me...maybe even break me till I CRUMBLE in your arms. So I flash back to the time, when you used to be mine. Those days when I could do with you whatever I please, wherever I wanted without a care in the world if someone was watching. Those times that I wanted you so bloody bad that I would take you in my mouth, and TASTE your sweetness till I was filled with your 'cream' devouring the WETNESS of my insides...and perhaps slip a little SCREAM from the pleasure we both created.

But I can no longer look at you that way my darling....or think of you burrowing my insides, filling up the vaccuum only you know how to. Dammit!!! This isn't fair. I WANT you but you are not even mine. I need you but this love is just a waste of time. You randomly show up and take me to cloud nine...I'm fulfilled for just a little while...then you leave and I'm empty again...What a big SHAME!

So I tap in for some strength inside my womanly harbour, the same strength I use to clutch an ORGASM in time of war. I shut the door in your face...then I hear the silly loud thud again...in the pit of my 'stomach'. I open up the door to have one last look at my NEMESIS...tempted still...but I'm a STRONG woman. I can say 'NO'... especially to a bloody bowl of ICE-CREAM. Hahahah...

Have A Relaxing Saturday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Friday, 14 March 2014

ASHIONYE MICHELLE RACCAH: The Way To A Woman's Heart!

I'm doing the 'Alingo' on a back flip (Hahaha....I fit?) hopefully I won't break my back out of super excitement cos it's Friday once again...And that means I get to rest my 'ink' just a little so someone else can share their thoughts. Its 'Celebrity Guest Post' Friday...And my 'CGP' Author for today is my friend and colleague, the multi-talented, intelligent, eloquent, confident, sexy, and Independent Woman - Ashionye Michelle Raccah: Actress, Singer/Songwriter, TV/Radio Presenter, Writer and Producer of the Multiple Award Winning Feature Film 'JOURNEY TO SELF'. And as a firm believer in female empowerment and lending her voice to social and domestic issues...Ashionye has a few advice for the men on how to win a woman's heart and keep it, even if she's yours already. Please read her thoughts and contribute as well...Here it is;

THE WAY TO A WOMAN'S HEART...

"I decided to write this because I believe a lot of men over time and maybe after years with their spouses or partners tend to relax and take for granted those little things they did to put a smile on that spouse’s face. Then when I hear a man complain about how his spouse has changed, I ask myself what he did to contribute to this. What can he do to remedy the situation?

You see, it is pretty simple. When a good woman loves a man, nothing else really matters and everything else is an addition. When a good woman loves a man, she would go to the ends of the earth to be with him whether he is well to do or not. When a good woman loves a man she would do anything to show him and keep him. If you noticed I said ‘a good woman’ because these days it could be a bit of an exercise to find a good woman. But that’s me digressing.

Now I don’t claim to be an expert but from a woman’s standpoint, I think a lot of relationships these days, suffer due to lack of the basics. What are the basics you ask? In the words of India Arie, It’s those little things and the joy they bring. Here are some tips that I believe will be helpful to men (and women alike).

A) The Listener: Nothing beats having your spouse listen to you when you talk about things like a stressful day at work, how long you spent in traffic on the way back home or even to your most boring stories. Giving her a listening ear shows that you are still there and that you care.

B) Spontaneity: Every woman likes a man who does the 'unexpected' and I don’t mean in a negative way. I mean things like buying her a nice gift or flowers occasionally without waiting for an anniversary or a birthday to do so. It doesn’t have to be an expensive gift all the time. It’s the thought that counts.
You might even consider surprising her by cooking dinner while she pops her feet up because she has been handling both her duties at work and at home and deserves a day off. If you are not a good cook, my advice would be to take her out to dinner. You don’t want her waking up in the middle of the night to fix herself a sandwich because she ate very little of your ‘over salted’ food with a smile just so she wouldn’t hurt your feelings.

C) Thank you: We all like to hear the words, ‘Thank you’. It shows we are appreciated for making efforts and doing something right. Try saying ‘Thank you for being there’ or ‘thank you for loving me’ or even ‘Thank you for taking care of our home and kids’ occasionally and meaning it. This shows how much she means to you and how much you appreciate her and her contributions to your family and home. Trust me it goes a long way; a lot more than you think.

D) A kiss and a hug: Sometimes, you don’t need words to express how you feel. Do it with a kiss and a hug. Enough said!

E) PDA: A little PDA (public display of affection) never killed anyone. So don’t be shy to show your love for your woman even in public. Doing so tells her you are not afraid to show the world how you feel about her even after years together.

F) Sex/Lovemaking: I have heard some men; including some of my single male friends say they can’t imagine having sex with one woman for the rest of their lives. To this, I say BULLSHIT!! If a woman can make 'sex' with you work for the rest of her live than why shouldn’t you? If you loved your woman enough to marry her, you should love her enough to respect her and keep your ‘little man’ committed to her alone. Sex was made to be fun and enjoyable for the two people involved especially when there is love. Find new and exciting ways to add magic to your sex life and you won’t get bored.
And there you have it; my few tips.

They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I say the way to a woman’s heart is through her heart. So guys, if you remember how you WON that woman’s heart the first time, don’t be afraid to do it all over and over again; and even better."

By Ashionye Michelle Raccah

Follow on:
Twitter: @ashionye
Facebook: Ashionye
Instagram: @ashionye

So what did you think about her thoughts? Do let me know...and oh, feel free to connect with 'Miss Ash' as I like to call her (and by that...you know I mean 'missus' cos she's taken. SORRY. Lol).

Have A Fantastic Friday Lovelies. Kisses!
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Thursday, 13 March 2014

Funny Pix: Mama-mia....Mama(sit)a!

This isn't fair, both Mama(s)itas are old enough to be my mother. So I can't even be disrespectful one tier....BUT(T) I can just mildly express my observation right?...hehehe.

1) This really isn't hard to figure...its pretty obvious they are both 'soccer' fans. One is a Chelsea Fan and the Other is an Arsenal Fan...(Abeg, which soccer fan no like attention for their personal club?...*sneeze).

2) If you're a heart broken man and your plan is to walk in to that bar to drink yourself silly...Biko, change of plans...i'll advice you consider throwing 'DARTS' at their 'butt cracks'. Its a far more interesting form of distraction to sooth your pain. Hahaha.

3) It's obvious the 'Red ukwu' is an old champion and can take down any 'erect' obstacles in its way.... but the 'Blue ukwu' seems to be a little out of practice....perhaps it needs some 'fanning'...err sorry...I meant TANNING....either way, we just need to give it some bloody veins. *wink.

4) Wait oh! What am I even saying?... these women are being proactive already...they are not even buying a drink. Why? Perhaps, they are waiting for a 'pick me up'. (Any victims with common interest? Yes we could talk all things footsie. In fact you can play in my park for free, just don't break my back)...hehehe

5) What better way to get a customer than with a big smile that says "Its Bootie-Camp Baby! Come One....Come All." ...Hian!

6) If TIMAYA ever needs to shoot another version of 'UKWU' video...i've found the perfect models...And oh! He wouldn't even have to pay. Hahahahah (my evil laughter).

7) Well for those who like 'old wine'... before you drink from the well, please take your broom along to sweep out the 'cobwebs'. We don't want your willy with willows. Now would we? Still i'll say a prayer for you. (*tongue out).

Wait oh, I have one nagging thought...Is this some silent battle for club supremacy? Please lovelies, which one of these two 'Mama(sit)as' is winning BAR-STOOL-BOOTIE-CAMP hands down? You do know they are not real right? Still, let me know what you think. Hahaha.

Have A Terrific Thursday Lovelies! Kisses.
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Wednesday, 12 March 2014

POMPEII....O Chineke!!

Hmmm...where do I start from? Okay, so an old friend wanted to drag me out to go see a movie. Since it was my birthday and honestly my social status has been a complete F9 since I had Ray...(I'm not blaming my son...I'm just saying. Lol)

Naturally in typical Alex fashion. I agreed and then cancelled. Hahaha. Not fair, I know... But dragging my perky butt anywhere other than work hasn't been an attractive idea lately....But I'm gradually working on getting myself back in to the social grind...Thanks to all the many invitations I am now forced to honour.

So anyway I eventually went out to see a movie with my dear friend who believes he is a movie buff and makes his movie choices based on said popular reviews (need I add that I think those reviews are word of mouth pretty much on nothing than other people's bad personal taste...hahaha). Well, he went on about this bad-ass historian flick 'POMPEII' he had been dying to see...hian! I would never pay to see that sorta movie in a cinema but #whadeheck...its free! I'm not spending my doe...so my complaints aren't valid...atleast for the options of making the right pick.

We go in and I'm blessed with a preview of a soon to be released Nollywood movie "RENDER TO CEASER" and I spot a bit of my very talented friends Bimbo Manuel, Omoni Oboli, Kalu Ikeagwu and co in it...and I'm thinking I'll rather be watching this... Then the opening credits of POMPEII start rolling and I'm thinking...oh wow! This is going to be interesting...seems like I'm really going to enjoy this (sigh of relief).

I am not a movie critic (abeg where is Tope Alake and the rest of 'em critics). I'm just a Television Actress with an eye and a sound mind...but even as a mere audience...whilst I loved looking into the somewhat smouldering eyes of the cute lead Actor Kit Harrington whom I hear is in (Game of Thrones...) and his amazing body or if you enjoy 6 feet-plus of hot chocolate...then Adewale Akinnuoye Agbaje is your man candy (I must say my eyes kept roving down his toned thighs, I can bet his buttocks is just as tight as his jaw) and I'll rather be running my fingers down his imaginary bare sweaty brown skin. Chei! (Fanning myself) "Atticus and Milo", una fu go ife! Yes, I love hot looking men and I will not apologise for it. Hahahah.

Ehen! Back to the real matter. So I'm watching this 3D-Historical Disaster movie that seems like a cheezy combination of the movie "Gladiator" and James Cameron's "Titanic" except the flood has been exchanged for a volcano. Hahahah...And yes I laughed quite a bit with the rest of the audience...except I was really laughing at the corny impression of some rather 'cliche' lines. I swear, I almost believed that Keifer Sutherland (the guy from '24' series) was PUNKING us all with his performance. Actually, I think Keifer, Kit, Agbaje...the entire cast plus the DIRECTOR must be having a damn good laugh at our expense.

I mean its funny when a British African has to fake an African accent and ends up sounding like he's got 'hot poundo-yam' in his mouth. Or the on-screen attraction between Kit and Emily browning that took place in 2 minutes and blossomed in 24 hours was a simple mimicry of a 'kindagarten play-date'. I mean how does anyone even watch a film where all the Actors are 'upstaged' by a bloody VOLCANO...with the eruption of Mount Vesuvius spewing endless shower of fiery 'asteroids' trailed by smoky plumes — and an apocalyptic show of fireworks that take down the entire city. Hian! The movie came across to me like a dusty relic with a ruthlessly rote romance that seemed nothing short of a bad foreplay leading up to a tragedy.

Even though I didn't want my 'Atticus' to die, the 'best part' for me was the rather EPIC ending...hahahah...Even, my friend Olu agrees. After all the merry-go-round...trust me, you'll be grateful it only lasts 104 minutes...but hey! Don't take my word for it, go see it and let me know what you think. Thank goodness for the glass of 'long island' cocktail, I am able to wash down some of my disappointment...with hands a top my head singing POMPEII...O CHINEKE! Hian! I shall rest my case o. Lol.

Enjoy The Rest Of Your Wednesday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Who Is Lupita Nyongo? Abeg, Park Well...

Now that the Lupita Nyogo phenomenon is quietly losing its drone, I can spit my own 12 bars and be heard. Before anyone rains curse on me and accuses me of bad-belle, let me first make it clear that these are ALEXANDRA's naked thoughts...and oh! I simply say the TRUTH, the way I think it. Hahahah. Ehen! So, this is not one of those commentary. In fact I'll love to slap myself for even attempting to give this subject some more bearing, but its been a headline thought roving my mind for the last week...and you know me na, I get restless till I speak my mind. GBAM!

I'm quite surprised the 'Lupita Nyongo' WORSHIP CENTER hasn't sprung up with young men and women bowing before a shapely statuesque image of hers, worshipping the ground on which she walks or serving burnt offering to the Oscar-Giving-God in which she serves. Hahahah.

First of all, I would like to acknowledge what a tremendous achievement it is, for a young African Woman all the way from kenya to win an oscar...and I can appreciate it 

1) As an African
2) As a Young Woman
3) As an Artist who's also polishing my own artistry and finding my grounds as an Actor.

But wait oh! Kenyans have already proven they no dey carry last. Wasn't Barrack Obama's 2-time presidential win a testimony to that or the fact that they swept more awards at the AMVCA's this past weekend. So what's new about Kenyans doing the impossible?...mbok!!

I can understand why the world went agog or even why the foreigners have bought into her glory. Its not every day they are graced with the presence of a true African goddess...so yes, I get it. But what I don't get is why we Africans are so fickle and have used that as a spring board to torment each other rather than to inspire one another.

Its quite hilarious thinking of the many social media status updates, DP's, articles and broadcast messages generally praising her whilst tearing others down. How can you put up a picture of her and insinuate that her skin colour, short her and no make-up is the reason for her new found success (rolling my eyes...even my 3 year old son knows better) and women who can't emulate her are threading the path of failure. Na wa o. So any Actress who is light skin, wears make up or human hair will never win an oscar?...Seriously, how daft can we be? Hahahaha!

Or is it the 7 shades of Lupita in several different colours of designer evening gowns worn to some of the awards and pre-award/post award events she attended, all of a sudden becoming a statement of her impeccable fashion genius...soon she won't be able to wear her tattered jeans and cropped top to the kilimanjaro hills when she visits her home land ...lol. They make it seem like she was chilling in her 'country home villa' scrambling for her daily scrumbs when a Downtown Hungry Kenya Movie Marketter gave her a miraculous opportunity and her SUPERB performance soared his production into 'glorious limelight' and...Ta da....(bells ringing) they landed on oscar stage. Hehehe. Hian!

In my humble opinion, all of these fawning are just unnecessary pressure that the world has placed on her shoulders by putting her on a pedestal where the world will aptly expect her to deliver by any means necessary and the salacious gossip will erupt...Hopefully, that won't become the backlash of 'super-stardom'. Whilst I know that winning an oscar is a pretty GRAND way to announce ones arrival to the big league...it is not the be-it-all, know-it-all of ones career longevity. I have known a few oscar winners to drop off the face of the earth (not literally...hahaha...) but their careers died a sudden painful death soon after they won the oscars.

So my next question is, can she keep up with all the hype? Can she top her performance in '12 years a slave', or is this just a case of another one hit wonder? Does she have that many casting options or will she just be type-cast and continue to act as a slave or some poor African ? Perhaps the massai warriors in her villa have been doing a great deal of fasting and chanting on her behalf, hence lady luck conspiring with great timing.

I read a facebook article posted by our own Emma Ugolee and at first It struck a chord (I mean, you can't help but notice how intelligent his write ups are even though I personally think some sting with a bit of arrogance that sometimes come off as malicious...hehehe)...but after taking a few minutes to internalise the depth of its sting. I felt there was a bit of hole somewhere. Have you read her Wikipedia Biography? My Babe considers herself to be 'African-Mexican' from a middle class suburban family. Her father was a former Minister for Medical Services in the Kenya Government. They travelled quite a lot, she was educated in the United States and currently lives in New York . Does that seem like the average standard of the regular Actress in Africa? Ha! I bow o. It is one thing to congratulate someone on their success and its another thing to use that person's achievement to ridicule everyone else. I mean, the guy who invented facebook is someone's mate, even Donald Trump sef. How would you feel if I compare you with your mates who are achievers around the world even when I know everyone's circumstance and destiny are different?

I agree that some of our celebrities have bought into their own hype and focus way too much on their media presence as opposed to the quality of work they churn out or how much real impact they make. I AGREE! But for someone to claim that not a single one of the Nollywood Actors are as big as Lupita is rather silly comparison to make. I mean, Leonardo Di Caprio has never won an Oscar. Popular Rom-Com Actor, Matthew Mcconaughey (who by the way nobody took seriously) just won his first major award (Oscar) in the 23 years of his career, So abeg, why should it be shocking that my Sister, Genevieve Nnaji or my Coach RMD hasn't gotten a shot at it yet? For pete sake, Lupita won best supporting actress for a great film...In other words if that film didn't have the right production team or the right content to garner international attention, even if she is the best actress in the entire world, she will never have smelled a nomination. I mean (allow me to be a little brutally honest) A producer gives an opportunity to a young budding actress who is hungry for success and honestly needs very little help in passing off as a slave, to ACT as a slave and we are surprised by its success, Chai! In fact, Lupita wasn't the only one in "12 Years A Slave" to get a nomination...Chiwetel Ejiofor did as well as the director? Do you now get it?

So to compare her talent to a Joke Silva, Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde, Nse Ikpe etim, Stella Damasus, Lydia Forson, Yvonne Okoro or my Ebube Dike himself, Pete Edochie who by the way I think are amazing actors, even better actors...is rather myopic because it doesn't take 'one person' to create a good film...it takes more than just the 'actor' to give a movie sone credibility... so, expecting a 'BLACKBERRY BABES ' (no disrespect meant) or an 'ABUJA CONNECTION' to gather oscar attention is even STUPID. Not until we start to create the right kind of stories/content that will appeal to the international media will we have an opportunity to have our own shine at that podium. So yes, I do congratulate my #AwesomePisces mate "Lupita" on her big win...I agree that her win is testimony that no matter where one comes from, ones DREAMS are valid. Still I know SUCCESS is not simply about attaining it, it is more about MAINTAINING it. So, YES! While we are still ploughing our breakthrough here , I'm silently watching her...Abi, what do you think lovelies?

Have A Terrific Tuesday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Monday, 10 March 2014

The Metamorphosis From Girl To Woman...

Oh mehn! Jingle bells, jingle bells...jingle all the way...oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse o...oh shit! That's a christmas carol, right? Hahahah...I'm sorry. You see, how awkward it is fawning over my own birthday. I don't even know what to sing to myself.

Yaaay! Its the 10th of March...the day this 'queen' was birthed 30 years ago...AHA! So whilst I opened my eyes expecting the chariot that was meant to pick me up from my bedroom to the bathroom to have my royal shower... I realised none arrived. I peak at my reflection in the mirror hoping for some magnificent change that may have occurred on my skin, the last 24 hours... I saw none. I'm checking my bed-side hoping for some ridiculously huge diamonds that may have magically turned up from a 'mysterious' prince charming seeking my love eternally. Hian! None in sight! Lol.

So I turn 30 years old today and my mole is pretty much still where it used to be. My breasts haven't reduced that much and oh my bank account is still bloody FLAT. What's going on na? Isn't this the 'Super-30' that's been making me antsy and giving me sleepless nights eh? The milestone that has had me checking every minute detail of my life so far?... Yes na! Where I get a thumps up or where I need some good ass spanking (get your minds out of the gutter... Hahaha...I mean the kinda spanking my mother used to give me when I was a teeny weeny toddler).

Dang! I have been taking stock of this 'store' I call my life...Pheeww! Its been a long bumpy rideeeeee. This little girl has experienced far too many things that will make even a 70 year old woman's cheeks 'flush' in embarrassment. But I'm grateful to God for opening my eyes, my heart and imparting wisdom that came on the wings of some of these experiences.

I've made a few mistakes...but wha-de-heck, I've made some great ACHIEVEMENTS as well...And that's what I want to celebrate, my 'Metamorphosis from Girl to Woman'. The immense growth I've acquired on the journey to self discovery. Have I reached my destination? Absolutely not!! I'm still in hot grimmy pursuit of HAPPINESS, even though I may have grown 'cold' trying to convince LOVE that I'm willing and ready. I have come to. accept that I am a born ARTISTE, I am no 'pushover', I am in no 'competition' with anyone but myself, I will always stay TRUE to my own beliefs and most importantly, I will never settle for less than I deserve cause I'm cut from the finest SILK fabric...And that's my final WORD on that!

I have wondered so many times how I could have let someone change the course of my life and distract me a little from a budding acting-career or how I allowed myself to take several detours without checking where those routes would lead to....Now, I have nobody to blame but myself, cos I made a few wrong CHOICES in the past. But guess what, I'm BACK older and waaaay WISER! I will NOT wonder if there are many who are as multi-talented or if anyone can be as passionate or dedicated to one's Art as I am or if I even need the stamp of approval from others to feel some-what worthy. I will NOT wonder why I haven't met my outlined goals set for when I turn 30 (abeg, forget the dream house, dream husband and the fabulous 2 kids) Ha! I will not wonder because I know I'm not the only one who feels this way on their birthdays, but if you listened to my Audio Diary 6 "Growth Versus Aging"... I have decided I will not focus on the small foolishness of adding another year..."The Fear of Aging"...instead, I shall concentrate on my Growth...

My last birthday, I didn't have this forum to express myself, I knew nothing about blogging neither did I ever suspect I would challenge myself so intensely. I didn't know I could use my mobile phone to create, design and develop a blog all by myself whilst still creating the content, neither did I know anything about java-scripts, applications, programmes or the intense social (ashawo) networking I've had to force myself to do in the last 50 days. Hehehe.

I am a single mother raising my child, running a home, paying my bills (even if they are sometimes late or difficult to) and respecting myself in the process. Is my life an 'owambe' party? Err...mba nu! But I'm yet to sell my dignity for 'kobo-kobo' aseobi that I will eventually use to mop the floor. Am I magically gracing the streets of every neighbourhood, hoping I will find some worthy 'customers' I can polish their TORSO or massage their 'waist' to rid myself of my growing responsibilities? Err...No!

Am I unduly courting the press, striking some hot 'photoshop' friendship with any set of 'A' class- celebrity cliques or kissing some dirty smelly 'cocks' to please the streets... And hopefully pray to get noticed. Hahaha!...how does that change the price of Pampers in the market? Oya! I'm not calling out the group of 'fake it till you make it', or those who've bought into their own HYPE and feel they are actually more important than they really are, or those who care more about the number of TWITTER followers, re-tweets or mentions they get rather than focus on the number of lives they actually touch or influence positively. Do you think you can inspire people just by pilfering quotes and pasting them on your social networks or websites? Or you think the number of movie posters you've saturated or music album covers you've sold automatically translates to the number of lives that depend on you for growth or you think your responsibility as a leader is simply relegated to chopping our tax payers funds while you do us "the more you look, the less you see". Eweee!!

Well, in the challenging world of today I have realised that...You can't just 'speak' inspiration, you have to BE inspiration...You have to be courageous enough to let people into your world to share in your defeat, as well as your triumph... And you don't need to be an 'A' class overtly hyped 'mufu' celebrity to be influential (Lol). This is the beginning of my own year (abeg january na beginning of calendar year) and hopefully that's the major goal of this blog ALEXANDRA N' HER NAKED THOUGHTS! to inspire and provoke your thoughts with my musings, no matter how random, raunchy or raucous it seems.

So 'thank you' to the gentleman friend who woke me up at 3am to sing a beautiful birthday medley and showered upon me, powerful birthday wishes or the many who have wished me well on facebook, twitter, BBM, Whatsapp and the many other social networks I TRY to interact on. Its words of people like these that remind me of my genuine PURPOSE in life and where I'm going to. I realise I have nothing to be ashamed of, I mean...I've done pretty well for a 30 year old woman...And for that I'm absolutely PROUD of myself so far....So if you're also proud of my Metamorphosis from Girl to Woman...Say Aye! Aye! And cling your 'virtual' glass of champagne. Lol. Remember, nobody said the journey will be easy...but if you're on the right track, it will be WORTH it for 'SHIZZLE' (Hahahah...sorry, i had to add that for effect...abeg make I act like small pikin joor). You know the drill na. Please (in my crispy oyinbo accent) Don't forget to comment and share. Lol.

Have An Absolutely Magnificent Monday Lovelies! And oh! I love you...Plenty Kisses!!!
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