Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Let's Talk About Sex Baby!

It has been said many times that I write about SEX and that's what my blog is majorly about....which I'm usually forced to correct such myopic views (check my header) Love, Inspiration and Life come way before it. Lol....Errr, I do NOT write about sex....okay I  do 'sometimes' (hahaha)....but more often than not, the sweet SENSATION of shaft merged in juicy cunt grinding to its rythym is RARELY my subject....even though the language is sometimes my MEDIUM.... Lol. (I just love the play on words).

And whilst I've adopted a language that may sometimes make a 40 year old WINCE....I can't help but wonder what the hula-bula is all about. Since when did the subject of sex become a TABOO amongst adults? Ehen oh! Biko nu, tell me....because if you are over 23.... I can almost bet my very perky left BREAST that you are rolling in the hay and testing all your sound levels....even if you're not a SCREAMER.

Still for a non-screamer like me, I have been known to start my own one-woman CHOIR, somewhere in between 'grind and climax'....with my "ooh...aah! holy fuck..." topping the chart and getting mixed REVIEWS from busy body neighbours.....(hehehe).... pretending they don't get down and dirty with MUD all over their mouth....Shuo!

Anyway, unless you're a ROBOT living in jupiter....which by the way, my blog isn't meant for your COLD ass. Hehehe. I shall use this fabulous opportunity to invite all red-blooded humans PEEKING through this post hoping to spot something that remotely resembles an ERECT nipple, to open their interesting minds....so that we can mentally SCREW each other senseless.

Why is this DREADED phenomenon  such a huge taboo in the African society? Why are my people tip-toeing NAKED, yet hoping... people are too blind to notice? Why can't we openly ENGAGE each other in an intellectual conversation about SEX and for once DEMYSTIFY it ....break it all into pieces and chew the crumbs (No spitting).

Isn't it little wonder why there are too many PERVERTS, pedophiles and sexual predators hanging loosely around our coy cloud of ignorance ....maybe even more FRIGID men and women in UNHAPPY relationships who keep avoiding to tell IT like it is... because we have refused to EDUCATE ourselves about sex or even permit our minds to RATIONALISE the many issues bordering around it without appearing like a sex ADDICT on crack.

Who's fault is it that Mama Bisi lays like a LOG of mahogany wood whilst her husband is plying through her dry patched PUSSY? Don't smirk...you think this is dirty? Well, true sex lovers, know there's nothing clean about GRITTY sex. Is it when your partner mistakenly leaks a FART in the middle of action or she spills a little breast MILK as you mildly grasp her nursing nipples...or he BAPTISES you with slimy PRE-CUM juice...as he wipes your entire butt crack with his SALIVA...and eats your hairy SNATCH like he's breaking a fast and your CLIT is chicken wings. Eewww....stop making a DISGUSTING face....You closet freak! You like it! Hahahah.

Well...my people are set in their ways. They don't like to TALK about issues that challenge societal norms or alleviate ignorance. We'll rather PRETEND certain things never happen....like if we turned off the radios, videos, cleared the streets off hoes...there'll be no more 'hanky-panky' on a down-low. (As in....). Little wonder why sex is one of the FUNDAMENTAL reasons why couples break up...(either one party isn't getting ENOUGH, not getting GOOD enough or the other is getting way too MUCH elsewhere ). Yet, NOBODY wants to talk about how it was or how it could be...or how it is and how it really should be. 

Now, our MOTHERS never said a thing about this. They never taught us women  to EMBRACE our sexuality...In fact we are not supposed to feel physical PLEASURE (Ha! You spoilt brat. I see your future) ...cut...cut..cut...CIRCUMSIZED cut...We are just a tool....Remember? Don't blame us, if we lay down like stark of WOODS...We are not TRAINED to wiggle our waists....and we were never taught  to take your fat COCK in our mouth and SUCKLE for dear life...without leaving evidence of our TEETH tracks burrowing your veins. Hehehe...

We know nothing about the G-spot, A-spot....Abeg, this one no be SPORT.  How many rounds please? Did FATHER teach you a little about foreplay?....My Guess is NO! You learned on your own how to score your GOALS.

"Pussy, Cock....Mercy, Fuck"....This is not FRENCH. Let's play a riddle and wipe the whole STENCH. Duh! 

Why not educate our little ones and help them UNDERSTAND their bodies as we stylishly curb their curiosity to EXPERIMENT? Why not teach them how to manage their desires and protect their bodies from UNWANTED predators? Why smirk every time we see a GRAPHIC description of sex and turn up our noses in foul disdain? Hian!

Maybe it's because we are all bloody HYPOCRITES who are too fucking scared to rise above the poor STANDARDS we've created, hence we PRETEND simple 'talking' permits us to be 'sexually reckless'... so much that we allow the silly FEAR hinder us from the POSITIVITY that may arise in being VOCAL. 

Well, if you're not one of them messed up hypocrites....then you know all things addressed are CONQUERED.  I say how about we shuffle to the classic melody of SALT-N- PEPA "Let's TALK about sex..."...I still find that song culturally relevant even today. Hehehe.

NOTE : Join Me In My Effort To Change The World With My Empowering Thoughts. If You Like Today's 'Raw And Unfiltered'....Then Don't Forget To Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot).

Got A Question? Feel Free To #AskAlexHere. If You Want Some Talk Therapy Instead, Then Take Advantage of my Private One-on-One and Book an appointment with #AskAlex using SetMore NOW!!!

Have A Terrific Tuesday Lovelies! Kisses! 

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Monday, 28 April 2014

Alex's Audio Diary 12

Some parents and adults take "spare the rod, and spoil the child" a little too literally that it makes me wonder if inflicting pain in the form of discipline isn't child abuse. Well, I say "Use The Rod, And Create A Monster?" Listen to my audio and let me know your thoughts about beating a child...

Feel Free To Share Your Thoughts, Rate it And Share This Audio with Others. Have a Magnificent Monday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Saturday, 26 April 2014

Bullet Proof Love On The Cards!

My cousin was complaining about his RELATIONSHIP with his girlfriend (the main squeeze) hehehe...and as far as he is concerned....WOMEN are complicated and he could never understand them.  To him, she keeps harping that she isn't getting what she NEEDS....despite him showering her with gifts and his time...whenever he can (Oh! Let's not add the other 2 side chicks whom I presume she already suspects are in the picture).

Still regardless of a man's shortcomings....A Woman who CARES will tolerate, support and appreciate her man... if and only if he deals her the right cards by giving her the kind of love she needs. (Note: I said 'need'.... not 'want'). 

She needs the 'BULLET PROOF' kind of love... Devoid of many doubts, confusion and insecurities.

The kind that recognises that LOVE is a full time job, and sees obstacles as opportunity to drive itself.

The kind that shows you are willing to fight for her and BRAVE enough to win the battle.

The kind that says you are not AFRAID to make her yours and stand by that commitment no matter what...

The kind that shows you've GROWN up to become a man who has 'mastered' his own mind.

The kind that compromises on preference and SACRIFICES some interests.

The kind that knows if he CHEATS her, he is only cheating himself off something precious...

The kind that is SOLID as rock, FLUID as ocean, PRECIOUS as diamonds, soft as wool and FIRM to boots.

The kind that is DECISIVE and will stand the many tests of time.

The kind that will choose her, again and again...and again. The one that NEEDS her only.

EVERY 'self-respecting' man should give a woman that kind of 'bullet proof' love. The kind that RE-ASSURES  her that no matter what happens....she is completely SAFE under his wings!

Have A Restful Saturday Lovelies! And Feel Free To Share. Kisses!
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Friday, 25 April 2014

What's In A Wife?

Someone sent me this photo a year ago and I honestly couldn't help laughing at the outrageous tee-shirt. The mnemonics were funny enough to WET my eyes and WARM my heart....but somewhere at the back of my mind...I couldn't help feeling that in REALITY, this was the truth....Many a wives have been reduced to everything on that Tee-Shirt and have lost the lustre of being a Man's crowning glory.

I know that a WIFE is one of man's REWARDS for being faithful and obedient to God! Yet many of us, women have supposedly blocked our ears to him...and have taken it upon ourselves to hitherto reward men who are NEITHER that...simply because of the pressure of being LONELY and the biased judgement we get from society.

And then we wonder why we are very unhappy?... Why is that we aren't VALUED or fulfilled? Why is that he treats you like nothing but a glorified SERVANT? If only he understood what you mean to his SUCCESS and his growth, he wouldn't physically HURT, cheat or take you for granted. If only you showed him from the very start,  what you are WORTH and why you won't TOLERATE his bullshit. 

If only you showed him how BEST to love you and how much VALUE you place on your emotional sanity. If only he knew your real worth...that you are there to bring STABILITY to his life....And should be treated like a QUEEN and the C.E.O of the household. That you are his backbone and his SUPPORT system. ...that love is about GIVING, not receiving. That love puts focus on the other person's SATISFACTION and happiness, not his.  And you will give anything except your DIGNITY before he depletes you and leaves you EMOTIONALLY BANKRUPT. Perhaps its because we CHOOSE for ourselves, who God may not have chosen for us, had we given him the chance and listened to him. And more often than not, those who treat us bad...do so because they know that we are willing to put up with it. (Trust me, I've been there).

Still "He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the lord" Yes!  (But the bible didn't say...."She who finds a husband"...) So KEEP CALM and wait, if you are single. Don't let society PRESSURE  you into thinking you have to seek out the men, woo them, perhaps propose and take all that crap? When a man treats you bad...you have to first take RESPONSIBILITY  for choosing the wrong man and secondly, for giving him the power to hurt you.

It doesn't matter if you're a SINGLE mother, Divorced, Separated or Widowed.... All that matters is how you see yourself and what you think you deserve. There's someone out there for you as long as you remember that "A wife is a gift"... so spend your WAITING period on becoming the best possible GIFT you can be...But If you're already Married and unhappy, it's time to be your own HERO and take back your POWER. Let's see if a truly DESERVING man will be that STUPID to pass you over or keep treating you bad. 

Have A Fantastic Friday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Wednesday, 23 April 2014

Are You Frustrated?

Hey Lovelies, for all those who have been surprised that I have a VOICE that nudely speaks, and have been asking "What's my inspiration? What did I drink? Am I high on something?" I promise VODKA is not responsible. And none of what I write is clearly me...(Yeah right). Hahaha!

My ALTER ego, 'Alexandra Boobilicious' chooses to come out during the MOMENTS when I'm broke, confused, angry, antsy, sad or just frustrated with my community and it's leaders...and I have to engage HER to keep me from robbing a bank, throbbing my boobs in some random man's face or sticking my nipples in the eyes of our leaders (note: I said 'eyes' not mouth) you dig? hahahah. 

I don't know what's going on with the circulation of MONEY in this country...I can't even get all those owing me for jobs done, to pay up...yet some people get 80 brand new car GIFTS for wedding presents. Hian! People are dying everyday and I'm yet to understand if our leaders know that SECURING our lives is one of their major responsibilities...High school kids that were KIDNAPPED are still missing...to think that 14 years ago, I was a high school student in boarding school and that could have been ME....Choi! Most of the gas stations in my neighbourhood have refused to sell PETROL and I have to travel a bit of distance to buy a litre at #110...and no one is talking about this. Forget the ARTISANS in this country....they play you the more you look, the less you see...(hopefully my wacked-out mechanic can get my car ready before my radio interview on Saturday).....I saw three SUV drown in the Sunday FLOOD and a little boy died....because of bad drainage....And all I could think of was my little Ray. I've been cheating on SLEEP lately and it's starting to tell on me...(little bags creeping under my beautiful smoky eyes) Lol...If only my 'so-called-manager' (who by the way, I just dumped) was doing his own part of the job. (But no! People like to chill for the PASSIONATE ignoramus to do all the work...while they hang around for the benefits when it comes). And then, I just found out someone is impersonating me on facebook...using my pictures and my son's to scam others. Phewww... I can go on and on....and on....

But if you like me to have a glass of 'SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP', you have to be willing to pay. Yes! I collect CASH, brains or comments ...oops got enough brains, cash please! In high denomination, if I may add....or just fill in my COMMENT box. 

Are you as frustrated as I am with the way things are going in this country? Share your #FRUSTRATIONS with me. Let's ease each others pain....until we get leaders who care! Feel free to explore #VentYourFrustration here today. I'm Listening...

Have a Cerebral Orgasmic Wednesday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Tuesday, 22 April 2014

Alex's Audio Diary 11

Ever wondered why some women might be losing sexual interest in their partners? Perhaps it's because some men have simply refused to "TURN UP THE SEXUAL CHARM" and pay more attention to what's lagging on their part, preparation-wise. You might need to LISTEN to today's audio.

Feel free to share your thoughts as always and share this post with anyone who may value it. Have A Terrific Tuesday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Saturday, 19 April 2014

The Acts Of Love!

A journalist asked me in a little interview last week about EASTER and what the season meant to me....I told him that the season signified TRUE LOVE which is the reason God gave up his son for our salvation. It takes only a truly loving person to make that sort of sacrifice....And though I've always felt he is the true replication of GENUINE Love and the foundation upon which humane love should be built....I see people using and abusing love. I see people who don't know that love is SACRIFICE. That love is giving and FORGIVING.

"I love you" is now the NEW 'hello' and 'goodbye'...to the point where EVERYONE is falsely loving everybody....and 'LOVE' has lost its meaning and value.

It has become so CONTRIVED and misused that its very difficult to understand its many contextual applications.

And I have simply FAILED to understand why so many people use the name of 'Love' in vain. And yes, they do.

"Love is kind, Love is patient, Love is not boastful, love is not jealous, love keeps no records of wrong doing, it bears no evil. it doesn't insist on its own way..." Isn't that what the bible says? Yet many times, none of their FALSE proclamation of love matches any of these...

So before you confuse your 'LUST' for love, or refute your love in denial. If you truly love someone:

1) All you WANT is for them to be happy, even if deep down, all you want is for you to be their happiness.

2) You will MAINTAIN the bonds of love... (Trust, Understanding, Sacrifice)

3) You will APPRECIATE the similarities and also respect the differences.

4) You will UNDERSTAND that sometimes for a new relationship to grow, you have to LET certain old relationships take the back seat.

5) You will STAND for, stand with, stand by the other person, even in the most ackward or difficult situation.

6) Your 'spiritual' BOND will be just as important as your emotional/physical bond.

7) You will be FAITHFUL, because two of the many potrayals of love are CONTENT and SELF-CONTROL.

8) You will understand that to APOLOGISE does not always mean you are wrong. It just means that you VALUE your relationships more than your ego.

9) You will remember...PAIN makes people change. So don't HURT them if you don't want them to change.

10) They may give you many REASONS to walk away. But If you truly love them, you will always FIND one reason to make you stay.

P.S: Don't let people lose their FAITH in love just because your ACTIONS don't match your expressions. If you don't mean it, don't say it. If you feel it, then ACT like it.  God has performed the greatest act of love. The least we can do, is extend that love to others.

Have A Restful Easter Saturday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Friday, 18 April 2014


If you thought the NIGERIAN creative industry is filled with semi-talented artistes with a penchant for attention and a lack of cerebral assertion... Then hopefully, my 'CELEBRITY GUEST POST' page has been able to prove you wrong. I'm pretty excited to share with ALEX'S BLOG COMMUNITY (ABC), this EXCLUSIVE guest post by my friend and colleague, the Multi-talented Actress, Writer, Singer and Entrepreneur, the Beautiful BAYRAY MCNWIZU...Here's her guest post below;


"I am on the SET of a very influential movie maker, a woman I've waited over 8years to work with...so you can imagine my "SUPRISE" and a moment of almost parking in the middle of  the lane on Third Mainland Bridge amidst honking when I got a call from her studios.

And for all them, who are about to turn up their cute noses and say "Aha, there you go, Celebrities are not above the Law"...Honest to God, it was a hands free call...the type you may have seen on the Kardashians. Hahahah. Lie!
But truly...I fear Fashola!

So.... Here I am nervous as hell writing this , can you tell?...cuz we all know how amazing Alex's brain is, something I've repeatedly begged her to loan me and she politely declined, breaking my heart, but i'll live, i promise.

But its amazing, how nervous I was to get that call from AMAKA IGWE's STUDIOS (AIS), couldn't SLEEP the whole night and the next day i'm at the studios, viola! Today,we are creating a 'Grey's Anatomy' thingy and almost done now and with all the nouveau gone I can't wait to loosen these BRAIDS I once loved.
Funny, but that is not the point.

Every lady and man on that set has a kid or two .Single, never married... And seriously not searching. Except for my amazing friend Omotu with her lithe legs and wasp waist...hmm...when will Omotu...? Story for another day. Yes, these are my colleagues. Cast and crew. The guys are ambitious, hard working, funny, easy to be with, smell very nice and well to do. I know you might say..."Yeah...so?" And truly "yeah so" ?. Hahaha. But that is the point right there.

You might be the open minded type that understands...but the majority are a bit otherwise. Everyone leaving in glass houses, THROWING stones at each other and occasionally we see ever so slightly, things that we can't make out fly out through the CRACKS and when someone throws a rock, well fed vultures and bats that have been skillfully HIDDEN fly out. Hmmm....

How can these be? The gods must be LIVID! Isn't this...? Yes I thought so...IT IS Africa. A society that boasts of its Moral uprightness, never -makes -a-mistake-for-we-are-next -to -God'ness. Hmm....Its a bit unsettling, how we PRETEND everything is 'amazing' when its DECAYING...how we cover a wound and try to dispel the ODOUR, how we sweep  garbage under our carpets and wonder how,where and why roaches dared to invade your pretty, holy SANCTUARY of a home. The nerve of a roach!"

The PRETENCE ....gosh...Our pretense is worrisome. Is it an African thing? Is it a Nigerian thing? Just look everywhere and you can almost smell the STENCH of decay but hey...just a bit of perfume and we can ENDURE for it is better to die in silence than to SURRENDER your "shame" after all, you are "THE CHOSEN ONE". Better not bring their delusion to light. Now...this is not to say "Look on me...BAYRAY, the Holy and unstainable one"....this is not to say we are all MORALLY decadent. I use "moral decay"for lack of a better word. All you have to do is notice the children at the mall (could send a priest into coma). Notice the trends of semi nudity (in the times before these women would have been burnt alive). Notice the abortion rates (when all these beautiful girls need is counseling and useful attention), theft of babies, when...all some woman or man needs to know is that, you're not less a person and ADOPTION is okay, the married woman who willfully commits adultery...etc...Notice how the unnatural becomes the USUAL. Be honest, even you did notice. Hmm...

Hey...Everyone has a past. Everyone is hurting. And everyone needs Medicine. Real, unhypocritical medicine. EVERYONE. Things are going wrong. And many of us don't feel RIGHT. So naturally, we seek help. We need to TALK about it and DO something about it. For you, for me, for tomorrow.

The hypocrisy is tiring and we are T-I-R-E-D. And that is the silent truth.

Take off THE MASK.
IT -is-okay. IT -IS-okay. IT-IS- OKAY. Simple and short.
I can tell you that because I tell myself the same.
Too many cracks...
So much imbalance... I want a BETTER life for those that are little
and yet unborn. And no,they don't have to go to AMERICA to get it.

Man...It is okay. Woman...it is okay.
"You wont DIE when you try to LIVE"...Trust me, I've been there..."


Follow on:
Twitter: @bayraymcnwizu
Facebook: Bayray Mcnwizu
Email: Mcnwizubayray@gmail.com

What do you think about her thoughts? I thought it was a pretty compelling call to action on embracing a 'presence of mind' which has been one of the major goals of creating this blog...And oh! I think she's amazing (yes ke). Anyway, feel free to share your thoughts and don't forget to share this post with others. We all need to take off our MASKS.

Have A Fantastic Good-Friday Lovelies! And Happy Easter in Advance...Kisses!
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Thursday, 17 April 2014

Funny-Pix: Signs....And Bedroom Wonders!

Hey Lovelies, Thursday is here again...and though we are caught up with lots of responsibilities and the added pressure of our daily activities...its okay to take a few minutes for some good laugh.

My sense of humour may sometimes bother on wacky and whilst a picture may not always be over-the-top-ridiculously-in-your-face-funny. I love to find the hidden humour in everything.

I've seen several random funny pictures of church signs here in Africa ... But nothing like I'm about to share. I stumbled on these UNINTENTIONALLY yet sexual church signs surfing away at buzzfeed.com. And it caught my attention. Its funny how complex the English language is, that it may give a new CONTEXT to a seemingly innocent statement. Or perhaps they know that sex sells. Hahahah. Just had to share my thoughts on them! Have a good laugh!

#1) Ehen! Good question... biko, how often do you? What? Err...Fill in the gaps! Whaaaat! How in Heaven’s name is that even your business? What a sign!

#2) Imagine! 10am and wet... I can just picture a hub of sexually aroused men and women READY to scream and shout in worship. Haven't you heard, morning SEX is the best! Taaaaa!!!

#3) Amen!!! That's all I can say...May you SURELY find the person who accepts the QUICKIE you are! Hehehe.

#4) Oh no! I'm still a little confused at how the 'missionary position' has become somewhat kinky? Still if you are BORED. Any sex is better than NO sex...Ah! I get it now! Hahahah.

#5) Hahahah! Whaaaat?! Jesus was a man of many talents...but he aint no 2-Chains...neither was he raised by black parents...Why do I feel like I can hear 'Tyler Perry's' MADEA behind that sign? Either the congregation needs some ass whooping or they neeeeed some bad ass whooping! Err...leave me joor. Go figure! Lol.

#6) This one, I plead guilty! I've never hidden that I'm the religious type...But I guess screaming "Oh God" in bed doesn't make me more a christian than screaming "Yes, give it to me baby" will...Duly Noted!!! Hehehe.

#7) Oh Brother!! (in my fake ghanaian accent) A tongue has been known to do many mischievous things o...Even a blind man who can't read your sign, knows that! Mschewww!

#8) Ehen! With what? If I may ask....(You better zip up sharp sharp before I call the police) Perv! Hahahah

What do you think about these signs and my captions? Which sign is the most ridiculous funny of all? Feel free to share and re-caption if you please. I'm yearning to read from you.

Have A Terrific Thursday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Wednesday, 16 April 2014

What Has Character Got To Do With The Coochie?!

Do I foresee the future that some people might get scared chatting with me, for fear that conversations may serve as content for my THOUGHTS. Hahahah. I know, yea? (Chei! my friend is gonna be mad. But #whadeheck buddy... You know na. Lol).

Anyway, a male friend of mine called to ask for some lady's number. A number I don't have but promised I could help get even though I was wondering why he desperately wanted it... till he said he had a mega crush on her. Actually nothing but a 'Fuck-crush'...in his own words. "I gotta STRAFF the girl. She's too sexilicious" ...hahahah...(crazy man). Well, I said to him that I'm amazed at how many guys are crazy bout her...even though I recognise she's really pretty and cute...I didn't think she had a depth of character...but then again, what do I know about another woman being SEXY and deep. I'm straight meeehn....hehehe!

Ofcourse my friend told me, point in case. Character has got nothing to do with this particular business...she is "pretty cute and come-fuck-me-licious"...that's all he needed and I got the gist straight up. After all, what has CHARACTER got to do with the COOCHIE? Err...I guess not much. Lol.

I mean when a man is looking for a SEX-MATE, he's really not looking for a woman he can discuss politics, stock market or the world peace...neither is he looking for someone he can pray the ANGELUS with at lunch break. He just wants to stick his friggin JELLY in her forest gump. While he makes her meow like a PUSSY cat as he hollers like a german shepard.

Well, my friend is married, so obviously he's not looking for a second wife and I doubt he's done training his little kids....so this is nothing but a sexual TRYST...and he's old enough to handle his SHIT (so hey...I better mind my business). But it occurred to me, that though this is one man with a different goal, there are so many single men and women looking for meaningful relationships, yet have the SAME approach to choosing a mate...its all about the EXTERIOR, the ATTRACTION.... Character is underrated, CHEMISTRY is overrated and a great FUCK lands you a hot deal (Yes! The potential mate) and let's be honest 70% of relationships and marriages started as nothing but just casual SEX. And we all know, great sex with a good sex-mate is addictive. Who wouldn't give a PERMANENT spot to have that?! Yes, being that we are all animals of HABIT!

Still there may have been a number of times in the past when you thought you met the "right" person… and yet they turned out, like all the others, to be WRONG. How do we ensure that we are INVESTING in the right one whether physically, sexually, emotionally, spiritually, financially or otherwise.

I'll use myself as an example coming from my previous relationships and failed marriage. Several times, I mistook the 'chemistry' in what should have just stayed a SEXUAL relationship for an EXCLUSIVE relationship that ended up in a 'blind' marriage and all my other potential relationships... after that, which FAILED to blossom into anything rather significant. I kept questioning my own JUDGEMENT, which is the hardest thing to do when you pride yourself on being intelligent and rational.

Apparently I had seemingly ignored some men's SELFISH, NARCISSISTIC tendencies because of what came with the rest of their package – handsome, smart, talented, successful, etc. I had under-played CHARACTER and focused way too much on 'chemistry'...forgetting that all SEX does is blind you and warp your ability to DISCERN clearly the true depth of a person, no matter how long you've been with them.

I had to ask myself..."If EVERYTHING is taken away from them – their looks, body, career, money, property, success, even the great SEX and all the other material foolishness that defines them – would I like what's left?" And my answer was a big fat sexy NO! Because if I was true to myself, some of these men lacked either a "depth in CHARACTER" or "no strength of character".

I think that the things that are often IMPORTANT to us when we're young change as we get older. At 21, APPERANCE may be a big deal... but as we grow older, we learn that even though a bit of chemistry has to be present, deeper QUALITIES like 'honesty' and 'dependability' are must-haves. 

When we strip away everything that we have on the exterior, all that’s left on the INSIDE is just our MINDS, HEART, SPIRIT and it is rare to find that many people with the combination of a "sensible mind, kind heart and a generous spirit". And when we do find them...all other silly unrealistic PREFERENCES tramples it. Which is why some of us may have struggled for years to figure out why we choose the wrong ones…

The answer is right here. We've simply been investing in the least important qualities and for-going the most important of all, CHARACTER.

I remember having a heart to heart conversation with a MAN I had been on and off with for a few years and had practically been through my own hell with... and whilst he never admitted to calling me anything other than a FRIEND....we did everything those in a committed relationship did (at least by my own standards). Still I figured 6 years was a long time to address some of the issues I had with him... and then he explained he won't be able to 'prioritize' our RELATIONSHIP because he was still reeling from the HURT of another important relationship he had (talk about complicated, I know) hahahah. I remember attentively LISTENING and wondering whether or not his HONEST assessment of how much he could give me was HONOURABLE, and whether or not his accomplishment, good looks, intelligence and confusion were worth waiting around until he could decide he NEEDED me in his life- but the truth was clear- if he’s not prioritizing me NOW, he’s never going to. So I needed to pay LESS attention to the fantastic 'sexual chemistry' I had with him and MORE attention to his character over time. Did he have the sort of character to clearly differentiate between STANDARD and PREFERENCE? Was he the sort to sabotage his relationships and focus too much on his own selfish desires? Did he have the depth of character to sustain a good honest loving relationship? Ehen oh!

"Standards are things you NEED in a partner. Preferences are things you WANT in a partner. Sometimes what you want is not what you need". Do we choose people who are able to RECOGNISE the difference or do we turn a blind eye? eg As a single mother, I personally (WANT) a man who is 'wealthy' - #Preference but I (NEED) a man who is 'Loving' - #Standards ...in any case I'm grateful for the depth of character to be able to choose a LOVING man over a WEALTHY man any day (and I mean what I say), still if I'm lucky to get a loving wealthy man...ALLELUYAH! (hands in the air) just saying...then hey! Perhaps it my BIRTHDAY! Hahahah.

I don't know how many times I have nicely turned down men, some of which I may have been genuinely attracted to, simply because I suspected they didn't have the strength of character to practice SAFE sex and I knew they were sexually reckless...Now for any man/woman with 'presence of mind'... it is rather difficult to invest yourself or your body (for those in plain sexual relationships), knowing that the object of your affection isn't mindful of how and where they plug their tools or which tools get plugged into them.

Yes chemistry gets a relationship STARTED but character keeps it going and SUSTAINS it...because LOOKS will change. JOBS will come and go, MONEY changes flow and the PUSSY, we know aint gold. Hahaha. But what lasts forever is your CHARACTER mold.

In the end we all want someone who is CRAZY about us, knows very quickly that they want to be EXCLUSIVE; someone of INTEGRITY who is attracted to our minds as well as our body; someone who INVESTS in learning more about us, CHEERS us in every ASPECT of our lives; is happy to be part of us and INTEGRATES us into their own lives.

Because there are no shortage of impressive men and women out there, who make us TINGLE down to our genitals every time we think of them – but they’re WORTHLESS if they lack a depth in character or a strength of character. So the next time you consider DATING someone, don’t get too carried away by their charm, wit, beauty, money, the size of his dick or the juicy wetness of her COOCHIE…

Instead, learn to CUT out the time wasters and appreciate the person who DOES what they SAY, who says what they MEAN, who LOVES you for what's inside of you (and I don't mean your punani baby...Lol.) just someone who makes it clear that you’re a PRIORITY to them and they are willing to STAY by you...What do you think lovelies? Am I silly to think 'character' yields better results than 'chemistry'? Feel free to share your thoughts.

Have A Wonderful Wednesday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Tuesday, 15 April 2014

Alex's Truth 5: BE Love...

Hello Lovelies, yes I know...its been a while I did a BOOST. And you have missed my inspiration...despite all of the tragedies happening all over the world and in our personal lives. Still we must find little ways to show LOVE and encourage others. Well here's me sharing some love in the form of TRUTHS for today. I hope it inspires you!

1) When you try so hard to hold on to 'everything'...you may end up walking away with NOTHING.

2) Timing is everything. The things you are praying for will show up only when you are most READY for them.

3) Expect people to be 'perfect' then you will always be disappointed. Allow them to be who they are and you 'might' be pleasantly SURPRISED..

4) Love should encourage love. Trust should encourage trust. Respect should encourage respect. Anything less, abeg run. Lol.

5) It's not about having the perfect relationship, it's about finding someone who matches you in every way and will go through everything without giving up on you.

6) You can't hold onto everyone, and hey, you're not wired to. People leave so that NEW people can arrive and take over their spot. That's life!

7) No one should be in your life by default ... They should be in your life by DESIGN! Can you tell the difference?

8) Some people will better your life by 'being in it'...while others will better it by 'staying out of it'. Don't force people in, who really should stay OUT...and don't keep out those who really should STAY in!

9) The best relationships are the ones with people who despite many OBSTACLES fall more in love with each other every day.

10) Never give up on someone who has SIGNIFICANTLY kept you from giving up on yourself.

Have a Terrific Tuesday Lovelies! And Remember...Don't just show love today, BE love today. Hugs And Kisses!
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Monday, 14 April 2014

Alex's Audio Diary 10

What is 'Value' and what does it mean to you as regards yourself, those around you and even your community. I have come to realise that value plays a major role in every aspect of life be it, relationships, career, business, religion, politics or just the society. LISTEN to today's audio...

Feel free to share your thoughts as always...and don't forget to share. Have A Magnificent Monday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Saturday, 12 April 2014

FEATURE: Romance, Death...And A Bloody Trial!

Surely what's become a tragic love tale between the late Reeva Steenkamp who was shot dead by her boyfriend, the famous olympic champion Oscar Pistorius on valentine's day in 2013... is looking pretty much like an episode of SCORNED on crime and investigation channel with too many evidences that's fast turning it into a crime of PASSION.

But mehn, if South Africa had their own Oscars, Pistorius should win it for 'Best Actor' hands down...hahaha...with all that dramatic crying and vomitting as he was shown gruesome photos of her dead body. And the rather obvious CIRCUS he was making, apologizing in public to Reeva's family...something he never did privately in one year since her death... Yet trying to make himself out to be a victim instead of the narcissist that he's been POTRAYED to be. Especially with him getting away with several bad behaviours in the past and friends always willing to take the blame.

What's sad is that Reeva had been in a previous ABUSIVE relationship only to leave it and die by the hands of another man she had grown to love. It never fails to amaze me, how beautiful, intelligent and warm hearted women find such men and even tolerate their constantly VOLATILE emotions. In recent news, passionate crime is fast becoming a norm in our society, with horrid tales of abusive boyfriends physically battering or assaulting their partners whom they 'claim' to love and husbands killing their wives over silly arguments and accusations.

There's no doubt that Oscar fired the gun that killed his girlfriend but the question is, was it PREMEDITATED or was it just an 'accident' like he claims. O ya jump in, O ye CSI die- hards...I need all your theory(s) now. Hehehe...

Well, I didn't read all those Agatha Christie novels in high school for nothing. Perhaps I knew one day, my investigative chops would surely be needed. Lol. So here's my theory:

#1) He's been portrayed as a HOT head who is overtly sensitive. In other words, he's a rather tempestuous man...(considering the fact that he needs to yell at Reeva for chewing bubble gum in public...Hian! or talking to another man) ANGER is a rather volatile emotion coupled with a BAD TEMPER (as Reeva revealed in her text messages, that she was sometimes afraid of him) Well, people are known to do mean things when angry. Picture a BAD argument and he pops his gun. BANG!!!

#2) He's an insecure man... Oh yes! That he's such a good looking and very successful athlete doesn't take away the fact that his physical disability (being a double amputee) might sometimes make him feel inferior to other men and constantly compare himself to others in her eyes...thus reminding me of an article I authored last month (INSECURITY)...or else why would he think "he was more into her, than she was into him" even after she severally mentioned in a text that "he was the man she fell in love with" ... a message he never replied to and yet claimed he never got a chance to tell her how much he 'supposedly' loved her...(let's be honest if that girl even remotely flirted or chatted up another man, I can almost imagine him pulling the "Pity" card...actually I can picture an INSECURE man pulling a gun...its him or me...there's no him right here. So its me or you. I chose you baby.) BANG!!!

#3) He is careless with fire-arms...even though he's also charged with illegal possession of ammunition found in a safe at his home. An ex-girlfriend and a friend of his testified that he had allegedly fired his gun at the sun-roof of a car he alleged attacked and had fired a gun in a restaurant in january 2013. (Let's add a hot-head and an illegal fire crack together...) BANG!!!

#4) He rarely accepts responsibility for anything...Now in my eyes, that's pretty much someone with a CHARACTER dis-order (and believe, I know what I know these types). Constantly, blaming others for his issues, forgetting important details or just living in absolute denial. (You're all wrong, you don't see my point of view or care about me. Fuck you all) BANGGG!!!

My theory is SIMPLE. This wasn't an accident. They may have had an ugly lovers spat...(Perhaps they couldn't agree on where to spend valentines day or some other guy was gunning for her attention...or maybe she had plans to spend the day doing something he didn't support an in retort she fired an ugly statement) and in a fit of anger, went for his gun and shot her through the toilet door four times...The first two times a break and two more times. Let's assume he thought his victim was really an INTRUDER, he would have at least heard her cry since the first shot was on her shoulder, if he had no intention to kill her (or anyone else for that matter as he claims). If the decibels from the shot was so loud that it deafened and startled him. That was enough to stop him in his tracks. Whether he thought it was Reeva or an Intruder, it is rather safe to believe that he INTENDED to kill whoever was behind that door, even a simple burglar doesn't deserve to die that way. Pistorius shot his girlfriend four times till she was dead. To me, a pure case of passion influenced by jealousy, ego and anger and unfortunately she's not alive to tell the world what transpired that night.

Just like the prosecution, I don't think anybody with common sense is buying his story. Hopefully the Judge is sharp and acute enough to get justice for a beautiful life cut short.

But hey, that's just my own theory. What do you think? Do you really buy the story that it was an accident or a case of premeditated murder? Feel free to share your thoughts....

Have A Restful Saturday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Friday, 11 April 2014

Movies....And The One You Need!

Any time I see a very captivating preview of a movie with a charming cast list, I'm always hunted by the thought that if I don't watch it then I'm committing some cinematic injustice to the arts, no matter how long it takes me. And yes, I'm lagging somewhere behind.

So that's one of the reasons I hounded my sister Barbie to find me the movie "Baggage Claim" since I missed seeing it at the cinemas and I'm frantically obsessed with the subject of love, romance, drama or any wacky chick flick with comedic chops. Let's not add the fact I'm a die hard "JILL SCOTT" fan so much so that I now follow her on twitter (oh no! I have no intentions of stalking her though...lol)... But I'm absolutely crushing over the lead female Paula Patton's ex husband 'Robin Thicke' and I suspect I'm not the only one...Or is it the parade of gorgeous muscular eye candy(s) like Taye Diggs, Trey Songz and Boris Kodjoe (And no! I do not masturbate to a picture of them on my wall) hahahah. Or is it Derek Luke, who seems like the kind of guy I can actually take home to my mama, bloody talented and yet sexy in a sweet demure way...(who doesn't like a sweet guy). Believe me, I can never get enough of him, its like I'm Emelda Marcus in a shoe shop yea...you get me now? Hahahah.

Anyway, I strike a deal with my younger sister promising to give her my navy tank DRESS she's been fawning over, if and only if she gets me the movie (never underate a young obsessed fashion freak) ofcourse, she puts her boyfriend to work (perhaps a few WET kisses did the trick) and somehow got him to buy it online... Yipee! (Dancing alanta) Yes, I finally got my movie FIX...

Forget that it was a box office flop or that the REVIEW was a little above average if not downright mean... Or the story line was perhaps a little convoluted and cliche, with a young lovelorn flight attendant tracking down all her ex boyfriends with the hope that one of them will end up being THE ONE. Well, I've always been the type to focus more on message, content and quality...even though the premise for the film may have been a little contrived. Still I have never been one to be sucked in by hype, labels or popular opinions. I still have my own brain cells to decide whether or not I like something or what message I do pick or do 'not' pick...which I've trained myself to find GOOD about a lot of things. And I found a message that was clear (No! Not that boring catch line...something about staying in marriage or so) lol.

I can not count the number of times a LEAD characters falls for the odd one or how many times they chose the obviously-not-so-obvious one who's secretly in love with them. It is true that a movie is the finished product of a SCREEN PLAY...and a screenplay is product of a writer's IMAGINATION but a writers imagination is pretty influenced by culture, environment, experience and the boundaries of their set mind. And what might seem like a rather CLICHE ending might actually be a substantial theory that in reality, THE ONE we NEED is usually the one we never ever thought we even WANTED.

The ONE who goes IGNORED yet always puts your interest before theirs, makes a lot of SACRIFICES on your behalf, tries to make you HAPPY and stays LOYAL even when you take their love for granted. THE ONE is pretty much like 'Derek luke's' character (William Wright, who by the way, anyone who is sentient could see was absolutely made for her), patient, loving, tolerant and probably UNDERSTANDS you better than you realise... because they are not in your focus, so they don't have to play up themselves to get your approval. The ONE is honest with you about your shortcomings yet cares about your GROWTH even if it means sacrificing their LOVE...The one could be the childhood friend you never even let steal a KISS, the neighbour down the hall you are not afraid to DISS or the best friend you regale with all your silly GIST. The ONE is pretty much like a movie trailer hoping one day, you'll be WISE enough to SEE It.

Have A Fantastic Friday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Who Will Bell The Cat?!

Have you noticed any of the crazy BULLSHIT happening these days from the multiple killings to misappropriation of public funds, our two-timing philandering politicians playing BED-MATES to strange political bed fellows whilst the citizens are crushed under the tired spring bed on which they lie upon?

As a single mother, my plate is full...with a lot of junk. And I don't mean the yummy kind of junk that helps you forget your problems as you are churning down a giant size of coke with a turkey burger. I mean, the bag of filthy problems I have to endure. I have to worry about paying my house RENT, and all my other domestic responsibilities, like providing food, clothes, house utilities, water, security levy, electricity bill, my maids salary, my son's school FEES and fuel my car? Yeah, that's pretty much like every other CUNT with responsibility. Hahahah...But thanks to the government that gives me absolutely nothing, for paying taxes...I now have the added responsibility of funding their INADEQUACY. How? I have to send my son to a private school costing me an arm and one breast...yes, because apparently there are no good government preschools or kindergarten...actually (lemme cut out the sugar coat) there are NO government schools. PERIOD.

Let me not explain that I have to pay SECURITY levy to my estate and still pay a security man within the house I leave where I frankly still feel verrrry unsecured...so I have to be my own personal-apartment security lady, with PADLOCKS and CHAINS enough to scare even the toughest prison guard (heavens forbid that there should be a fire outbreak or an emergency)...still I can't stop peering out my window at the slightest sound...Shit! I've become a PARANOID SLUT. Yes slut, as its no secret that I've been SLEEPING with FEAR. (what a slut!) hehehe.

Should I complain about the rise in price of food commodity or my incessant angst at how the SARDINE (tuna fish) has practically gone from four fishes to just two with very little oil (though I'm still unable to ascertain what kind of oil it is) as I won't be surprised if its been mixed with water...(Don't say oil and water don't mix...Miracles do happen) despite its increase in prize... (Choi! Two people no fit share one tin of sardine anymore...).

Ha! Biko forget ELECTRICITY in this country... I'm almost certain, the solution is not in my lifetime...Back in the days, when little children used to scream "Up-Nepa" at the glimpse of hope that came in the guise of our electrical power supply... I now have to teach my 3 year old toddler how to scream "UP GENERATOR"...(Abeg no laugh o) Why not, that's the power authority that supplies electricity in our home. My ALTERNATIVE power has become my main power supply...as I've been forced to acquire two generators (one big and small which I have to constantly fuel daily and service regularly) so in other words, I've been TRICKED into generating my own source of power whilst still paying the country its friggin electricity bill. You no see daylight robbery?

I use my small income to buy myself a comfortable car (as I'm not yet able to afford a private jet or a chatter an helicopter to transport me over the hideous lagos traffic) so I have a plan, I might as well fill up my gas tank every week...Yes, a toyota is great with fuel consumption...except...err...when they were designing the cars, they didn't take into cognisance the probability of a nightmare on steroids posing as traffic somewhere downtown in Africa... a.k.a "The Go-Slow"...actually there's another version "The Stand-Still" (have you ever been on one spot for an hour? Ehen! That's the one! So yes...my fuel that should carry on for a week based on my usual routine probably lasts 2-3 days because of the traffic caused mostly by bad roads and limited alternative routes. In the end I'm spending MORE money on fuel and hospital bills (yes, constant high blood pressure from bumper to bumper swerving between multiple lanes, danfo drivers and tricycles (keke napep) caused by traffic of life....(And God help you that you don't get scratched with a broken rear light) hahaha...forget the swollen leg-cramps biko) ice-blocks will solve that one...oh! I forgot, no electricity to make the ice bags. There we go! Lol.

But who do I blame? I blame no one but myself... For sitting still and not caring all these time, which BOMBERCLAD becomes my elected leader. I turned my face the other way like a house wife begging to ignore a cheating husband for the sake of peace. Who are we kidding? Where's the peace in wrong doing? Neither the culprit, nor the accomplice nor the victim will have any peace. At some point SHIT will hit the fan...and whence thy explosion happens, even boko haram will take cover. Lol.

How we let 'the same of the same' and the 'more of the same' kind of leaders cloud our judgments befuddles me...I mean, the political terrain has been long POLLUTED and we all have been sniffing bad smelly air in pure 6-karat silence.

We let our so-called leaders ABUSE our rights, RAPE our democracy, STEAL our votes, and BUY our silence?!...We let them tell us who should lead us instead of we choosing who should SERVE us?!...We act indifferent when there is no guarantee that our tomorrow or the prospects of our children's future have been safe guarded?!

It is very easy for us to think politics is nothing more than a CONSTEST of egos or a domain of special interests. Yes! After all, our silly leaders have done nothing but stick out their DIRTY tongues at us. Taaaaaa! But if you look at the market woman in isale-eko, the trader in onitsha, the okada rider in ibadan, the children who go to public schools without basic amenities, the GRADUATES who are jobless or even the elites who drive their expensive cars on bad roads, you will understand that it is much more than that. It is the TRICKLE down effect of our indifference, decisions or lack there of.

Are we going to have a COUNTRY that is fully controlled by the government and its side kicks or one where its citizens have equal freedom to participate in the political process as well as the governing of the state?!

#1) We all need leaders who will practice a 'Politics of Conscience'.

#2) Leaders who understand that we all share common aspiration- to live in peace and security; to get an education and to work in dignity; to love our families, our communities and our God, despite our ethnicity, religious beliefs and political affiliations.

#3) Leaders who cut across young and old, rich and poor, able and disabled, educated and uneducated, elite, middle class and grass-root.

#4) Leaders who understand that the 'Power of Love' is a far more effective and lasting power, than the 'Love of Power'...(And yes, you know my open obsession with love) but a leader who doesn't love the people will accomplish nothing for them.

#5) Leaders who believe that no matter who you are or where you come from, our country is a place you can make it, if you try.

#6) Leaders who care about QUALITY affordable health care for its citizens, good education and basic social amenities. So that our CHILDREN can dream of a better FUTURE and our businesses can continue to thrive.

There's so much work to be done before every Nigerian who wants a job can find one or before the middle class regain our sense of security that's fast slipping away long before the recession.

Do we want a country where only a FEW people do really well and everyone else STRUGGLES to get by or an economy where everyone gets a fair shot. Everyone does their fair share and everyone plays by the same rules.

Do we want a country that's weakened by outsourcing, bad debt and fake profits. Or a country that's built to last on Education, Agriculture, Arts, Sports and Entertainment.

We can not afford to hang on to the old philosophy that brought us here. We need to give ourselves a new lease of life, a breath of fresh air, fresh ideas, fresh vision, fresh direction and ofcourse a fresh crop of leaders. But Mehn, I've got to ask this pertinent question. Who will bell the cat? Hahahah.

Have A Terrific Tuesday Lovelies! Kisses!

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Monday, 7 April 2014

Alex's Audio Diary 9

There's a saying "speak the truth, even if your voice shakes"....the question is, what is the truth, how do we teach ourselves to embrace it, accept it and dish it to others if we haven't even learned to be honest with ourselves? Please LISTEN to today's audio....

Stay Authentic & Keep Winning!

So what do you think Lovelies? Feel free to leave me a comment or drop me a FREE VOICE MESSAGE using the pink button on the right corner of this blog..I want to HEAR your thoughts!

I love you And I look forward to hanging out with All VIP Stars in the Prestigious 'ALEX'S BLOG COMMUNITY' VIP Members Lounge. Want to get ACCESS to the VIP NAKED LOUNGE . and a 20% membership discount. Click GO EARLY NOW


Have you grabbed your own copy of my Widely Anticipated New Book- THE NAKED TRUTH: Lies Stripped... The Reviews are great. Just Click my OFFICIAL WEBSITE,  or BUY @ AMAZONSMASHWORD, BARNES & NOBLE or PayHip and GUMROAD.  It is an Intimate & Relatable guide to the crazy TRUTH about Love, Life, Relationship, Sex, Reality & Re-invention of self. It offers WISDOM to those who are struggling to accept the truth about who they really are and different aspects of their life.  Get it and please let me know what you think about it.

P.S: If You love what I do...You can become a VIP STAR PATRON by making a monthly pledge to get access to my best quality content before anyone else + earn some good REWARDS. Click PLEDGE If you also missed my MOTIVATIONAL live webinar and want to watch THE NAKED CHALLENGE 101 Webinar Video. Please click ACCESS to download the and learn my 10 BASIC MIND STRATEGY on how to accomplish real GOALS.

Don't forget to call in and catch me on Talk Wednesday and Friday Radio SpecialLIVE @ 9pm (GMT) on THE NAKED TALK Internet Radio Show. Its always a stimulating conversation with my guests. .

NOTE : Join Me In My Effort To Change The World With My Empowering Thoughts. If You Like Today's 'Audio Diary'....Then Don't Forget To Comment and Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot).

Got A Question? Feel Free To #AskAlexHere. If You Want Some Talk Therapy Instead, Then Take Advantage of my Private One-on-One and Book an appointment with #AskAlex using SetMore NOW!!!

Have A Wonderful Day Lovelies. Kisses!!!
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Saturday, 5 April 2014

FEATURE: Oh Zara....Death Is A Bitch!

Its very strange that I've been thinking about DEATH for the last 2 days or so, in what seems to be a re-occuring mental TORTURE...Hold up, I'm not planning to commit suicide or anything silly like that...its just that after reading my friend Kalu Ikeagwu's hilarious guest post (here) and seeing funeral pictures of the Late Zara Gretti posted on Linda Ikeji's blog (here)...I couldn't help feeling like death is nothing but a BITCH.

I remember when I first saw the 'BREAAAKING NEWS' of Zara's death...Notice my exaggeration on the words 'breaking news'...a term, Nigerian bloggers have fallen crazy in love with. Eg. "BREAKING NEWS...Actress, Genevieve falls asleep"...hehehe... "BREAKING NEWS...Musician, Flavour reveals six-packs" hahahaha... Honestly, at some point...one tends to just TUNE out the distortant melody of the gossip troupes. I did! Until I saw lovely pictures of this pretty young bubbly lady displayed on several of my friends/colleagues Blackberry Messenger and Twitter pages .

I wasn't sure I knew who she was even though she seemed VAGUELY familiar...and I didn't want to embarrass myself by asking, as if I live under a rock...Lol. So I googled her up and found the "Abokoku" music video...and alas I remembered her...No Death! Not her! Why her? Oh mehn...my heart tore in pieces. I'm still yet to get over the shock even though I didn't know her personally and never inter-acted with her...but I remember seeing that video on television and thinking "Now that's how you do music..." I loved it...and even after watching the video once again 3 days ago, the song is still on the tip of my tongue. But na wa o, DEATH is really a bitch.

Anyway, was scanning through the funeral pictures and hoping to see a multitude of her colleagues from the MUSIC industry that showed up to give her a befitting goodbye after a long battle with 'multiple sclerosis'...And to my DISAPPOINTMENT... it was just a hand full of them Emma Nyra, Nikki Laoye, Spaceship boy, Noble Igwe, Yemi Alade, Vina and a few other close friends and family.

It kinda makes you want to ask...

#1) What happened to the other Celebrities crying on Twitter and Instagram? Where they just patronising the dead or is it that they don't consider her an 'A-list' worthy of their attendance. Perhaps they forgot to set their alarms and overslept?! (Hmm...Just wondering)

#2) No matter what happened between her/9ice's coded tunes and her former manager Toni Payne. One would expect that since they introduced her to the music scene they would put the past behind and at least pay the dead some last respect. (Hmm...just saying)

#3) What about all the 24,500 plus followers on twitter? Where did they all go? Imagine her stressfully trying to raise 1 million naira yet with so many people who claim to love her...with no success. What a shame!

It really does make one ponder on the dynamics of life and relationships...And who truly matters? I just got off her twitter, reading her tweets and you could see a lady who was in so much pain, yet desperately wanted to live. If all her followers had donated at least 100 naira each, she would have had more than enough to sustain her medical treatments instead of taking the rumoured 'agbo' (local herbs) fed, before her death. Ignorance may have played a role as some people said...but from reading her tweets, I didn't get the impression that Zara was an ignorant bimbo or a paled wall flower. She simply needed MONEY...not words, not hugs and yes, not prayers of false hope ("it is well...you are healed..." ) there's a proverb that says "heaven helps those, who help themselves"...and she was trying to help herself but did ENOUGH people rally to help her?.

I'm almost starting to believe that a LACK of funds forced her to take what was readily available and cheap enough for those around her to afford, hoping for some inter-mediate MIRACLE (I may be wrong though)...But damn, Death is such a bitch!

And times like this, call for sober reflection....

#1) How many of your so called Celebrity friends and acquaintance are of real value to you?

#2) How many of your Twitter/instagram followers and facebook friends are really true friends? How many of them will be there when you need them?

#3) How many people can you vouch will stay by your side come what may...or clean out the mess on your sick bed?

#4) How many will be too busy to attend your funeral when it finally happens...simply because your death is of no value to them?

We spend so much time on social network interacting and connecting with people who in real time don't give a hoot about us, and creating false relationships with no real value. Retweets, Mentions, Follow-Backs and Red carpet Photo Ops aren't guarantee that you have a community of people who genuinely love you and will be there when you need them. Because death is a DEBT we all owe... And that BITCH will come like a thief at night, when we do not expect, just so she can get PAID...For Tomorrow is never promised...so don't forget to make TODAY count!

P.S: RIP Zara Gretti...You were too young to die. But God knows best!

Have A Restful Saturday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Friday, 4 April 2014

KALU IKEAGWU: And When I'm Dying....

Whatever my reasons for being so excited every Friday...is tied to one thing. I get to rest my fingers and my brains for a little while...Hehehe. Its Celebrity Guest Post Friday...And you either need to have some wit, a wacky sense of humour or a penchant for nicely stringed words to enjoy today's Exclusive Post from my very Dear Friend/Colleague, The International Acclaimed Award Winning Actor, Writer, Host, Eye Candy.....(Yes...biko...APPLAUD)...and Blog Author, Kalu Ikeagwu, who's amazing writing has kept me in stitches...biko no long talk abeg...Read His exclusive post below and don't forget to share your thoughts:


"When I die, bury me in a frozen lake of ice! Don’t mind me jare, I’m just mimicking 2 Chainz and Kanye’s song “Birthday Song” which I found very catchy, the beat that is. I just can’t bring myself to say “Bury me in a Gucci store” Seriously, is that the highest level we wish to attain, being buried in a famed tailor’s shop? I bow o. Maybe my ignorance is bliss given my deaf ears to lyrics of the songs I generally listen to, or does my subconscious mind pick up more than I am aware of? If they were lyrics about what to do with itches and gardening tools – for digging up yams - then yes, that I could understand and make good use of by playing role play romps with my significant other in the bedroom or the sitting room or maybe the kitchen while checking on the muffins or boli (grilled or baked semi ripe plantain) in the oven, or, wait for it, shut up in the boot of the car! See why I love writing? It sometimes dredges up things you never knew lurked in the recesses of your mind. Two things I’d have to keep handy to safely accomplish that feat though: my car keys (remote car locks of course) and a sound theme of a large dog’s bark to be activated in the very likely event of an attempted car theft Hmm, stringy meat to chew on another day. My meat for today is yes, a little off the beaten track but no less important to yours truly, the way I would like to die.

When I die and how I’d like to die are of little concern to me as whatever puny control I may exercise over the when and how of my demise may only be effected through prayer or due diligence regarding my security and lifestyle. What I would like to do at the point of my demise is a matter I have given my imagination free range to roam to its heart’s content. I have come to accept that there is, and may remain a childlike and playful side to me, and I would love to keep it that way till I’m a hundred, hopefully plus. At the moment, to my shame, I have so far only managed to envisage any of the three things I’d like to do just before kicking the bucket, which even so few, still give me a warm glow on the inside.

Like the Okinawa residents in Japan, I would love to still shag my wife at a hundred and two years old, and she, mmm, maybe between eighty two to a hundred years. Of course by then we’d have sensibly begun investing in lubricating gels, strictly to jumpstart her of course, and I, by God’s divine will, will still be rising to the occasion on demand, give or take an hour or two of prompting or stimulation, at this point, of any kind, oral or any sensible otherwise. Anyway the meat of it that we’d have been at it for any length of time ranging from four minutes to thirty – yes, I am ambitious, the software program chosen being the lovemaking application so I can remember she’s the woman I love who has borne me these wonderful initially troublesome children who have left us to our rapturous delights and our unfathomable petty squabbles – the kind no one dares intervene in the knowledge that both of us are just looking for an excuse to have make up sex, I digress. She’s busy with her electric toothbrush buzzing away between us, her wrinkled face – still as beautiful to me as the day I married her – distorted in concentration and I roger on as manly as possible, LLCool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out” playing in the background to aid my rhythm and vigour until she stiffens suddenly and begins to let out an almost eerie low but slowly rising moan as my own fever begins to take over me in paroxysms of blurred vision, my glasses almost falling off my nose, convulsions radiating from my loins as they take over my body in ever powerful waves as now a hundred million half lives course their way up from my bejewelled orbs, my centenarian roar sounding like it’s coming from the adjoining room as we cling to each other in our torturous bliss as we are suddenly levitated to celestial transports, God’s throne. Oblivious to our new environment, we look at each other and gasp, “Wow, that was some banging!”, before we notice our celestial surroundings, angels and all, and I, seeing the Almighty and quaking with fear, blurt out, “Banging at, sorry, on Heaven’s door!”. Sharrap all of you, it’s not blasphemy; we widowed each other in matrimony!

Second, I’m at my deathbed in my home hopefully and not the hospital, still at a hundred and two, surrounded by my wife (she should outlive me – I love being pampered), children: biological, in-law and adopted, grandchildren and hopefully the greats. I call our children to draw closer to me for the last blessings and admonishment.. As I bless each one and their future genealogies, I punctuate each blessing by spitting into their open mouths, yes there is an Igbo community where this form of father-child blessing has long been practised – and, hehehe, you never deny a dying man his wish. I would have made it seven spits per mouth but that would be greed, and I may expire before getting to the third child, besides I don’t know how much saliva I’d still be able to muster at that ripe age so I’ll dispense my treasures sparingly.

Thirdly, if God tarries His hand at taking me away to Him, I would bless the rest of my beloved gathering and save the last for the one most alike to me in personality and the youngest. I would call him/her to me very lovingly, pray for the beautiful child, bless him/her with a tremulous voice and trembling hands, give him/her some life serving advice and ask him/her to put his/her hand under my thigh at they used to do in biblical times. When they obey me, I’ll ask them to move it up further a bit, just under my bottom whereupon I’d take a deep breath and unleash the most ferocious fart I can muster. Hopefully the force generated will be enough to propel my soul and spirit from my body to eternal bliss leaving a mischievous grin on my face. I must remember to maintain a strict diet of raw broccoli and beans for when the beams start to tremble and the bulb starts to dim to give me enough wind for my sails- note to self.

My point here is who says dying can’t be fun? It is inevitable so why not, instead of being so petrified all the time of it, have fun with it and making your exit as memorable as possible, both here and beyond? Cowards have the misfortune of dying many times before their death but the creative ones have the luxury of enjoying theirs many times before it comes. Death is naught but a gateway so I enjoin everyone to enjoy this life, its passing and the life beyond this one. Have a great weekend everyone and Alex my dear friend, thanks for having me on your blog."

By Kalu Ikeagwu.

Hahahaha, My friend, Kalu is just nuts. Oh well, hope you enjoyed his post like I did? You can check out his personal blog for more amazing posts like this on kaluikeagwu.blogspot.com or just click on his blog banner on my side bar. Feel free to share your thoughts and don't forget to share with others.

Have A Fantastic Friday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Thursday, 3 April 2014

Funny-Pix: Advertising Helps.... Sex Sells....

I remember a friend of mine berating me some time last year for my mobile DAILY QUICKIES (that's true...I haven't done...err...I meant...written one in a while) And I remember saying to him...SEX SELLS. Well, if you think 'advertising' has matured from its yore of humble beginnings...Hian! You're wrong. Sex still sells... Always has, always will. It may not always be in your face or be intentional, but somehow the human mind has a way of incorporating one of its basic PRIMAL instincts into marketing. I saw these Ads and decided since its Throw-back Thursday, I might as well share them with you. Here they are...

Hmmm...Trust me Buger-King, my mind is already blown. Why blow a bland 'Dick' when I can have a Super Seven Incher that tastes better, right? Shio!!! Hahaha...

Okay, forget the burnt knees...If anything about the power of this vodka is true? Then 'Flirt' is about to flirt with a Fat-Ass bank account. Hehehe.

Oh Disney, this wouldn't be the first time this 'mufu' Mickey will run his loud mouth...Choi! At least I now know what's been keeping Minnie stuck to him since 1928..."His Milk inside of her" Mstcheww.

Whoop! Whoop!... I've been looking for where to spread my legs... Thank you Pontiac! I now know where I'm making my next baby. Muah!

Hell No! Chiquita! Noooo! Can't you see, she doesn't want bananas? ... Look at this silly little scoundrel gleefully sticking his 'most flavourful' banana in her mouth. This is downright abuse! Mbok!!!

Alright!!! Biko...Are there any french speaking members of my blogger family? I'm trying to understand this...let me see...Err...there's something about poison...So in other words, if we don't use TAMPAX, our Vaginas will smell like dead fish? Or better still the 'pum-pum' will smell bad enough to poison a fish? Somebody HELP...Taaaaa!!!

Hian! SPY Sun-glasses una try oh! I can imagine this billboard has the attention of every friggin driver. Seriously, who wouldn't want someone who's happy to sit on their face? Err...just saying! Hahahah!

Hope you loved them just as much as I did? Let me know what you think about these ads and my captions...And oh, don't forget to rate this post and share with others.

Have An Amazing Throw-Back Thursday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Wednesday, 2 April 2014

We Are All Blogging....But Not All Of Us Are Competing!

I have to start this post laughing because I can almost anticipate what the general reaction would be after reading what I have to share.

It never fails to amaze me how FICKLE minded We Africans are, most especially my beloved NIGERIANS. First of all, the SMART ones think only them have 'monopoly' to ideas, the LAZY ones don't care that much (hey, let's just copy and paste) and the COMPETITIVE ones...oh well, they don't want competition really. Nothing that looks or smells like them. Hahaha.

I'm sure you are wondering what I'm getting off at. Well, its the IDEOLOGY that people with similar business, ideas or creative endeavours can't get together, network or become fast friends...because they are supposed to see each other as COMPETITION. Hian! Okay, let me explain... Ever seen a Hair Saloon spring up in a neighbourhood and enjoy the dividends of being the only Hair-Service Provider in that AREA until another one births beside it...and stiff HATRED/RIVALRY posing as mere competition begins. Now rather than them coming together to build a solid relationship (I mean I can picture an over-crowded saloon with customers waiting to be tended to, that could easily be sent over to the next saloon...No! No... God forbid, right?)

This is where my Igbo brothers differ biko....you can never go to ALABA or ONITSHA and ask an igbo trader for something and he tells you he doesn't have it...Eh! How? (Abeg wait, make I go my brother shop) which is pretty much his supposed 'competitions' store...but who cares, he's a BUSINESS-MAN and he knows ground 'strategy' better than any branding GURU can whisk-up. Emeka na him brother, even if the-said Emeka is 'rumoured' to be SCREWING Nneka his kindagarten crush. He will sell Emeka's product with a bit of incentive on top but #whadeck...its a win-win for all parties involved. Lol.

I also remember like 6 or 7 years back, I would invite a few BUDDING actresses like myself at the time, to audition for the same roles I myself was auditioning for. My theory then was simple. Only one person gets the part. If its them, I was instrumental to their success. If it was me, then I'm really 'that good or just that LUCKY'... It was no big deal. But the funny thing was that neither of them ever invited me to any of their auditions. Strange, right? What happened to returning good favours? Hahaha. The truth is that human beings brag about competition when in actual fact, they dread having anything that upsets their position in the scheme of affairs. Let them run a competitive RACE, just as long as they get a good head start and beat that obviously not so-competent competition of theirs. Biko, Who is fooling who?

Another example will be the good advice my father gave me...Think about this, so many times you will watch a celebrity day-time talk show host be a 'featured' GUEST on another celebrity talk show. I mean Ellen Degeneres doesn't see what's wrong with inviting Oprah Winfrey, Queen Latifah or Steve Harvey over to her show to talk about their own shows. I mean the MATHS is pretty simple...I can bring you and your fan base over to mine and you can feel free to return the favour. Hahahah. It is sorta with that same theory, I have the blog BANNER of my very talented friend and colleague, popular actor Kalu Ikeagwu who's blogspot is filled with amazing personal stories and his writing genius is simply undisputed. And I have no grouse letting my own readers know about his blog (Here) or any other blog/brands I find truly amazing.

It is true that my blog in itself is rather young (considering Its only two months plus)...and when I started, I pretty much remember reaching out to a few Famed Nigerian Bloggers. I did the oyinbo thing...Say 'hello first to my blog neighbours'...(hahaha)...'The yoruba thing..."Greet my elders in the blogging business" ...(Yes ke) and the obviously now confirmed dumb move... I got their emails and sent each one of them a personalised private email praising them for their own work and telling them about my new personal blog, and how I designed it myself bla bla bla... even asking them what they thought about it since I honestly consider myself a rookie (blogging-wise). Was I surprised that not a single one of the five I sent replied my email or even acknowledged receipt? I mean..."Hello Alex, Good to know. Take care...Bye"...Hahahah...(Yes, non-commital, a little pretentious but it would have been courteous, mature and a little respectful) just saying.

I didn't ask them to advertise my blog or share my address with their readers (not that it would be a big deal or a bad idea) neither did i ask for free links which most foreign bloggers do for each other without batting an eye. Wait! There was a rather sinister incidence that forced me to get an International copyright license and a disclosure policy I now have at the bottom of my blog...What was it? You know my usual exclusive friday drill ...Yes the Celebrity Guest Post which fortunately my Friend and Actress Ashionye Michelle-Raccah was my Guest Author for that day...and ofcourse, her write-up went viral with numerous bloggers lifting what was supposed to be an exclusive post and turning it to 'breaking news' whilst taking CREDIT for it. Now would I have minded if other bloggers wanted to share my posts with their readers?...No, I wouldn't have, if only they had done the proper thing by LINKING to my post or giving my blog its due credit. (Talk about the copy and paste group aka blogger thiefs) and while a few of my loyal readers sent me emails to alert me of the pilfery...none of the bloggers approved any of their comments that mentioned my blog as the original site that housed the post.LMAO.

So for the group I sent emails...I'm even a little more confused. Wait! Did my email get lost in TRANSIT or did PHCN strike and stop it from delivering or did the fuel crisis affect their response from getting to me? Hahahah...Do you get it now?

How can you be so afraid to respond to a 'warm friendly' email because you consider the other person competition? I mean that's the only logical explanation for the rather obvious group SILENCE...Hang on! How am I even competition? I'm just an Actress who simply likes to pen her own random thoughts... Its not like I blog about celebrity gossip or fashion/lifestyle tips and any of the other things I really couldn't be bothered about. So what's the biggie? Is it the fact that I designed the blog all by MYSELF using my mobile phones and it looks better than the supposed hundreds of thousands they may have paid their web designers for. (Not trying to be arrogant) but hold up, don't be surprised I keep announcing i designed my blog myself....you would do the same if you've never had knowledge of java scripts, templates, widgets and all the other crazy things I tortured myself to figure out whilst others where snoring...So that I'm proud of my achievement, knowing the sleepless nights and migraines I had to endure to see this to fruition should not annoy or IRRITATE anyone. Perhaps I couldn't even afford a good web designer. Hahahah.

I don't know how many people I've encouraged to start a blog even moreso, showed them a few TIPS using their phones if they please. I don't feel intimidated or bothered if the blog community grows. I mean...we may all be doing similar things but in our own unique way. I blog about my thoughts and I do all my blog pieces through my BLACKBERRY phone...That's my USP (Unique Selling Point) Shikena! So, I'm looking forward to the day Whizkid and Davido will collaborate or Ruggedman and Modenine will surprise us...I will love to hear a dope song by these sexy Divas Tiwa Savage and Sheyi-Shay....and who says Don-Jazzy can't still hook up some fierce beat for D-banj. Maybe Linda Ikeji will make reference to first seeing a post on Bella Naija or Miss Petite Nigeria and other terrestrial media than she gives foreign credit. Perhaps an APC Governor will openly praise a PDP Governor for a job well done. Maybe Kannywood would consider themselves a major part of Nollywood and ANTP will consolidate with AGN to represent Screen Actors as they should. Lol. I long for the day that healthy 'competition' inspires PROGRESSIVE change instead of cheap rivalry.

The truth is, our MIND-SET are the reasons why our country is still developing. The unnecessary HATRED and disapproval we have for others just because their opinions or style is different from ours or we wished they aren't as good or better than us. And while I believe people reserve the right to reply or not to reply their emails. I can bet my left breast that if I left gossip hints or a supposed contact for advertorial. I would have gotten a reply ASAP. So whatever their true reasons for ignoring my email (that one is for their pocket). My blog is growing by the minute because of AMAZING people who genuinely appreciate the value I bring...so anyone who isn't happy should feel free to drink Bar-Beach Water. Hahahah. In the end, We all may be blogging but not all of us are competing.

Have A Wonderful Wednesday Lovelies! Kisses!
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