Friday, 26 September 2014

Forget That Love Feeling.....

So I heard Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose just broke up....Same for Jason Derulo and Jordin Spark, his fiancee of 3 years, not that I am one to listen to the whispering in Gossip Town. Besides relationships are way complex than our fickle minds can understand and I've had my own fair share of 1 or 2 failed public romance....Who am I to judge?...But wait, didn't we all claim to love each other? Aha! Sometimes we need certain situations to put clarity on a pre-conceived notion. Yes, I have always thought LOVE was a "feeling"...and even though my intentions were good and the other person did the right things, I just couldn't always be in love or STAY in love. Why so? Because FEELINGS change. Its like loving Basmati Rice so much and then deciding that maybe PASTA is so much more delicious, even though they probably have the same CALORIES...

I've had to look at several people and things and decide that just because I didn't feel love for them, they weren't right for me. And the people or things I supposedly claimed to love, I could see all the things wrong with them, but chose to push it aside. 

When a woman gets pregnant, she starts to love the foetus even before the BABY is born...and even if it comes out ugly like a chipmunk, crippled or demented, she still loves her baby just as much. That love is a DECISION, not a feeling.

Which is why, no matter what we do as sinners, God has proven time and time again that his love for us will never change. Why? Cause God made that decision, that CHOICE. And being that God is the original source of love, he is not a human that acts based on irrational feelings. 

We all fall in and out of love with people and hang on to destructive relationships, hurt those who genuinely care about us in the name of this supposed love....when in fact, we do not have the courage to separate our feelings from our choices. Marriages are built on the wrong philosophies, relationships break up and WAR happens because people are acting based on the impulsiveness of their hormones (feelings), rather than build their choices on the stables of making profound decisions. If LOVE isn't a noun but a means it's an action word, therefore it means it can only reveal itself by choice (because one chooses to show love)....And to make a choice one must take a decision.  

The unconditional Love that we all desire and crave for is not a feeling but a decision. And that decision is made complete when both parties make the choices not to just feel the EMOTION but stick with the decision to accept who they really are and stay together irrespective of the challenges of partnership. What happens if they go broke, put on weight, lose their careers, listen to gossip, rumours, make mistakes or have a huge fight.....the realities will affect emotions and feelings will definitely CHANGE.

I'm starting to think love should be like buying a good car, a beautiful house or taking an exam. You narrow the options, weigh the pros n cons and take a decision. No one does any of these based on feelings....They look at the hard facts. Can I afford it? What is the value of this object I'm fascinated with or desire? Would it be beneficial to me in the long run? Will I be able to maintain it and take care of it? What or where would I be if I don't have it in my life? We look at the hard facts. 

If I had the option of being with a man like Boris Kodjoe, I will.... in a heart beat (Dang, he's hot and dude has got talent) but wait, he is married. Should I stay unhappy the rest of my life pinning for a man who is taken when I can choose Sola my neighbour who I know is available and genuinely ready for a committed relationship? Even if Boris does decide to leave his wife for me. It would be a random act of emotion that won't last, cause he will one day get fed up and leave me for someone hotter n smarter. And the circle will continue. 

Love only lasts forever, when we acknowledge our shortcomings, yet make the decision to consciously choose first, someone who is deserving of our time, energy, trust, sacrifice, understanding... and that the same person consciously chooses us too, then we can together decide to stay committed to the choices we have made, no matter what happens....because forever is something we actually DECIDE...or what do you think? Feel free to post a comment.

Have A Fantastic Friday Lovelies! Kisses!!!
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Thursday, 25 September 2014

Campari, Temptation....And The Visit!

Forget that my friends accuse me of drinking and never getting TIPSY...its not like I'm a fish or something....I just like to think of myself as quite the CONNOISSEUR if I may say so myself. Always curious about wine tasting and learning new things about LIQUOR.... Believe me  I know my drinks like I know my BRA cup size....Hahaha....

So a few weeks ago, I spent an entire week working down-town in some VILLA away from Port-Harcourt and what I drank most of the time was CAMPARI, or what they call the Campari SENATOR mix, which the delectable songstress Mor, stylishly pitched to me, as a rather HEALTHY indigenous yet alternative mix....Imagine, the combination of Campari and Beer....Whaaat! Mo da rán lé ni...(in my weirdest yoruba I can muster), I figured I could stay up for this challenge.

Soon after, the other actors joined us and went straight for a beer and in what seemed like an obvious secret ROMANCE unveiled before my very eyes, they each poured some Campari into their glasses....Wow! No be only me waka come o!!!  

So here we are sipping our SENATORS ....hehehe....and chatting about all manners of profanity....(Okay not a good look for the guys if you know what I mean). But trust artistes to be rather EXPRESSIVE in all manners of subjects, from politics, to our entertainment industry, including the dreaded three letter word xxx.....Lol. And, Lord have mercy, had we gone on into the night like our usual hang out, there's no telling what may have happened.

Well, it wasn't too long, I got back home to Lagos, the land of all activities when I got a call from my good friend/ super brand, the royal Weirdness as I like to call her, the very TALENTED and outspoken musician - 'Weird MC' about a courtesy VISIT to the Brian Munro Ltd, aka Campari Nigeria....And I was super excited to visit the home of my new FAVORITE Aperitif. So amidst a warm reception, a healthy business DISCUSSION and me faced with all those different bottles of alcohol boldly WINKING at me and trying to put me in trouble.

Ha! Jeezus....see TEMPTATION, it's only 1pm....Thank goodness I'm not the daughter of a palm wine tapper....Only God knows under what BRIDGE I shall lay sprawled after a quick loving session with any of these bottles of alcohol fighting for my attention...

Now here I was secretly binding and casting that WILD TURKEY and SKYY VODKA starring at me as I humbly sipped my black coffee, no cream and trying to FOCUS on the bane of Mr Yomi's statements.

Dang, this was harder than I thought....Anyway, trying to sound very intelligent and hide my internal STRUGGLE (okay, I'm not an alcoholic dammit....stop looking at me like that). I could just hear my friend and soon to be manager- Victoria Nkong's voice screeching down my membrane "No Alex, you can't drink. Remember you are still trying to lose some pounds for the Lé Braided Fashion shoot...." Err....If only I could have heard that voice when they were force feeding me with Fisherman soup and Eba the size of actor, Kalu Ikeagwu's head, I wouldn't be strolling back and forth the size 12 corner of that shop....Hahahah. (And please don't say I'm an African woman) Bia! Don't you think I know that? Mstcheww... Lol.

So I kept my focus on the conversation going on as the marketing manager and social media executives trade IDEAS....

Just then the Magnanimous Yomi Ajao decides to give us souvenirs....Chineke!!! You guessed right. A bottle of Campari Aperitif and Coffee Liqueur each, of which I nicely CUDDLED my 100cl dark ELEGANT stallion, the ILLYQUORE.

Think of love at first sight, as the butterflies in my stomach, kept doing the dirty dance....Dang! These babies are freaky happy. Hahahah. So while my voice of reasoning was SECRETLY wishing I had picked the Campari instead, for healthy reasons of course, I couldn't pass off a chance to try out something new....I just couldn't especially since I already knew the good ole taste of campari.

So here's what I think about the ILLYQUORE other than it's gorgeous bottle. it's Coffee Liqueur at its finest, and it tastes really damn good (almost like a combination of irish coffee n whisky).....Yep! 100% Arabica. Aha!

So here I am chanting.... "Campari, Illyquore.... Campari, Illyquore.... Which do I really prefer? After all the temptation, I say CHEERS to my liquor affairs." Hehehe.

Have A Wonderful Wednesday Lovelies! And Oh, Drink Responsibly....Muaaah!!!
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Monday, 22 September 2014

Alex's Audio Diary 21

We’ve all been HURT one way or another and have experienced some kind of EMOTIONAL pain.

But what we do with that hurt is probably more IMPORTANT than the pain itself. Would you prefer to ruminate endlessly about something that cannot be changed?

How do you let go of past hurts and MOVE on? 

Blaming others for our hurt is what most of us start off doing. Somebody wronged us in some way that mattered to us. We want them to APOLOGISE. Perhaps ACKNOWLEDGE what they did was WRONG. Even if it means punishing and holding ourselves back from making genuine PROGRESS because we love the excuse of having someone else other than ourselves to BLAME for the pain we feel and the set back we experience. Well it's time to LET GO OF THE PAST. Please LISTEN to my Audio Diary for today.....

Please let me know if today's Audio Inspires you and don't forget to LISTEN to more audios on my Diary Playlist (Right Wing of this blog), share with others and follow me on Twitter @AlexOkoroji, sign up for email updates or join my BBM Channel for giveaways.

Have A Magnificent Monday And A Great Week Ahead Lovelies! Kisses!
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Thursday, 18 September 2014

Dirty Talk In The Panties....

Hey Lovelies! Lately, I've been accused of being way too serious and dated. I know it's been a long while since I played NAUGHTY here or even CRACKED you up silly.....Well, a friend of mine tried to DIRTY talk his way into my PANTIES....Hahahah.....And it had me thinking of all the HILARIOUS pick-up lines men use to get women into bed....or at least get them WET from sheer laughter.  

Here's what my crazy friend said to me...."Alex do you have a phone in your back pocket, because your booty is calling me, and yes....I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be present." I just burst out in uncontrollable laughter and I honestly can't stop laughing.

Well I decided to SPREAD the humour and share some more hilariously CRUDE pick-up lines I found while researching for content for my next COMIC screen play...Feel free to CRINGE or just roll on the floor laughing. Believe me I did the same. Enjoy!!!

#1) Girl, do you live on a chicken farm? 'Cause you sure know how to raise a COCK.

#2) I think it's time I tell you what people are saying behind your back... "Nice ASS!"

#3) Do you mix concrete for a living? Because I swear,  you're making me HARD.

#4) I lost my VIRGINITY. Err...Can I have yours?

#5) If you're feeling down, believe me,  I can FEEL you up.

#6) FUCK me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?

#7) My DICK just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your round ASS?

#8) Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd sure love to SPREAD them!

#9) There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy URANUS. Note Pronounciation: Ur - Anus!!!!

#10) I may not go down in history, but I'll sure go DOWN on you baby.

#11) You might not be the best looking girl here, but BEAUTY is only a light switch away.

#12) That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd BE coming too.

#13) Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my PACKAGE.

#14) I'm blind. Can I READ your t-shirt in braille?

#15) You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just WANT it for one night.

#16) Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just PRACTICE then?

#17) Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can SEE myself in your pants.

#18) Why pay for a bra, when I would gladly hold your BOOBS up all day for free? 

#19) Let's have a party and invite your PANTS to come on down.

#20) Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll SLAM you all night long!

#21) Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I WARM them in your heaving breasts?

#22) Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your BODY good.

#23) I'm hung like a tic tac. Wanna FRESHEN your breath?

#24) Excuse me, but do you give HEAD to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.

#25) Let's play carpenter. First we'll get hammered, then I'll NAIL you.

Hahahah. Whether you were irritated, miffed or whipped by the sheer brilliance of the slapstick humour in them. One has to admit that it makes for a very good laugh? Do let me know if you honestly think any of these have the power to break a women's sexual resolve.

Have A Terrific Thursday Lovelies! Muaah!
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Monday, 15 September 2014

Want Better, Do Better....

Hey Lovelies! Today's "BOOST" may not make you LAUGH damn hard or make you HORNY n wild, but it will definitely stroke your mind deep:

1) The first principle is that you must not FOOL yourself. And oh, you're the easiest person to fool dear, Believe me.

2) If you 'aim' at NOTHING, Omo mehn, you will HIT it every single time.

3) Life's problems wouldn't be called "HURDLES" if there wasn't a way to get OVER them. Don't worry....just jump and pass biko.

4) The only way you may CORRECT the 'bad' things in your past is to add BETTER things to your future. And I don't mean a Drug Addict for a Serial Killer. (covers face).

5) Being loved by ALL is little fun... Unless of course, you're also loved by ONE. The ELUSIVE one.

6) Whether you 'think' you CAN or think you CAN'T.... Err...Yes, you are actually right! Lol.

7) To think TOO long about doing something, often becomes its undoing. What are you thinking? Just do it joor!

8) Many are 'stubborn' in pursuit of the 'path' they have chosen, few in pursuit of the GOAL. Ehen! Where is the goal? Ya dig?!

9) To know the road ahead....SIMPLE....just ask those coming back. Hahaha.

10) What we are is God's gift to us. What we 'become' is our GIFT to God. What have you become?

11) Never 'explain' yourself. Your TRUE friends do not 'need' it and your enemies will not 'believe' it anyway. Except that the ratio of friends to enemies are 1 in 10 places. Lol.

12) Don't be afraid to take a BIG step, if one is indicated....because you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.

13) Anyone who ever gave you CONFIDENCE, Ha! you owe them a lot. Yes, like my 4 year old son loving my belly handles. Hehehe.

14) 'Shyness' has a strange element of narcissism, a BELIEF that how we are, look or how we perform, is truly important to others. But err....Seriously Who cares?

15) Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the FIRST or the LAST time. Yea! Like imagine me NAKED. Aha!!!

16) There is no telling how many MILES you will have to run while 'chasing' a DREAM. Just keep running though....

17) There is often 'less' danger in the things we FEAR, than in the things we DESIRE....I never said a thing about LOVE. Think about it. Haha!

18) You have to 'expect' things of yourself before you can DARE to do them.

19) When the grass looks 'greener' on the other side of the fence, it may just be that they take better CARE of it there. Abeg, take care of yours.

20) Though no one can go back and make a brand NEW start, anyone can start from 'now' and make a brand new ENDING. Its all up to you.

Have A Magnificent Monday Lovelies! And A Great Week Ahead. Remember, its up to you to KNOW Better, WANT Better And DO Better. Don't forget to let me know what you think about today's inspiration, No 5 comment gets a free giveaway and please share my thoughts with others. You may help revive a soul. Kisses!
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Sunday, 7 September 2014

That Free Love....

Do you want someone to love you for their own SELFISH benefits/reasons? 

Do you want someone to love you because you have confused,  MANIPULATED, cajoled or forced them to believe so? 

Do you want someone to love you out of the FEAR of what they stand to lose for not loving you? 

Do you want someone to love you cos they feel OBLIGATED to do so?

Do you want someone to love you because they think they don't have a CHOICE?

And in truth, a lot of people base their LOVE on the aforementioned...

Imagine also that God doesn't want us to love him simply because the LAW orders us to do so or we fear the consequences of not trying to love him or not having him in our lives...Which is why he freed us from the law and gave us GRACE. For Grace is one of the biggest reflections of Love.

He wants us to love him simply because we VALUE him and can sacrifice our time for him.

We christians always say we gave ourselves to christ.... but the truth is that we have NOTHING to give him, because we SACRIFICED nothing. Instead He gave himself to us. And that's true love, because the proof of love is rooted in sacrifice...And it is for that love, we were purposely created.

For to love someone....Is to give all of yourself willingly and freely.

Because there is no greater feeling, no greater grace than someone who loves you, even with your IMPERFECTIONS, and no greater sacrifice than someone who puts your own needs above theirs, out of love, out of their own free will, out of their own free choosing. 

So when next someone claims to love you. The real proof is rooted in the amount of GRACE they give you and the level of SACRIFICE they make for you.

Have A Sweet Sunday Lovelies! Kisses!
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Friday, 5 September 2014

Its Over....And I'm Done!

It usually STARTS one of both ways out of the blue...."Areesi" or "Hey Alex"....Ha! Were you expecting any of the three text words, most LOVERS yearn for "I Miss You", "I Need You" or even "I Love You".....Naaaah! That's too much to ask from my golden FUCK mate of approximately 7 years (back n' forth) biko....Bia, forgerrrit! There's certainly no ROMANCE here. Forget holding hands, staring into each others eyes whilst smothering each other with loving KISSES spurred by the butterflies playing ten ten in the pit of one's stomach. Mba nu! We've never let ourselves go all out like that.

Sometimes I would wait to see which one of us said hello first, and If I was moved to do so first, I would wait to see if the ATTRACTION was still there, or if either of us have moved on to someone new. And anxiously hope not to be REJECTED. I knew what I was doing was wrong. Pinning and hoping someday he will BUMP his big head on the wall and realise I was the right woman, the only woman for him....Yea Right! What movie was I dreaming of?....Hehehe....Until then, I have to manage this destructive ADDICTION. Logically, I knew that this man will never give me what I needed from him, still the tendrils of the love I feel for him is wrapped like a PRETZEL around my heart so I couldn't let go....even if I wanted to.

So many times, I would try one way or another to get him out of my life. Date a NEW man for a few days, maybe even weeks, make up a new one in my head, perhaps flirt up a WILD storm....anything to let him know that I wasn't willing to be AVAILABLE anymore.... before I realise once again that he was the only one I truly wanted. Even though the most shocking ease with which he let's go, was always the indication I needed to remind myself that this LOVE really wasn't balanced. I was this piece of amazing ASS like the rest, and the meaningless convenient SEX on his part was an ardent distinction between passion and love but an honest REFLECTION of where he wanted to be with me.....which was a far cry from the images, my overtly creative mind painted of us both.

Once again, like everywhere we go, we are constantly stuck with questions and rumours of us and I will sometimes PEER at him from the corners of my eyes, hoping he'll be a man and own up to his feelings....maybe even shock everyone including myself and say the damnest thing... "Yes, we are dating....And I love her." Choi!! Another one of those cheesy romantic moments that will never happen....But I'm a woman and I lie, if I say I do not yearn to hear a man proudly and boldly say that for the whole world to hear. Oh well, I know he never would cos he doesn't have that sort of back bone. And as much as I understand he loves his privacy, there's a difference between being private and an outright denial.

So after noting that and grudgingly denying myself of some play time with his WILLY and discarding our usual tussle under the sheets.... We settled for an early morning comfortable conversation filled with LOUD laughter and familiars JABS reminiscent of the kind old buddies, even old couples are used to. But I knew in my HEART. I loved him with every fibre in my being....Yet, We couldn't go on like this, cos someone's heart was bound to get broken....and I was looking exactly like the perfect CAST for that role. I needed to do something swift, maybe even stupid. I'll rather break my own heart myself, than let him BREAK it again for the umpteenth time. So I picked up my phone and dialled the one person I knew had the potential to save me from myself. And after a very long conversation....I said 'YES'. I don't know if I'm making another mistake right now....but since Mr B knows how I feel about Mr A and Mr A doesn't feel any regrets about losing me to Mr B....and Mr B wants a chance to help me forget Mr A exists....And Mr A is happy for me, wishing me all the best with Mr B. So I decided to take my FINAL exit from this DEAD-END relationship, knowing it's over and I'm out.... In the end, a woman only wants THE man who truly wants her too. Wink!!!

Have A Fantastic Friday Lovelies! Kisses!

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