Sunday, 31 May 2015

Love Letter 1: What Do You Want?

Hey Sweetkins, as an Expressionist, my first mandate isn't to simply 'express' my thoughts and opinions... but to first revel in the many depths of TRUTH I find within my EXPERIENCES. So much has happened this past week and I'm still trying to collect all my thoughts. One of which highlights throws me off my game, an ex boyfriend came into town and bam....Once again, I'm somewhat thrown into the lions den. Somewhere around the struggle between untamed physical chemistry, NOSTALGIA and feelings that had me questioning what I thought I already knew about LOVE. And where my dear Tigers fits into all of these, in the scheme of "always have, always will" I had clearly forgotten about him for a few days, except when I made a call to report myself that I had nestled in the arms of another man. Clearly, the law of Okafor isn't a myth, at least in this case. (Not that I expected him to care though. I've just gotten used to dumping my shit on him) He's a great listener and sometimes that's all I need.

I was checking my email folders and I stumbled on a series of love letters I had emailed my on-off love interest, Tiger (not real name) two years ago. (Who, until now had no real competition). I didn't realise that I have always been so NAKED about my feelings, so clear about where I stood...And not getting any satisfactory reply then, clearly stipulating the true state of our roller coaster RELATIONSHIP should have given me an idea that our FROLICKING was never going to graduate into anything more. Yet reading this email had me thinking all sorts of things. I mean, even though this letter was addressed to a different man two years ago. it is still relevant now. I'm not willing to become any man's "fuck-buddy"...that hasn't changed even if they have a great FUCK BODY. Hehehe. (My sexcapade with current Mr X is story for another day). What could a man possibly be thinking if he received one of these from a supposedly strong confident woman....And how is he supposed to respond to the question "WHAT DO YOU WANT?".

If you are in one of those COMPLICATED twisted undefined relationships....You might want to see if this letter I wrote a few years ago articulates your own feelings right now....

Hey Dear, I know this would have made better sense said in person or over the phone, but I don't want to ever make you feel cornered or ambushed.

I am soooo happy (because yesterday you made quite an effort to fulfil me in different ways) and it means so much to me. But there's a part of me that feels like I may be mis-understanding the situation, you or your intentions once again. And I really want to be clear. I want to know what we are doing. This time, I want to be clear about where I stand with you and what you want from me, that way, there are no misconceptions between us.

It is true that of the few men I really care about, I do love you the most. That being said, I have also grown to love and value myself. And I'm not willing to be any man's play thing or 'fuck buddy'. I want a man who is willing to give to a relationship with me, as much as I'm willing to give.

I have realised I'm too much of my own woman. And I'll be damned if I have to keep competing somewhat with 'ghosts of girlfriend's past' as I know your confusion with women is endless.

6 years is enough time to know, if I have a place in your life right now...and perhaps someday in the future, if I have a place in your future as well. I know we both aren't done exorcising our demons. Believe me, I'm working as hell on mine and I want to stop carrying around old baggage I can simply toss and be free. So right now I'm not asking you to make promises to me. I'm asking you to make a commitment to yourself. Toss away your old baggage, and set yourself free completely. Yes, I want you to want me. I want you to love me too but more than anything else I want you to love 'yourself' enough to know what kind of Woman you really need. I know what I want. What do you want?

Have a good night dear.

I think he did try to have a talk with me. Something about trying to get over his feelings for his ex girlfriend and how he would love to be a part of my life and didn't want to lose my amazing friendship....bla bla bla...BUT....of course there is always a complication with these sort of liasons. Either a broken heart that hasn't mended, a wife in the mix, a separation that might not necessarily mean divorce, long distance or a basic sharp guy who thinks he can play fence. lol (Trust me, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it) Hahahah. And that was the TRUTH. Ha!! Yesk! Your confusion is as good as mine.

Could you possibly be giving your heart, your time and even your body to someone who is never going to take you serious. Well try re-writing my LOVE LETTER and lets see what results they yield for you. I'm very curious to find out.

NOTE : Join Me In My Effort To Change The World With My Empowering Thoughts. If You Like Today's 'Love & Naked Reality'....Then Don't Forget To Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot).

Got A Question? Feel Free To #AskAlexHere. If You Want Some Talk Therapy Instead, Then Take Advantage of my Private One-on-One and Book an appointment with #AskAlex using SetMore NOW!!!

Have A Sweet Soulful Sunday Lovelies! Kisess!!!

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Wednesday, 27 May 2015

The Truth Serum

Hey Talk-Bugs, I swear this has got to make you think. I've been caught up in so much. That just a few days away from sharing my NAKED thoughts, I'm all WET with clear insight. Here's the TRUTH Serum, hope the juice STIMULATES you:

1) The worst kind of deafness is not when someone can't HEAR. it's when they won't LISTEN.

2) Sometimes you must 'slow down' the pace of your mistakes, in order for the WISDOM to catch up.

3) People often 'underestimate' the VALUE of the things they GET and 'overestimate' the value of the things that they have to part with.

4) The deceptive thing about emotions, is that they really are CHOICES. Not always the initiation of them, but certainly the 'continuation' of them.

5) The moment you start taking someone for GRANTED... is the very moment you start LOSING them.

6) Don't be a prisoner of your PAST, learn from your mistakes and build a FUTURE that is far better than the one you first dreamt of.

7) Just because you have VALUES... doesn't mean you are actually valuing them.

8) If one will only LOOK, one will keep looking.... But, If one chooses to find, one will actually FIND. Go figure!

9) Some people will pretend to CARE just so they can get a better seat to watch your struggle. Every helping hand isn't always there simply to help.

10) Rejection doesn't mean you aren't good enough... it simply means the other person FAILED to notice what you actually have to offer.

11) Sometimes you must REBEL against your former self to GROW.

12) First it needs to be considered ACCEPTABLE, before it can be considered PREFERABLE. You dig?

13) Decisions only ever transform you, if you COMMIT to them.

14) What you make of your STRESS determines what stress makes of you.

15) It's not WHAT you have in life... but WHO you have. Biko, who do you have?

16) We may 'win' by CHANCE or even lose by a stroke of BAD the end of the day, what really matters is how well we have played.

NOTE : Join Me In My Effort To Change The World With My Empowering Thoughts. If You Like Today's 'Boost'....Then Don't Forget To Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot).

Got A Question? Feel Free To #AskAlexHere. If You Want Some Talk Therapy Instead, Then Take Advantage of my Private One-on-One and Book an appointment with #AskAlex using SetMore NOW!!!

Have A Wonderful Wednesday Lovelies! Kisess!!!
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Friday, 15 May 2015


As the daughter of a famous musician in the 80's who grew up in a house-hold surrounded by MUSIC....Music is actually the first form of 'Expression' that I encountered. It was what our father woke us to....And I still SHOCK my much older friends, when I sing the lyrics of a 1950's funk. Its almost as if I'm an old soul re-incarnated in a young body. Bia Alex, are you sure....? (See them looking at me suspiciously) But truly, how could I possibly know the complete LYRICS of songs almost twice my age?

My Ex, Tiger (not his real name) is an epileptic music lover. He would most times NOD his head in certain uncoordinated body movements, totally unflattering and HILLARIOUS but in a way I found secretly 'endearing'....experiencing pure ecstasy to all his favourite music and dude hardly ever remembered a single LINE of any song. (Hahahah).  You see, I remember back when I could sing practically every song I heard, word for word and people used to wonder how come, I learned a song so fast....Actually, it was pretty easy. Though a few times, I had the help of cover leaflets and music MAGAZINES (which by the way only covered current songs with bad spellings and their wrong synononyms) Most times, I simply LISTENED....Put a song on repeat, 5 times...and Viola! I caught it....Infact basic writing could almost tell what word would come next, if you know how to RHYME.

I not only listened to the BEAT or the music (Instrumentals) as I like to call it. I listened intently to the main FOUNDATION of each song, it's LYRICS because that's where the core message is. So it confuses me, how anyone can enjoy music without paying attention to the message, if any at all.

Music is a major tool of EXPRESSION, it has always had the power to shape consciousness and if we paid more attention to the CONTENT of each song we listened to....we may find the courage to feel things we never thought we could feel, go places we never knew we could go and even EXPERIENCE the motivation to change our thoughts, ourselves and perhaps the world at large.

The song playing is my "Music Essential" for the weekend....It was originally written by BONO and released March 6,1992 by the Irish band U2 in the "Achtung Baby" Album and re-recorded as a duet in 2005 with Mary J Blige, one of my Favourite Female Soul/Rn'B Artistes of all times. It describes the deepest TRUTH about the difference, disunity, division, hatred and segregation, people experience everyday. If only we understood that LOVE truly is a temple.... the world needs to come together as ONE and "carry each other" because there's so much that UNITES us than divides us.

Every time I hear this song, I get goose pimples....And for instrumental LOVERS, the instrumentation is out of this world. Do you know the song? Have you listened to it word for word? Does it do to you what it does to me? Well, take a Listen....let's FEED our minds. I highlighted my favourite lines in the lyrics. Ponder on it and don't forget to share your thoughts about its message. I'm itching to find out your thoughts.

Title : ONE
Artiste : MARY J BLIGE feat U2
Year: 2005




Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame

You say one love, one life (one life)
It's one need in the night
One love (one love), get to share it
Leaves you darling, if you don't care for it


Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without

Well it's too late, tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to carry each other
Carry each other


Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus?
To the lepers in your head

Well, did I ask too much, more than a lot?
You gave me nothing, now it's all I got
We're one, but we're not the same
Well we, hurt each other
Then we do it again


You say
Love is a temple
Love is a higher law
Love is a temple
Love is the higher law
You ask me to enter
Well then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters and my
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other

One love

NOTE : Join Me In My Effort To Change The World With My Empowering Thoughts. If You Like Today's 'Music Essential'....Then Don't Forget To Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot).

Got A Question? Feel Free To #AskAlexHere. If You Want Some Talk Therapy Instead, Then Take Advantage of my Private One-on-One and Book an appointment with #AskAlex using SetMore NOW!!!

Have A Fantastic Friday Lovelies! Kisses!!!

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Wednesday, 13 May 2015

In Your Very Own Skin

You know that odd feeling, when you get an unexpected COMPLIMENT?....

Well, I just walked by a bunch of high school girls and two of them stopped me...."Excuse me Ma, You are so BEAUTIFUL..." I was a little thrown off, by their pure and sincere ADMIRATION. I murmured a quiet "Awww...Thank You" shyly. Of course, a lot of people don't know how easily 'embarrassed' 'Alex' gets when it comes to compliments.

You see, I didn't know these girls, I don't think they knew me. Here I was wearing a 3/4 casual jumpsuit with a cardigan, my signature NAPPY hair and without a single stitch of make-up (as I always am, whenever I am out around my neighbourhood)...looking for a mechanic to FIX my flat tyre, yet these young girls I would expect will dreamingly worship the photoshop beauty, teenage girls are exposed to, on COVER magazines and beauty blogs, thought I was 'so beautiful' they needed to stop me, just to tell me so.

The problem is, I actually thought twice about stepping out of my home without make-up on. I mean, I get reminded now and again that I am a CELEBRITY and I always need to look my Sunday's best.... I even considered wearing a little mascara, maybe some foundation and a lip gloss to mask my recent work stress...but I changed my mind because I was too much in a hurry and the sun was bloody HOT.

Sometimes, we get lost in our awry ideas of beauty and PERFECTION, that we forget that 'beauty' in itself can be found in simplicity, in flaws, in imperfections and that different people appreciate beauty differently.

Your forehead might be WIDE and your nose might be LONG, your hips might be NARROW and your breasts might be SMALL. You might be overweight and your legs might be SHORT, bow, shaped like a 'K' or not without a limp. You don't know how to pronounce words without a single lipse and your skin is simply not the colour of PEACH.

You may not always meet society's PERCEPTION of perfection or what is seems. But in the real world, you will always be beautiful to someone.... just as long as you are comfortable and CONFIDENT in your very own skin.

NOTE : Join Me In My Effort To Change The World With My Empowering Thoughts. If You Like Today's 'Boost'....Then Don't Forget To Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot).

Got A Question? Feel Free To #AskAlexHere. If You Want Some Talk Therapy Instead, Then Take Advantage of my Private One-on-One and Book an appointment with #AskAlex using SetMore NOW!!!

Have A Wonderful Wednesday Lovelies! Kisess!!!

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Monday, 11 May 2015

Using My Challenges To Challenge Myself

Steve Harvey always says one needs to celebrate one's milestone. For me, when you achieve something GREAT, it's okay to give yourself a nice pat on the ass for a job well done. Well, if you noticed....I've been quiet for a few days. As I sat in the same spot for 18 hours....struggling with my newest CHALLENGE. I needed to write a movie screenplay in 5 days....And oh! it had to be COMEDY....Not slapstick comedy but Intelligent Guy Comedy....Chineke meh!! I have almost forgotten what it feels like to be a SCREENWRITER with deadlines. I mean, recently writing Books and Online Articles are just a totally different kettle of fish, plus I'm not sure what's been happening to my sense of humour lately. And what the hell do I know about being a guy anyway? I'm pretty much ESTROGEN on overdrive.  Well, I had a deadline...and I needed to meet it. The Actors were already in California and I needed to sort off live up to the HYPE, that my good friend and Ace Actor, Yemi Blaq already created about me.

So I put on my Superwoman cape and threw SLEEP out the windows.( it's not like I sleep anyway) but this time add, stress, deadline and challenge to the awry mix. It really isn't the same thing as just being an INSOMNIAC. Should I add fuel scarcity, constant electrical power cut, corrupted writing software and terrible heat....nwa... nwa... nwa... (Oh what a beautiful inspiration) I can see the CHARACTERS just flowing out of my sweat pores. Geez! I must have been CRAZY. The producer had to have been high on some cheap weed ....And the director, completely insane to think this was even remotely possible. Phewww!!! Ofcourse that meant my BLOG would suffer. Oh Yeah! There's absolutely no way I could possibly be writing a 'marathon' script and blogging in the same breath. Then I figured, rather than just go completely SILENT on my fans and blog lovers, I could take a few days off the blog and  post smaller thoughts on social media to keep their MINDS active.

Then a friend of mine, Desbond reminded me last week after my Sunday's Morsel of #AlexDailyBoost that I needed to get a mobile app, so that my fans can follow me on the go. Ofcourse I agreed, he's not the first to tell me I needed one. Victor and Nthenya also have been on my neck about it. And let's be honest PROCASTINATION can be a Bitch. I was trying to save up the coins to do it. But mehn...e get as e be... I have to cough out 200k Naira as in $895 for just a mobile app? Okay, I hear it costs even more. Hian!!! When Ray wants cake and candles for his 5th birthday and I'm sure he doesn't intend to guzzle PURE WATER with it. Hehehe.  Plus I'm coughing out money to print my books, my memorabilias and let's not forget the monthly cost of running the online store, the Radio show, Lots and lots of online bills. And I don't have any sugar daddy to bear the costs with me. Mbok!! I'm SCREWED fa! Hahaha.

Well since my supposed technical assistant, Victor went Awol and I know the drill about chasing people to get things done. I said to myself, "Well I'm broke I might as well use my Challenges to CHALLENGE myself". I mean, screw deadline. I can do them both yeah? How hard can it possibly be? Plus it will be nice to introduce something new to the ABC right?! That's how I sort out my best friend "Google"....Omo Mehn! The Babe is the most reliable, dependable friend when my brain freezes. Yes ke! when you are absolutely in doubt or CONFUSED about what direction to go. Google is the perfect AGONY Aunt Extraordinaire. She'll always be available to guide you somewhat and connect you to professional information that can help. (And forgive me for referring to her as a lady) But no man really wants to be called Google eii. And I might appear like I KNOW everything about everything....but guess what? I still have no clue why the chicken crossed the road. Lol.

Hello Google, I have a do I design a blog? Hello Google, how I do create an App? Hello Google, who is Alex Okoroji? Hello Google....errr yes, please how can my brother boil a pot of rice....Ehen, last one Google....When Is my Future HUSBAND coming? Hehehe. Point being that whenever I need some technical support and I'm really not sure about it, I seek answers on how to tackle it especially since I used to be 'technologically' challenged. (Well, that's all changed now). Even, my dad thinks the Nigerian singer, Wizkid needs to pass up his name to me. I've become a genius of sort designing 4 of my websites. (His thoughts, not mine biko). Anyway I figured, it can't really be that difficult to create a mobile app for Android and Iphones ....So ofcourse, I researched and found several platforms I could experiment with and create mine. Some I liked, some I didn't. Some inexpensive and others totally out of this world ridiculous. I ended up creating 4 different apps (Yes, I can be very indecisive sometimes....and I go crazy on experimenting especially when I figure something new).

Those platforms always kind of lie to you that it's free. If you believe that, then you believe I'm a VIRGIN with a 5 year old son. Nothing is free (trust me I ended up paying more than I anticipated on hidden charges) $75 including finally publishing and it will probably cost me more on upgrade. But then again its probably not as expensive as an App developer who's trying to buy the latest Range Rover on top of your head, baby. So it's worth taking the time to cut your cost as well as LEARN something NEW. The truth is we always see a CHALLENGE as an OBSTACLE, instead of seeing it as an OPPORTUNITY to experience something fresh. If I had the money, I would have paid for one but i'll probably never have the 'creative' input as well as the luxury of choice and the knowledge or the experience of what it actually takes to create one. So I eventually created the app in 18 hours, downloaded the APK files, published it at the app store myself and created the banners. And oh, I ended up finishing the screenplay just in time too....and the Actors are presently filming my work "HOLLYWOOD INVASION". I hope Danny Glover loved it as much as the rest of the other African Actors.

If you are curious about my simple test Android App and want to stay updated with my blog and radio activities. You can DOWNLOAD it. Its free. This is the first of a number of crazy applications I'll be creating. (I believe practice makes perfect)... And please be kind to leave a REVIEW at the Google Play Store. Yes, I love being Smart, Sexy and Geeky. You can too. Don't forget to turn whatever challenge you are experiencing into a MILESTONE. I know You CAN if you put your mind to it! Or what do you think Lovelies?!

NOTE : Join Me In My Effort To Change The World With My Empowering Thoughts. If You Like Today's 'Random Musing'....Then Don't Forget To Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot).

Got A Question? Feel Free To #AskAlexHere. If You Want Some Talk Therapy Instead, Then Take Advantage of my Private One-on-One and Book an appointment with #AskAlex using SetMore NOW!!!

Have A Magnificent Monday Lovelies! Kisess!!!

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Tuesday, 5 May 2015

Made For Love

Someone complained that I write too much about love...."Alex, can't you focus on preaching God's word and his commandments." I laughed and I said to her.

Julia, the only commandment I recognise is LOVE....

LOVE is my Religion
GOD is my Spirituality

Then she said, "What happened to thou shall not..."

And I said..."If I love you Julia....I shall not KILL.... If I love you, I shall not STEAL from you....If I love you, I shall not bear FALSE witness against you, covert thy property, LIE to you, DISRESPECT you or even commit ADULTERY...."

I started telling myself this a year ago to make my life so much easier....And since I started loving people without bias or conditions....The PEACE in my heart has been INCREDIBLE.

It only takes someone to love those around them, for them to understand that they don't need the old testaments to tell them, how best to live a fulfilling life that truly glorifies God.  The law makes it so hard that we forget that GRACE has been given to us with pure love and that God didn't bring RELIGION to separate us or to divide us.

And it probably never occurs to us that everything we do depends solely on the FOUNDATION of love. Maybe if we loved each other more, something truly BEAUTIFUL will MANIFEST and the world will be a much better place for us all.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are yet to understand that Love is the REVOLUTION this world truly needs.

And the real reason we all are here is because....

We were made for love....

We are made to love....

For anyone who doesn't love, truly doesn't know God....because GOD himself is LOVE.

NOTE : Join Me In My Effort To Change The World With My Empowering Thoughts. If You Like Today's 'Boost'....Then Don't Forget To Share It With Those You Love (Or Even Like A Lot).

Got A Question? Feel Free To #AskAlexHere. If You Want Some Talk Therapy Instead, Then Take Advantage of my Private One-on-One and Book an appointment with #AskAlex using SetMore NOW!!!

Have A Terrific Tuesday Lovelies! Kisess!!!

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